Tom quotes

View Quote People don't realize this, but loneliness is underrated.

View Quote Darling. I don't know how to tell you this, but there's a Chinese family in our bathroom.

View Quote Why make something disposable like a building when you can make something that lasts forever, like a greeting card.

View Quote You never wanted to be anybody's girlfriend, and now you're someone's wife?

View Quote Either she's an evil, emotionless, miserable human being, or... she's a robot.

View Quote I need to know that you're not gonna wake up tomorrow morning and feel differently.

View Quote Roses are reds Violets are Blue, **** You Whore!

View Quote Well this is, and Rhoda, no disrespect, but um, this is total shit. "Go for it?" "You can do it?" That's not inspirational, that's suicidal! If Pickles goes for it right there that's a dead cat. Lies, we're liars think about it, why do people buy these things? It's not because they wanna say how they feel. People buy cards 'cause they can't say how they feel or they're afraid to. We provide the service that lets them off the hook. You know what? I say to hell with it. Let's level with America. At least let them speak for themselves, right? I mean look, look. What is this, what does this say? "Congratulations on your new baby." How 'bout "Congratulations on your new baby, guess that's it for hanging out, nice knowing ya." How 'bout this one? With all the pretty hearts on the front, I think I know where this one's going. Yup. "Happy Valentine's Day sweetheart, I love you." Isn't that sweet? Ain't love grand? This is exactly what I'm talking about. What does that even mean, love? Do you know? Do you? Anybody? If somebody gave me this card Mr. Vance, I'd eat it. It's these cards, and the movies and the pop songs, they're to blame for all the lies and the heartache, everything. We're responsible. I'M responsible. I think we do a bad thing here. People should be able to say how they feel, how they really feel, not ya know, some words that some stranger put in their mouth. Words like love, that don't mean anything. Sorry, I'm sorry, I um, I quit. There's enough bullshit in the world without my help.