Mr. Burns
What's wrong?
Nobody! I mean nothing!
Played by Shana Carr 
Dan in Real Life (2007) · 37 quotes
Dan in Real Life (2007) · 37 quotes
Tied for 5th most-quoted character in Dan in Real Life (2007): in 6 of its 37 quotes
Most scenes with: Dan (5), Mitch (2)
Scenes with Mr. Burns
6 scenes
Dad, Mom, what do you think of...?
Mr. Burns
Mitch, it's just too soon to tell!
Mrs. Burns
That said...she's bright, lovely, adorable, and if you botch this up, we'll keep her and get rid of you.
Mitch is a great guy.
He is, he is. He's fun and uh, funny. He's complicated, but in a good way. Just what I need.
He's a great guy.
See, I just got out of a relationship, and Mitch was there.
He's a great guy.
You keep saying that.
Well, because he is. So good luck, to all of us.
Mr. Burns
So a little bird told me you're going to be syndicated.
Lily. They're looking at a bunch of columnists, it's a long shot at best.
She's amazing! Name a place and she's either lived there or visited. Tibet, Chile, Berlin when there was the walls, she's...gah!
Mr. Burns
Well, Mitch certainly made out.
Yup.
Mr. Burns
And what about you?
Oh, Dad...
Mr. Burns
Come on, you always say that with Suzanne you won the lottery and to try again would feel greedy...But it's been 4 years!
Can we just walk please?
Mrs Burns
Dan, hi.
Hey.
Mrs. Burns
Honey, you know we're worried about you. You know that.
Mr. Burns
And with your behavior last night and this morning, we are now officially worried.
Well, I'm touched but, but, I'm fine.
Mrs. Burns
[Aunt 1 and Uncle 1 enter]
We're having a discussion.
No, no, come on in.
Mrs. Burns
Dan, this is private, we'd like to talk to you.
Go ahead.
Mrs. Burns
You know, you do so much for your girls, you do so much for all of us. But what are you doing for yourself?
Aunt 2
Can we come in?
It's fine. Stay please.
Mrs. Burns
We'd like to speak to you privately.
Go ahead, mom.
Daughter
Grandma?
Mrs. Burns
Yes, dear?
Daughter
Is this because Uncle Dan's acting so weird?
Uncle 2
Yes, and you know, there's an explanation for all that weirdness.
Please, tell us!
Uncle 2
And I just wanted to talk to you: You have got to be WAY backed up, and I just hope that form time to time, you're treating yourself to a little self love.
All
Oh, come on!
Uncle 2
I talked to my neurologist about this!
Mr. Burns
That's enough!
Mrs. Burns
That's not what this is about!
Aunt 1
The one question that no one will ask is: will Dan ever find love again?
Uncle 1
No, he won't.
Mrs. Burns
Howard!
Uncle 1
No, I'm sorry, he won't. If you're open to it, love will find you.
Uncle 2
I don't know if I was being clear before, but you've got to unclog that drain.
Uh-huh.
Uncle
Unplug that bottle...I think I mixed the metaphor there.
So far what you've missed is; worried, love will find, unplug the drain. Well, thanks we are done!
Mrs. Burns
No, no. That is not it. We met Margo Draper's daughter at the farmer's market and she asked all about you.
Mr. Burns
You see Danny, you have to have a little fun.
Mrs. Burns
Which means she's going to pick you up, and you're going to have drinks! You're going on a date!
No mom!
Mrs. Burns
Yes, honey! It's TIME.
Ruthy 'Pig-face' Draper? Come on mom!
Mrs. Burns
She's not a Pig-face!
Uncle 2
Ruthy 'Pig-face' Draper...come on that is downright cruel!
Mom, I don't even remember Ruthy 'Pig-face' Draper. I don't wanna go! I don't want to go with...the...pig-face!
Mrs. Burns
Why you're persistent in acting like a 15 year-old is beyond me.
I'm filled with reckless desire.
Mrs. Burns
You ought to be filled with greater restraint.
What does that mean?
Mrs. Burns
I think you know what that means.
I really messed up.
Mrs. Burns
No you didn't.
Yeah I did mom. What I did to Lily...
Mr. Burns
Don't forget Mitch. And those newspaper people...
Mrs. Burns
Admittedly not a good day for you.
If I just stayed focused on being their Dad....
Mrs. Burns
Oh, please. Love is messy.
I shouldn't have done it. I hurt my kids.
Mrs. Burns
Go un-hurt them. You've made some mistakes--
Mr. Burns
Many. So many.
Mrs. Burns
--falling for Marie wasn't one of them.