Carnage (2011) quotes

View Quote Alan Cowan: Nancy, it's absurd to drink in your condition.
Nancy Cowan: What condition?

View Quote Michael Longstreet: I was wondering — and I know this is isn't important — but do you know what they were arguing about? Ethan won't say a word.
Nancy Cowan: Ethan wouldn't let Zachary be a part of his gang.
Penelope Longstreet: [horrified] Ethan has a gang?
Alec Cowan: And he called him a snitch.
Penelope Longstreet: [to Michael] Did you know Ethan had a gang?
Michael Longstreet: No, but I'm thrilled to hear it!

View Quote Michael Longstreet: Penelope, what happened to your sense of humor?
Penelope Longstreet: I don't have a sense of humor, and I don't want one!

View Quote Nancy Cowan: [reaching for the scotch bottle] Let's get out of here, Alan. These people are monsters.
Alan Cowan: Stop it, Nancy.
Nancy Cowan: No, no, no. I want to drink some more. I- I wanna get drunk off my ass! This- this bitch throws my bag against the ceiling, nobody lifts a finger. I wanna be blind drunk.
Alan Cowan: You're drunk enough.
Nancy Cowan: How can you let her call our son a criminal? We come over here to work things out with them and they, they insult us, they browbeat us, they lecture us about being good citizens of the world! I am glad our son kicked the shit out of your son and I wipe my ass with your human rights!
Michael Longstreet: Wow! Get a couple of drinks in her and BAM!, her true self comes out.

View Quote Nancy Cowan: At least our kid isn't a little wimpy-ass ****!
Penelope Longstreet: Yours is a **** SNITCH!

View Quote [to Penelope] I saw your friend Jane Fonda on TV the other day. It made me want to go out and buy a Ku Klux Klan poster.

View Quote I've got a John Wayne idea of manhood, too. What is it he had? A Colt .45. Something that empties a room. Any man that doesn't have those loner vibes just doesn't come off as having any substance.

View Quote Keep on stroking your own ego. It's beautiful.

View Quote Morally, you're supposed to overcome your impulses, but there are times you don't want to overcome them.

View Quote Penelope, I believe in the god of carnage. The god whose rule has been unchallenged since time immemorial.