I really like your earrings.
M1 Man 1
There's the thief. There's the thief.
M2 Man 2
That little girl took my watch.
Where the ****'s the diamond? I just **** had it.
...
[Voiceover]
In the storytelling business, this dummy swallowing that diamond is called a complication. A complication I didn't exactly need right now. [Multiple police officers approaching her cornered in an alleyway] Parley?
...
RS Roman Sionis
[Receiving botox injections]
What?!
We're really sorry, Mr. S. This kid...
We never even got our hands on it.
BI Botox injectionist
[Roman grabs his hand tightly and swipes it away]
Ow! Help!
RS Roman Sionis
Get out! Get out of here! [To woman burning sage] You, too! Go! With your **** sage stinking my place up. **** off!
Here she is. [Hands over a police perp profile paper]
RS Roman Sionis
[Holds up paper]
She's a child!
She's just a kid. She's... [To subordinate] What?!
S Subordinate
We have Harley Quinn downstairs, as requested.
RS Roman Sionis
[Crumples up and throws paper]
**** off! Get out! [Throws pillow on floor] **** out! ****! These are my things! This diamond is my things!
RS Roman Sionis
My things! [Throws pillow] **** ****! I don't ask for much, do I?!
RS Roman Sionis
Why is this happening to me?! Why?!
[Restraining Roman]
I'm gonna get your diamond back. I promise. Why don't we go downstairs and kill that Harley bitch? Blow off a little steam.
RS Roman Sionis
Yeah, I have wanted to do that for quite some time. Okay. I'll go get changed. [Walks off]
["Some Frida Khalo-looking asshole" fires shot at Harley's vehicle waking up Casandra]
Whoa.
Oh, good. You're awake. Toss that for me, will ya? [Hands ignited dynamite stick to Cassandra who throws it out of vehicle window which detonates the pursuer's vehicle]
What the ****?! Who did I just blow up?!
Either someone who wants me dead, or someone looking to collect the half-million dollar reward on your head.
Do I look like I'm worth half a million dollars?!
You've got the wrong kid! Now, uncuff me!
Oh, sure. As soon as you give me the diamond.
What diamond?! [Harley steers sharply onto an adjacent street jumping a curb nearly missing a pedestrian and stops]
What?! I don't know nothing about no diamond!
The inflection in your voice, the way you can't hold eye contact, and the fact that you're a filthy little thief, all suggest that you do. Now, you can give it to me, or I can give you to the man that diamond belongs to. But trust me when I say, you're not gonna like what he's gonna do to ya. Now, hand it over!
Mr. S said for me to hold on to it.
[Voiceover]
That rock. That rock's about to become the key to whether or not I live to enjoy my newfound independence.
[Thwarts Cassandra's pickpocketing attempt at her vehicle]
Get off me. What the hell are you doing here?!
You're not the only one who makes money off of dumb, rich, white people!
Well, you know what? One day you're gonna pick the wrong pocket, sis.
Okay. Whatever. [Walks across street]
[Reading newspaper at table to Roman]
The Sprang Bridge Soldiers capituated.
"Capitulated." Of course they did. I told you that Keo scene would send a message.
It sure did, boss. It sure **** did. Crossbow killer struck again last night. Rossi and four of his guys.
People don't kill people I own without my permission. Why doesn't this crossbow guy know that? You know that!
I know it. [Gets up to rub Roman's shoulders]
Why doesn't this crossbow guy? Why don't I own the crossbow guy?
I mean, I like crossbows. [Dinah enters loft apartment] Oh, good morning. Good morning. Morning. Come in. Come in. We're just finishing up a little business. Look around.
Should she come back another time, 'cause she's late?
No. Isn't this stunning? [To Dinah observing African tribal mask] That is a Chokwe mask. I got it when I was embedded with the Mbangani tribe in Congo-Kinshasa. Have you ever been?
I've never been. I've heard it's beautiful.
Oh... [Roman puts arms around Dinah and leads her aside]
Here, look at this. Genuine tsantsa or shrunken head. Shuar of Ecuador. They're amazing people. Surprisingly gentle. I think you might like them.
They boil the heads of their enemies and they make these little fellas. Exquisite, aren't they? Look.
Look at those little ears. And his little haircut.
Yeah, he's 1,000 years old.
And now he's just an ornament in my living room. Ew!
Yeah? These are ancient acupuncture models. As you can see, they have all the acupuncture points. And we found these buried in the mountains.
Ace Chemicals got blown sky high last night!
All right, all right, let's find the Crossbow killer! I get it!
[Referring to statue]
Is he an acupuncture model, too?
He is not an acupuncture model. This is a statue of me. It was made by a very famous Gotham artist...
Harley Quinn did it. Some kind of "**** you" to the Joker. They split.
What's wrong with you, Victor? Talk about burying the lede.
This is spectacular news! [Walks to Victor and whispers] She doesn't belong to him, she belongs to me. Have the boys go find her. Round her up, bring her back. I want her. [To Dinah] You, I have something I want you to pick me up. Something super-duper important, okay?
Yeah, go with Victor. It's just a pickup. No, he's harmless. Do as you're told. Go.
DM Distant man
[Dinah Lance walks into apartment complex coming across Cassandra sitting on steps looking dejected]
You're the one who wanted the kid! I never wanted her!
Sorry about your face. Shit, you do have something on your face.
You should've seen the other guy. Uh...
DM Distant man
I want that kid out of my **** house!
You know, kid, not every day is gonna be like this. You just gotta hang in there. [Puts dollar bill on stairway railing post] Get something to eat. Stay outta that. It's not worth it.
DM Distant man
Don't talk to me like that!
...
Canary spends the next week settling in to her new job as Roman's personal driver.
[Walks to vehicle in fish market]
Ew. Okay.
What she didn't know is that driving Mr. Face-peely-pants was gonna put her right in the crosshairs of my favorite little piggy.
...
Renee Montoya [Approaches Dinah leaving apartment]
Dinah Lance?
Renee Montoya I'm Renee Montoya, detective with GCPD. Your predecessor and I had an arrangement.
Renee Montoya He told me that there was a shipment coming in. A diamond. A very special diamond.
Yeah, not interested, lady. Thanks for the coffee. [Starts walking down hallway]
Renee Montoya Do you know who you're working for?
Damn right, I do. He's the man who gave me a job. Took me off the streets. [Starts walking down stairs]
Renee Montoya Yeah, well, he's also a very dangerous man. A criminal. A murderer. What would your mother think of you working for a guy like that, huh? You have the same power she had. Don't you think she would want you to use it?
[Turns and walks back up stairs]
The hell do you know about my mother?
Renee Montoya Back in the day, she used to help the GCPD. She was a good woman.
Yeah. She was a damn good woman. The kind of woman who put everyone else's lives before her own. And when she was found dead in the street, where the **** were you and your boys in blue then? Now you wanna come and knock on my door and ask me to help you out and make the same mistake she did? Yeah. Good luck with that.
Renee Montoya That's fair enough. And I'm sorry for your loss. For the record, that would never happen on my watch.
BC Black Canary
Hey, nice. What the hell is up with this bow and arrow shtick?
Huntress It's not a **** bow and arrow, it's a crossbow! I'm not twelve!
BC Black Canary
[chuckling]
I love this chick, she's got rage issues.
Huntress I DON'T HAVE RAGE ISSUES--!
Y'know... psychologically speaking, vengeance rarely brings the catharsis we hope for.
Number one, no one is like me. If you wanted to even come close, you would have to go to medical school. Become a psychiatrist, work in an asylum. Fall in love with your patient, break said patient out of said asylum. Begin a life of crime. Jump into a vat of chemicals to prove yourself to a madman. Get arrested by the Batman. Go back to jail, get out of jail with a bomb on your neck. Save the world, go back to jail, and break out of jail before breaking up with the before mentioned madman and going out on your own. Number two... Six bucks for tap water with a **** cucumber stick in it? That's crazy. I'm not shopping at this store. I'm robbing this store. Consider this your first lesson. Paying is for dummies.
