Gerhardt [shouts]
Oh my God! Look at my package!
Played by Alan Tudyk 
28 Days (2000) · 81 quotes
28 Days (2000) · 81 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in 28 Days (2000): in 13 of its 81 quotes
Most scenes with: Gwen Cummings (4), Oliver (2), Roshanda (2)
I have a question. Once we all leave, we have needs that are going to need to be filled... by people... physically... at times. How and when can we do that? Not how, just when?
More lines from Gerhardt
5 quotes Gerhardt Gerhardt There's a time when you can share and you hold hands and be on the same path. But there's always a fork in the road... at some point. And sometimes you have to go on one part of the fork and they gotta go on the other part of the fork. [Sigh] Or just down the back part of the fork while you go forward. And they're like [Sigh] Or they got a salad fork and you have one of the big dinner forks and you have longer to go but they're like done because that's it, they're stuck on a piece of food, that they [Sigh]. Their desert fork or like one of those, you know small little shrimp forks or crab forks and you're trying to get out a crab. They're like that and you're over here jumping to the huge serving fork or something like that, or a ladle, you know. [Sigh]
Gerhardt Eddie, you surprise me.
Gerhardt Oh. I killed the plant.
Gerhardt What are you doing here? It's so good to see you! [Sobs]
Scenes with Gerhardt
7 scenes
I'm thinking booze.
Gerhardt Cocaine
Painkillers.
Bobbie Jean This is not a nice game.
Well?
Well what?
What's your drug of choice? Alcohol, Cocaine, Percodan, Heroin, Glue?
I have to pick just one?
Believe it or not, I can make this decision on my own, okay? I don't need your help.
Gerhardt That's not what your neck sign says.
Oh, forget what my neck sign says!
Bobbie Jean Oh! I got and eyelash. Make a wish.
Gerhardt Sobriety
Oh, come on baby, we all want that. Think of something else.
Gerhardt My foreskin back. No one asked me before they took it. They just took it.
Way to share, Gerhardt, way to share.
Daniel as Announcer
And now, Santa Booze
Oh Falcon, I'm so afraid. When they find I've taken you out of the hospital, mother and Dr. Griffin Hartley are sure to come here. What will we do?
Gerhardt as Falcon [Gerhardt pulls Gwen across his hospital bed]
If I can't be without you-
Gerhardt as Falcon It I can't be with you, I would rather be dead.
Gerhardt as Falcon [They kiss passionately. Gerhardt pushes her away]
Oh, but dear God, the tiny clusters of tumors in my brain!
Oh God, the tiny little clusters of tumors in his brain, somebody help! Oh, God!
Bobbie Jean as Deirdre
Falcon, Darien, your lover, is also your sister!
Gerhardt as Falcon No!
Gerhardt as Falcon It is not possible!
Oliver as Dr. Griffin
Deirdre, darling, I have some bad news. Your daughter, Darien, Falcon's lover and sister is also carrying my baby.
Bobbie Jean as Deirdre
No!
Gerhardt as Falcon No!
Gerhardt as Falcon Oh, but, no! My tumors!
Oliver as Dr. Griffin
It's the, uh, melio-- meli--
Daniel Melagioma Nestocytroma
Oliver as Dr. Griffin
Well, whatever. Look, there's nothing I can do. [Gerhardt grabs his collar] What-- what are you doing?
Gerhardt as Falcon It says in the script that we're supposed to kiss.
Oliver as Dr. Griffin
Uh, Andrea, I like ya. Bon voyage. I'm not kissing Gerhardt.
Shop Owner Sir, I can't replace the plant just because you killed it.
Gerhardt I did not kill this plant, it was sick or something. I gave it everything. I was talking to it, telling it stories. I drew a sketch of it, and put it on my refrigerator.
Shop Owner Did you water it?
Gerhardt I-- I have-- It's important that I did not kill this plant, you understand? So if you're just saying that because that's how you're making your excuse, you have got to understand-- You can't mess with-- I'm never gonna get laid. [Sobs] You obviously don't care. And that's one thing I do, is care. I feel sorry for all the plants in here. I'm going home.
