What kind of craziness is this?

Aw come on, Captain, it'll only take a minute, and it'll mean such a lot to the lady.

Very well, if you wish it absolutely. What are the names again?

Charles.

Rosie. Rose.

Do you, Charles, take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?

Yes, sir.

Do you, Rose, take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?

I do.

By the authority vested in me by Kaiser Wilhelm II, I pronounce you man and wife. Proceed with the execution.