Brandon Vandecamp quotes from American Pie Presents: Band Camp (2005)

View Quote Brandon's friend 1: Are you a rookie? You look lost.
Matt Stifler: Are you an asshole? You're hairy and you smell like shit!
Brandon Vandecamp: I'll, uh... I'll ignore that kind of talk. Once. We don't speak that way here. Rookies are to wear their beanies at all times. Those are the rules.
Matt Stiffler: And who made you the Mayor of Geektown?
Brandon Vandecamp: I'm Brandon Vandecamp. Senior Drum Major of Beechwood Academy, and the President of the Tall Oaks Council.
Matt Stifler: Oh? And who are they, Mr. President? The First Lady and Vice Pussy?
[Brandon places Matt's beanie on the end of his drum staff, and puts the beanie on Matt's head.]
Brandon Vandecamp: Suits you well.
Matt Stifler: [Sarcastic] Golly jeepers, thanks. And hey! Since I'm an official band geek and all, can you guess what my favorite piece of music is?
Brandon Vandecamp: I have no idea.
Matt Stifler: The nutcracker.

View Quote Matt Stifler: Look, I wanna know all the stuff that goes on at night here. Naked pillow fights, whatever!
Ernie Kaplowitz: Do I look like the guy in charge of the naked pillow fights? Huh? This is my first year here. You see the beanie?
[Brandon Vandecamp and Mr. Nelson enter the mess hall]
Brandon Vandecamp: Yes. Yes, I do. But where's yours, Stifler? Let's see- no standard issue t-shirt and no beanie. I believe that's two points from Great Falls, Mr. Nelson!
Matt Stifler: Tell you what, Vandercramp. How about I take his beanie [takes Ernie's beanie] and put it on my weenie? [Stuffs the beanie down his pants] How's that, Vandercramp? It's on my head, right?
[Brandon rolls his eyes and looks at Mr. Nelson]
Mr. Nelson: Make it five points from Great Falls!

View Quote [Elyse has accidentally hit Matt with a trumpet, causing Matt to bite his tongue; Brandon walks over to them.]
Brandon Vandecamp: In today's episode: wasting time on lost causes. Speaking of which, I understand you composed the music to your show, Elyse. If you... call that music.
Elyse: Yeah, that's right. I did. And who'd your daddy hire to compose yours?
Brandon Vandecamp: I'm just giving you fair warning, cupcake. The Robard's Scholarship- is mine.
Elyse: Like you need it.
Brandon Vandecamp: Oh, it's not a matter of need, it's a matter of want. Yeah... I get what I want.
Matt Stifler: Why don't you shut the fu' uhh?
Brandon Vandecamp: [Amused] Oh, what're you gonna do?
Matt Stifler: Kick your ath!
Brandon Vandecamp: Are you challenging me?
[Matt argues yes while Elyse argues no; Brandon turns to Mr. Nelson and the Beechwood Academy band practicing in the background]
Brandon Vandecamp: It's been three years since I've been challenged!
[Knowing what the challenge means, Mr. Nelson and the band cheer; Brandon looks back to Elyse and Matt.]
Brandon Vandecamp: I look forward to reminding people why.