Clerks II quotes

25 total quotes

Becky
Dante Hicks
Elias
Jay
Randal Graves

View Quote I hope that donkey doesn't have a hiney troll.

View Quote All right look, there's only one "Return", OK, and it ain't of the King. It's of the Jedi.

View Quote Dante Hicks: Can you feel it?
Randal Graves: Feel what?
Dante Hicks: Today is the first day of the rest of our lives.

View Quote Who would be friends with me? I hate everyone and everything seems stupid to me.

View Quote Randal: You're in the bestiality business, dude.
Sexy Stud: Hey, ****o! We like to call it inter-species erotica.
Randal: Intriguing.

View Quote What's the point of having an Internet connection if you're not using it to look at weird, ****ed-up pictures of dirty sex you'll never have yourself?

View Quote You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hangin' out in front of places sellin' weed 'n shit. Like, maybe be an animal doctor. Why not me? I like seals 'n shit. Or maybe an astronaut. Yeah... I'd be the first mother****er to see a new galaxy, or find a new alien life form... and **** it. And people'd be, like, "There he goes; homeboy ****ed the Martian once."

View Quote What's sexier than an elf princess's sword?

View Quote You're my best friend and I love you, in a totally heterosexual way. Please don't leave me.

View Quote What'd you do that for?! You realise he just thinks you're trying to get him into a three-way with us now, don't you?