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Tom: How I discipline my kids is none of your business.
Jimmy: You know, I've been trying to say this in a nice way, but uh... well, there's a pretty good reason your kids are screw-ups.
Tom: My kids screwed up. They are not screw-ups!
Jimmy: That's because you're not strict enough. Parenting isn't a popularity contest, Tom, but I guess if you knew that, your kids wouldn't be so undisciplined, and you and I wouldn't be having this conversation.
Tom: The only problem with my kids is that they're hanging out with your kids!
Jimmy: It wasn't my daughter who got caught stealing.
Tom: And it wasn't my son who trashed the tennis court!
Jimmy: Do you actually think I'm screwing up my kids, Baker?
Tom: Yeah. And one day, they're gonna crack.
Jimmy: Well, why don't we test that theory... on Labor Day!? Murtaughs vs. Bakers... for the cup! What do you say?
Tom: You're on. We'll see you there.


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