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Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day quotes

6 total quotes

Ben Cooper


View Quote Alexander: Good morning.
Emily: Speak for yourself.
View Quote Anthony: Mom, do you mind?... Please.
Kelly: What? Because of this morning? It's not the first time I've seen your penis, Anthony!
Emily: Mom saw your penis?
Kelly: Yep! I've seen yours too, Alexander. I've seen every penis in this car!
Ben: Every penis.
View Quote Anthony: YES! [jumps and hits a banner, which causes two trophy cases to fall and smash]
Teacher: Let's go, Wreck-It Ralph! Principal's office, NOW!
View Quote Ms. Suggs: Tell me something, Anthony. Are you a senior citizen?
Anthony: No, ma'am.
Ms. Suggs: Good. Then why're you driving 15 miles an hour in a 25-mile zone? C'mon, speed it up. [Anthony speeds up the minivan] That's right. That is right. Boy. Change lanes. [Anthony does so] Now, I want you to take a right up here. [Anthony turns right. Just then, his cell phone vibrates] Celia's calling.
Anthony: It's my girlfriend. Probably wants to talk prom plans. Tonight's the prom. Well, I'll just ignore that.
Ms. Suggs: Seems like she's very anxious to talk to you.
Anthony: No, no, no, I'm driving. I would never answer the phone when I'm driving. No, no matter what cir****stance.
Ms. Suggs: But, y'know, proms don't happen every day.
Anthony: That's true. You sure? It'll just be like super quick. It's not...
Ms. Suggs: What's important to you is important to me.
Anthony: [answers his phone] Hey, Celia. I can't really talk right now, but...
Ms. Suggs: Put! The phone! Down!
Anthony: [turns to Miss Suggs] What?
Ms. Suggs: [in a demanding tone] Put that mobile device down, NOW! HEY, EYES ON THE ROAD!
Anthony: [nearly hits another car and swerves off the road] AAAH!! NO, NO!!! [hits several parking meters while screaming]
Ms. Suggs: YOU'RE GONNA KILL US!! AAAAH!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! [Anthony pulls back into the DMV and stops] WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHAT ARE YOU-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU FOOL?!
Anthony: [angrily] You tricked me!
Ms. Suggs: Get outta this car. [stamps "FAIL" on the clipboard] You get out of this car!
Anthony: You're EVIL!
Ms. Suggs: You prom creep!
Ben: I don't think he passed.
Ms. Suggs: Get out! GET OUT!
[Anthony swings open the door, only to get a literal door prize from a passing Impala. The door slides right to the Coopers]
View Quote Paul Dumphy: Dude, I've been looking everywhere for you. Have you heard about Phillip Parker?
Alexander: I don't want to hear anything more about his amazing party.
Paul Dumphy: No, it's cancelled.
Alexander: What?
Paul Dumphy: Yeah, he woke up with chicken pox. He texted me this picture. These things are everywhere.
Alexander: Oh.
Paul Dumphy: They're even in his butt crack.
View Quote I still have me arms!