Randy Meatloaf, smeatloaf, double beetloaf. I hate meatloaf.
Played by Ian Petrella 
A Christmas Story (1983) · 48 quotes
A Christmas Story (1983) · 48 quotes
5th most-quoted character in A Christmas Story (1983): in 6 of its 48 quotes
Most scenes with: Mr. Parker (2), Ralphie (2), Mrs. Parker (2)
Scenes with Randy
6 scenes Randy Randy I can't put my arms down!
Randy I can't get up! Ralphie, I can't get up!!
Randy [Randy runs first to the drawer, and Ralphie pushes him aside]
Come on, Ralphie, I got here first!
Tough!
[Randy starts kicking and hitting Ralphie from behind while Ralphie is at the dresser pulling a pair of socks out of the drawer and finishes]
Cut it out! [He leaves to put his Boy's Life Red Ryder magazine in his mother's magazine in their room]
Ralphie as Adult
[Ralphie is lying in bed, eyes open, his cheeks stained with tears, silently crying and thinking] [narrating]
Three blocks away, Schwartz was getting his. There has never been a kid who didn't believe, vaguely but insistently, that he would be stricken blind before he reached twenty-one, and then they'd be sorry. [Ralphie’s bottom lip goes out.]
[Ralphie begins to imagine a scenario where he has gone blind, returning home with a cane and a pair of sunglasses, knocking on the door with the cane]
Why, it's Ralph!
Well, come on in, Ralph. Where have you been?
Why... he's carrying a cane!
What is it, Ralph? What happened?
Why he's... blind!
Blind? Oh, my God!
Randy Ralphie!
Ralph, is this something WE did?
What brought you to this lowly state?
Ralph, please tell us, no matter how it hurts. What did we DO?
Look, I can't.
Oh, please, Ralph.
Please.
I must know what we did. What brought you to this?!
Please.
Please... Please?
It... it- it was...
Yes? ...Yes?
Soap... poisoning! [The Old Man repeats it to himself quietly.]
Well, I'll manage to get along... somehow.
I'll never forgive myself.
Thanks, Mom. [She nods.]
I told you not to use Lifebuoy! Oh, I feel awful!
[Ralphie smiles as his parents continue to wail. Back in reality, he smiles in bed.]
Randy [opening his biggest gift]
Wow! Whoopee! A zeppelin!
