Susan Vance There is a leopard on your roof and it's my leopard and I have to get it and to get it I have to sing.
2nd most-quoted character in Bringing Up Baby (1938): in 21 of its 36 quotes
Most scenes with: Dr. David Huxley (13), Dr. Fritz Lehman (2)
The point is I have a leopard. The question is, 'What am I gonna do with it?'
More lines from Susan Vance
4 quotes Susan Vance Susan Vance [limping after losing a heel]
I was born on the side of a hill!
Susan Vance [reading from letter about Baby]
"He's three years old, gentle as a kitten, and likes dogs." I wonder whether Mark means that he eats dogs or is fond of them?
Susan Vance [to David]
If you had an aunt who would give you a million dollars if she liked you and you knew she wouldn't like you if she found a leopard in your apartment, what would you do?
Scenes with Susan Vance
16 scenes
Well, I might have known you were here. I had a feeling just as I hit the floor.
Susan That was your hat.
...We've passed this one six times in the last hour.
Susan Oh, but David, it was such a lovely night for a drive.
Susan [hurt]
You mean you want me to go home?
Yes.
Susan You mean you don't want me to help you any more?
Yes.
Susan After all the fun we've had?
Yes.
Susan [indignantly]
And after all the things I've done for you?
That's what I mean.
Susan [Despite David's attempts to convinvce her otherwise, Susan has just played his golfball.]
You shouldn't do that, you know.
What shouldn't I do?
Susan Talk while someone's shooting. Well anyway, I forgive you because I got a good shot.
But you don't understand.
Susan See, there it is right next to the pin.
But that has nothing to do with it.
Susan Oh, are you playing too?
No, I've just driven off the first tee and I hooked—
Susan I see you're a stranger here. You should be over there. This is the 18th fairway and I'm right on the green.
What kind of ball are you playing?
Susan PGA.
And I'm playing a Pro-Flight.
Susan I like a PGA better.
No, I'm just trying to prove to you that you're playing my ball. You see, a PGA has two black dots and a Pro-Flight has a circle.
Susan I'm not superstitious about things like that.
Oh well, that doesn't have anything to do with it.
Susan Stop talking for a minute, will you please? [To caddy] Will you take out the pin? [She sinks a 25-foot putt!]
Oh my, this is so silly. I never saw such — [He reaches for the ball in the cup] There, you see, it's a circle.
Susan Well of course it is. Do you think it would run if it were square?
No. I have reference to a mark on the ball. That proves it's a Pro-Flight—
Susan I know.
—and that's my ball!
Susan Well, what does it matter? It's only a game anyway.
Well, my dear young lady, you don't seem to realize. You placed me in a very embarrassing position... The most important corporation lawyer in New York is waiting for me over on the first fairway.
Susan Then it's silly of you to be fooling around on the 18th green.
You may have heard me lecture... I usually talk about nervous disorders. I am a psychiatrist.
Susan Oh! Crazy people.
We dislike the use of that word. All people who behave strangely are not insane...
Susan What would you say about a man who follows a girl around...
Follows her around...
Susan And then when she talks to him he fights with her?
Fights with you... Is the young man your fiancee?
Susan Oh no, I don't know him. I never even saw him before today. [Blithely] No, he just follows me around and fights with me.
Well, the love impulse in men very frequently reveals itself in terms of conflict.
Susan The love impulse!
Without my knowing anything about it, my rough guess would be that he has a fixation on you.
Susan Do you know why you're following me? You're a fixation.
Oh, I'm not following you. I've been sitting here. I haven't moved from this spot. Now please, you're following me.
Susan Oh, don't be absurd. Who's always behind whom?
Now look, my dear young lady. I haven't been behind anything but what they call the, uh, uh eight-ball. I haven't been all day.
Susan You're angry, aren't you?
Yes I am.
Susan Um, hmm. 'The love impulse in men frequently reveals itself in terms of conflict.'
Susan Well, don't you worry, David, because if there's anything that I can do to help you, just let me know and I'll do it.
Susan You mean, this is your car?
Of course.
Susan Your golf ball? Your car? Is there anything in the world that doesn't belong to you?
Yes, thank heaven — you!
Susan Now, don't lose your temper.
My dear young lady, I'm not losing my temper. I'm merely trying to play some golf.
Susan Well, you choose the funniest places. This is a parking lot.
Will you get out of my car?
Susan Will you get off my running board?
This is my running board!
Susan [Susan and David are in jail]
Anyway, David, when they find out who we are they'll let us out.
When they find out who you are they'll pad the cell.
[David discovers the leopard in Susan's bathroom]
Susan, you've got to get out of this apartment!
Susan I can't, I have a lease.
Now, don't lose your head.
Susan I've got my head, I've lost my leopard!
Susan, is there any way to cross this stream?
Susan Oh, surely it's shallow. We can wade across.
Susan The riverbeds change!
Susan [Susan is accosted by a psychiatrist convinced she's crazy]
You don't seem to understand that there's a million dollars at stake.
A million dollars?
Susan Yes.
[pointing into the house]
Well, you will get it. I have it right in there. All in one dollar bills.
Susan Hey, Flatfoot! You ain't gettin' no place. Come here.
Constable
Me?
Susan: Yes you. Come on. Haul it over. Haul it over. You want someone to talk, don't ya?
Constable
Well, it's about time. I certainly do.
Susan Get me out of this cooler and I'll unbutton my puss and shoot the works.
Constable
Say, hold on, lady...Hey, you ain't no lady.
Susan Yeah, I kinda had you fooled for a minute, didn't I?
Constable
You sure did.
Susan I could make a sucker out of a copper. What did I tell ya my name was?
Constable
Why, your name is, uh...Susan Vance.
Susan Vance, Kitty Vance — that's my society moniker. But the mob all calls me Swingin' Door Susie...Now ya pegged me. Come on, Toots. Open up, open up.
Constable
Stop that, stop that. I'm not openin' any doors around here until you promise to talk.
Susan Listen, I'll talk. I'll talk so much it'll make your hair curl.
Susan Oh, David, can you ever forgive me?
I... I... I...
Susan You can! And you still love me.
Susan, that... that...
Susan You do. Oh, David.
Oh, dear. Oh, my.
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