Most scenes together: Gru & Agnes (7), Gru & Margo (7), Margo & Edith (7)
Despicable Me quotes
Page 1 of 5Hey, buddy, let me explain something to you. You see that little tin spaceship? You see how it's not knocked over? Do you know what that means, professor? It means you don't get the unicorn! Oh! Uh-oh! Somebody's got a frowny face. Boo! Better luck next time! (Anges starts to cry. Gru: Ok, my turn.)
Sorry, dude. They can't ride without an adult.
Sorry, buddy. Show's over.
Hi, guys.
No.
Let me go!
[Vector evil laughs as he tries to shoot Gru. But gets hurt by the moon]
We've been working on this one for a while. It's an Anti-Gravity Serum.
I meant to close that. He'll be all right, I'm sure.
Do the effects wear off?
Err, so far, no. No, they don't.
And here, of course, is the new weapon you ordered. [fires cloud of foul-smelling gas at minion, making a flatulent noise and knocking the minion out]
No, no, no. I said dart gun, not fart gun!
Oh, yes. 'Cause I was wondering under what circumstances would we use this.
I did it for your own good. Come on, let’s go get that Moon.
Right.
Only 48 hours til the launch and all systems are go.
About that, I was thinking that maybe we could move the date of the heist.
Please tell me that this not as a result of the girls' dance recital?
No, no, no! The recital? Don't... That's stupid! I just think it's kind of weird to do it on a Saturday. I was thinking, maybe a heist is a Tuesday thing, right?
Gru! You and I have been working on this for years! It's everything we've dreamed of! Your chance to make history: become “The Man Who Stole the Moon.” But these girls are becoming a major distraction! They need to go! If you don’t do something about it, I will.
I understand. [leaves]
Good.
Ah, Dr. Nefario.
I know how you must be feeling. I too have encountered great disappointment, but, in my eyes, you'll always be one of the greats.
What? What happened?
It's all over the news! Some fella just stole a pyramid! He said it makes all other villains look... lame.
Morning, Gru! How you doing?
Hello, Fred. FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard and I don't appreciate it.
Sorry. You know dogs, they go wherever they wanna go.
Unless they're dead. [laughs] I'm joking! Although it is true. Anyway, have a good one.
Oh, okay. Uh... yeah!
I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid. [Gru sighs in disgust] That was you, wasn't it? Or was it a villain who was actually successful? [laughs]
Listen, I'm in the middle of something that's very very big, very important! When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud!
Ha! Good luck with that! Okay, I'm outta here! [ends the call and kicks a punching bag in her dojo, knocking another man across the room] Ha!
Okay, girls, time for bed.
Ah, come on, we want a story.
Oh no, sorry, that book was accidentally destroyed maliciously.
Tonight, we are going to read a new book. [shows his homemade book to the girls] This one is called, "One Big Unicorn" by... Who wrote it? Oh, me! I wrote it! [opens the book] Oh, look, it's a puppet book. Hey, watch this. [sticks his nose through a small hole] That's the horn.
Not to pat myself on the back, but yes, it probably will be. [opens the book] Here we go. "One big unicorn, strong and free, thought he was happy as he could be. Until 3 little kittens came around and turned his whole life upside down."
No, what are you talking about? These are kittens. Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental. [continues reading] "They made him laugh... [laughs] ...They made him cry." [sighs] "He never should have said goodbye. And now he knows he could never part, from those 3 little kittens that changed his heart." [beats] The End. [closes the book] Okay, alright, good night.
I love you.