Sheriff [Mater is tricked into almost letting Lightning out of the carpound until the Sheriff shows up.]
MATER! What did I tell you about talking to the accused?
Played by Michael Wallis 
Cars (2006) · 158 quotes
Cars (2006) · 158 quotes
Tied for 5th most-quoted character in Cars (2006): in 11 of its 158 quotes
Most scenes with: Lightning McQueen (9), Mater (9), Doc Hudson (6)
Scenes with Sheriff
11 scenes Sheriff [desperately trying to convince the rest of the gang that Doc was the Fabulous Hudson Hornet]
Did you know Doc was a famous race car?
Sheriff [Everybody doesn't believe him and start snickering.]
Doc? Our Doc?
Not Doc Hudson.
No no no no it's true! He's a real racing legend. He's the Fabulous Hudson Hornet!
Fabulous? I've never seen Doc drive more than 20 miles an hour. I mean have you ever seen him race?
No, but I wish I could. They say that he was amazing. He won three Piston Cups!
[Driving away from Radiator Springs]
Woo Hoo! Goodbye Radiator Springs and goodbye Bessie! California, here I come! [Continues speeding away] Oh feel that wind... Yes! [Engine begins to sputter] No... no... no no no! Out of gas?! How could I be out of gas?! [Stops right in front of Sheriff and Sally]
Sheriff [Chuckles]
Boy, we ain't as dumb as you think we are.
Bu-bu-but... but how did...?
We siphened your gas while you were passed out. Kachow! [Does Lightning's bid maneuver]
[Red moves in front of the statue and blows his airhorn, causing some of the tractors to rear up on themselves, while others go elsewhere.]
No no no no, get out of the store! Hey! Don't eat the radial! Here, take-a the snow tire.
Sheriff [A tractor is seen behind Lightning chasing Fillmore and being chased by Sarge while Sheriff is trying to round up the tractors.]
Mater!
I wasn't tractor tippin'!
Sheriff Then where did all of these gull-dern tractors come from?!
Whoa! Whoa boy! Whoa!
Hey, hey guys. There's one going this way. I got it.[goes off and follows the one tractor.]
[The folks of Radiator Springs are sad that Lightning McQueen left without saying goodbye after fixing the main road.]
He must've finished it while we was asleep.
He's...gone?
Well, we wouldn't want him to miss that race of his, would we?
Sheriff [angrily]
No, I'm HAPPY! I don't have to watch him every second of the day anymore! I'm glad he's gone!
Red
[speeds away crying, upset at Lightning's apparent departure]
[completely oblivious to Lightning's presence, while everyone gasps]
Oh, he's just sad 'cause you left town and gone off to that big race to win your Piston Cup that you always dreamed of an' get that big fancy sponsorship you was talkin' about. [long pause] Wait a minute! I knew you wouldn't leave without sayin' goodbye! [Everyone laughs]
An exclusive animated short included in the Cars DVD.
[sound of oil can falling off]
He he, it sure is a nice n-i-g-h-t. [draws Lightning's attention to a Mater-shaped stack of cans with a tow cable at the back]
[chuckles]
I sure hope Mater isn't anywhere trying to scare me, because I'll freak out. [Mater jumps down off roof and scares Lightning] AHHHH! [crashes into stack of cans to reveal Tow Mater sign]
Sheriff Mater! [other cars give way to reveal Sheriff] Don't mock the Ghostlight.
What is the Ghostlight anyway?
Sheriff [Everyone (except Sheriff) gasps and a record scratches in the background]
The Ghostlight is a glowing orb of blue translusive light, that haunts these very parts.
Ah, don't be too scared buddy, it ain't real.
Sheriff IT IS REAL! [Suspense music plays] It all started on a night like tonight. The songdogs were wailing at the moon off Cadilac range, while the summer winds grew hot. A young couple was headed down this very stretch of Mother Road, when they spotted an unnatural blue glow. And all that was left were two out-of-state license plates. So remember: the one thing that angers the Ghostlight more than anything else, is the sound of clanking metal. [suspense music pauses as Mater is seen trembling with fear.] As you head home tonight, keep an eye out. The Ghostlight could be anywhere... [suspense music climax and ends] Well goodnight! [drives off]
Woo, I'm bushed! Goodnight. [drives off]
Everybody else
Goodnight. [they drives off to their places, leaving Mater all alone in the dark.]
Uh, g'night... [lights go out at Flo's V8]
THE GHOSTLIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
[At the end of a long chase]
Ghostlight...gonna strip my parts...sell em on the computer auction website...
Sheriff [The rest of the Radiator Springs folks have told Mater that they just played a prank on him the same way he did to them.]
You see son, the only thing to be scared about around here is your own imagination.
Yup, that...and the Screamin' Banshee...Well goodnight! [drives off, followed by everyone else, leaving Mater once again in the dark]
[to the Screamin' Banshee]
You better run, they say there's a Banshee out there tonight, but I ain't seen 'im yet. G'night. [drives off]
Screamin' Banshee
[flabbergasted]
Huh?
This here is Bessie, finest Road-Paving Machine ever built. [to McQueen] I'm hereby sentencing you to community service. You're gonna fix the road under my supervision.
[whispers to Lightning]
Hey, I know this may be a bad time right now, but you owe me $32,000 in legal fees.
What?
So we're gonna hitch you up to sweet Bessie, and you're gonna pull her nice.
You've gotta be kidding me.
You start there where the road begins, [they drive to where the road begins from the courthouse and looks at the damaged road] you finish down there where the road ends.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! How long is this gonna take?
Well, fella does it right, should take him about five days.
Five days?! But I should be in California schmoozing Dinoco right now!
Then if I were you, I'd quit yapping and start working! Hook him up, Mater.
Okey-dokey.
[Mater tries to get McQueen's parking boot off while watching him do that. Mater groaning. Finally, McQueen's boot comes off. Suddenly, he quickly drives away and into the distance.]
FREEDOM!
[Doc Hudson glares at him; awkward]
... Maybe I should've... hooked him up to Bessie and then... then took the boot off.
[driving away from Radiator Springs]
Woo-hoo! Goodbye Radiator Springs, and goodbye Bessie! California, here I come! [Continues speeding away] Oh feel that wind... Yes! [Engine begins to sputter] No... no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no! Out of gas?! How could I be out of gas?! [Stops right in front of the Sheriff and Sally Carrera]
Sheriff [Chuckles]
Boy, we ain't as dumb as you think we are.
Bu-bu-but... but hhhhow did-?
We siphoned your gas while you were passed out. Kachow! [Does Lightning's bid maneuver]
Ow, ow, ow, ow! [Sheriff chuckles and Lightning huffs in defeat]
[After Lightning causes a sloppy and bumpy new road; Mater is excited about it.]
WHEE-HOO!! I'm the first one on the new road! Uh, oh—— [drives onto the road, and vibrates as he moves over the bumpy tar, and several objects fall off him] It rides purty smooth. [continues vibrating]
Well, it matches the rest of the town.
Oh! [Red sadly frowns and drives off, crying] Red?
[Red continues crying, and disappears as he drives around the impound, knocking over a pile of tires. Sally then turns to McQueen.]
Who do you think you are?
[strictly; enters]
The deal was you fix the road. Not make it worse. Now, scrape it off! Start over again.
Hey, look, grandpa, I'm not a bulldozer. I'm a race car.
Oh, ho, ho! Is that right? Then why don't we just have a little race? Me and you.
What?
If you win, you go, and I fix the road. If I win, you do the road my way.
Sheriff Doc, what are you doing?
[laughs]
I don't mean to be rude here, Doc, but you probably go (from) 0-60 in like what? 3.5 years?
Then I reckon you ain't got nothin' to worry about.
You know what, old timer? That's a wonderful idea. Let's race.
[As Lightning is racing around Willy's Butte alone, Doc arrives to see Sheriff watching him.]
Sheriff! Is he makin' another run for it?
Sheriff No, no. He ran outta asphalt in the middle of the night, asked me if he could come down here. All he's trying to do is make that there turn.
[slides off the track and onto the dirt]
NO NO NO NO!! Aw, great! [Doc laughs and drives back onto the track] Perfect turns on every track I've ever raced on.
[looks at Sheriff]
Sheriff, why don't you get yourself a quart of oil at Flo's. I'll keep an eye on him.
Sheriff [becomes joyfully]
Well, thanks, Doc! I've been feeling a quart low. [leaves]
[His engine revving as he still tries to make the final turn. But again, he slides off the track onto the dirt. McQueen slides towards the camera, screaming, and dust fills the screen. When it clears, McQueen has a tumbleweed on his head. He spits some dust out. Doc then appears in front of him as he moves the tumbleweed off.]
This ain't asphalt, son, this is dirt.
Oh, great. What do you want? You here to gloat?
You don't have three-wheel brakes, so you got to pitch it hard, break it loose and then just drive it with the throttle. Give it too much, you'll be outta the dirt and into the tulips.
So you're a judge, a doctor and a racing expert.
I'll put it simple. If you goin' hard enough left, you'll find yourself turnin' right.
Ooh, right, that makes perfect sense. Turn right to go left! Yes! Thank you! Or should I say, "No thank you"? [mockingly] Because in Opposite World, maybe that really means, "Thank you"! [drives off, to himself] Crazy grandpa car. What an idiot!
[Doc groans, as he leaves Willy's Butte. Lightning looks back at Doc driving back to Radiator Springs.]
"Turn right to go left". Hmm. [He thinks about it before he tries itː he moves his front wheels right, but he then suddenly goes right.] AH! [falls and crashes on cactuses] Whoa! OW! Oh, that-- [a saguaro cactus falls and crashes on top of him] OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!
Sheriff [off-screen]
Mater?! [enters] I need you to watch the prisoner tonight.
Well, dad gum! [realizes] Wait a minute. What if he tries to run again?
Sheriff Just let him run outta gas and tow him on back, but keep an eye on him.
Yes, sir! [closes one eye, and keeps the other open, Sheriff groans and leaves]
[The folks of Radiator Springs (except Doc) are sad that Lightning McQueen left without saying goodbye after fixing the main road.]
He's done? He must've finished it while we were all sleepin'.
Good riddance. [turns around and drives off]
He's gone?
Well, we wouldn't want him to miss that race of his. [Sally drives off sadly.]
Sheriff [feigning anger in denial]
No, I'm happy! I don't have to watch him every second of the day anymore! I'm glad he's gone! [Red speeds away sobbing, upset at the Sheriff's remarks and knocks down a stack of tires like last time.]
[completely oblivious to Lightning's presence, while everyone gasps]
Oh, he's just sad 'cause you left town and went to your big race to win the Piston Cup that you always dreamed about your whole life, and get that big ol' sponsor, and that fancy helicopter you was talkin' about. [gasps] Wait a minute! [everyone (except Sheriff) laughs] I knowed you wouldn't leave without saying goodbye!
Sheriff What're you doin' here, son? You're gonna miss your race! Don't worry- I'll give you a police escort and we'll make up the time.
Thanks, Sheriff, but I don't think I'm ready to leave just yet.
Sheriff Well- why not?
I'm not sure if these- tires- can get me all the way to California.
Other characters in Cars
Lightning McQueen
Owen Wilson
Mater
Larry the Cable Guy
Doc Hudson
Paul Newman
Sally Carrera
Bonnie Hunt
Fillmore
George Carlin
Chick Hicks
Michael Keaton
Sarge
Paul Dooley
Luigi
Tony Shalhoub
Ramone
Cheech Marin
Darrell Cartrip
Darrell Waltrip
Flo
Jenifer Lewis
Harv
Jeremy Piven
Mack
John Ratzenberger
Dedication
