As Good as It Gets quotes

View Quote As long as you keep your work zipped up around me, I don't give a rat-crap when or where you shove your show. Are we done being neighbors for now?

View Quote Never interrupt me, okay? Not if there's a fire, not even if you hear the sound of a thud from my home, and one week later there's a smell coming from there that can only be a decaying human body, and you have to hold a hanky to your face because the stench is so thick that you think you're gonna faint. Even then, don't come knocking. Or, if it's election night, and you're excited and you wanna celebrate because some fudge-packer that you date has been elected the first **** president of the United States and he's going to have you down to Camp David. And you want someone to share the moment with. Even then, don't knock, not on this door. Not for ANY reason. Do you get me, sweetheart?

View Quote I like Simon! And I like him enough to batter you unrecognizable if you verbally abuse him, or so much as touch that dog again. In the meantime, I'm gonna try to think of some way you can make it up to him. I hate doin' this! I'm an art dealer! Have a nice day.

View Quote [To Melvin] Come on in, and try not to ruin everything by being you.

View Quote I can't do this without you. I'm afraid he might pull the stiff one-eye on me.

View Quote Life is pain management

View Quote What if this is as good as it gets?

View Quote You think you can intimidate the whole world with your attitude but you don't intimidate me. I grew up in hell, home boy! My grandmother had more attitude!

View Quote The best thing you have going for you is your willingness to humiliate yourself.

View Quote I'm drowning here, and you're describing the water!

View Quote Quit worrying. You'll be back on your knees in no time.

View Quote I'm losing my apartment, Melvin. And Frank, he wants me to beg my parents, who haven't called me, for help. And I won't. And... I don't want to paint any more! So the life that I was trying for, is over. The life that I had is gone, and I'm feeling so damn sorry for myself that it's difficult to breathe.

View Quote If you ever mention my son again, you will never be able to eat here again. Do you understand? Give me some sign you understand, or leave now. Do you understand me, you crazy ****!

View Quote You're a disgrace to depression.

View Quote I want your life for one minute where my biggest problem is someone offering me a free convertible so I can get outta this city.