Who Framed Roger Rabbit quotes

View Quote Judge Doom: Several months ago I had the good providence to stumble upon this plan of the city council's. A construction plan of epic proportions. They're calling it a freeway.
Eddie Valiant: Freeway? What the hell's a freeway?
Judge Doom: Eight lanes of shimmering cement running from here to Pasadena. Smooth, safe, fast. Traffic jams will be a thing of the past.
Eddie Valiant: So that's why you killed Acme and Maroon? For this freeway? I don't get it.
Judge Doom: Of course not. You lack vision. I see a place where people get on and off the freeway. On and off, off and on all day, all night. Soon, where Toontown once stood will be a string of gas stations, inexpensive motels, restaurants that serve rapidly prepared food. Tire salons, automobile dealerships and wonderful, wonderful billboards reaching as far as the eye can see. My God, it'll be beautiful.
Eddie Valiant: Come on! Nobody's going to drive this lousy freeway when they can take the Red Car for a nickel.
Judge Doom: Oh, they'll drive. They'll have to. You see, I bought the Red Car so I could dismantle it.

View Quote Raoul J. Raoul: Cut!
Cameraman: All right. That's it, Jack!
Raoul J. Raoul: Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut!
Baby Herman: What the hell was wrong with that take?!
Raoul J. Raoul: Nothing with you, Baby Herman. You were great. You were perfect. You were better than perfect! It's just Roger, he keeps blowing his lines! Roger, what is this?
Roger Rabbit: A tweeting bird?
Raoul J. Raoul: "A tweeting bird?!" Roger, read this script! Look what it says. It says, "Rabbit gets clunked, rabbit sees stars." Not birds, stars! Can we lose the playback, please! You're killing me, killing me!
Baby Herman: For crying out loud, Roger! How the hell many times we have to do this damn scene?! Raoul! I'll be in my trailer, takin' a nap! [Walks between a woman's legs]
Woman: Wooo!
Baby Herman: 'Scuse me, toots.
Raoul J. Raoul: My stomach can't take this. This is a mess, clean this set up! Get him out of there, or seal him up in it. Lose the lights! Say Lunch! That's lunch we're on a half!
Roger Rabbit: P-p-please, Raoul. I can give you stars. Just drop the refrigerator on my head one more time.
Raoul J. Raoul: Roger, I've dropped it on your head 23 times already.
Roger Rabbit: I can take it, don't worry about me.
Raoul J. Raoul: I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about the refrigerator.

View Quote Tweety Bird: Oh, look! Piggies. This little piggy went to market. This little piggy stayed home. This little piggy had roast beef. This little piggy had...
[Eddie screams as he falls down]
Tweety Bird: Uh-oh. Ran out of piggies.
[Eddie is falling; Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny, both wearing parachutes, join him]
Bugs Bunny: Eh, what's up, Doc? Jumping without a parachute? Kinda dangerous, ain't it?
Mickey Mouse: Yeah. You could get killed. Heh, heh.
Eddie Valiant: You guys got a spare?
Mickey Mouse: Uh, Bugs does.
Eddie Valiant: Yeah?
Bugs Bunny: Yeah, but I don't think you want it.
Eddie Valiant: I do, I do, give it to me.
Mickey Mouse: Gee, better let him have it, Bugs.
Bugs Bunny: Okay, Doc. Whatever you say. Here's the spare.
Eddie Valiant: Thank you.
[Mickey and Bugs deploy parachutes; Eddie pulls ripcord on parachute, car tire comes out]
Eddie Valiant: OH NO!! Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!
Mickey Mouse: Aw, poor fella.
Bugs Bunny: Yeah, ain't I a stinker?

View Quote Eddie Valiant: Weren't you the one I caught playing patty-cake with old man Acme?
Jessica Rabbit: You didn't catch me, Mr. Valiant. You were set up to take those pictures.
Eddie Valiant: What are you talking about?
Jessica Rabbit: Maroon wanted to blackmail Acme. I didn't want to have anything to do with it, but he said that if I didn't pose for those patty-cake pictures, Roger would never work in this town again. I couldn't let that happen. I'd do anything for my husband, Mr. Valiant. Anything.
[Presses her chest against Eddie's with a "thump"]
Eddie Valiant: What a wife.

View Quote Roger Rabbit: No! Not my Jessica! Not patty-cake! This is impossible! I don't believe it! It can't be! It just can't be! Jessica's my wife! It's absolutely impossible! Jessica's the love of my life. The apple of my eye. The cream in my coffee.
Eddie Valiant: Well you better start drinking it black, Acme's taking the cream now.

View Quote Smart Ass: Stop that laughing. You know what happens when you can't stop laughing? One of these days, you're gonna "die" laughing.

View Quote Droopy the Dog: [as an elevator operator] Going up, sir. [[Eddie steps in and instantly falls in] Watch your step, sir. [Eddie picks himself up] Hold on, sir. [Eddie falls to the floor of the elevator because it is going so fast; when the elevator stops, he shoots straight to the top of the elevator.] Your floor, sir. [Eddie gets out and Droopy stretches his neck out so that he and Eddie are face to face] Have a good day, sir. [Droopy's neck retracts just narrowly missing the doors closing around his neck]

View Quote Remember me, Eddie?! When I killed your brother, I TALKED JUST LIKE THAAAAAAAAAAT!!

View Quote Eddie Valiant: What's that?
Lt. Santino: Remember how they always thought there wasn't a way to kill a toon? Well, Doom found a way. Turpentine, acetone, benzene. He calls it "The Dip."
Judge Doom: I'll catch the rabbit, Mr. Valiant. And I'll try him, convict him, and execute him.
[dunks shoe in Dip, dissolving it completely]
Eddie Valiant: Geez!
Greasy: [laughs] That's one dead shoe, eh, boss?
Judge Doom: They're not kid gloves, Mr. Valiant. This is how we handle things down in Toontown.

View Quote Benny the Cab: Sister Mary Frances. What the hell happened in here? I've been a cab for thirty-seven years, and I've never seen a mess like this.

View Quote Eddie Valiant: Holy smoke, he's a Toon!
Judge Doom: Surprised?
Eddie Valiant: Not really. That lame-brain freeway idea could only be cooked up by a Toon.
Judge Doom: Not just any Toon...
(Judge Doom reinflates himself. His hat is blown away and his fake eyes fall to the floor, revealing his true, red eyes)
Judge Doom: Remember me, Eddie? (high, squeaky voice) When I killed your brother, I talked JUST... LIKE... THIS!!!!!

View Quote Betty Boop: Work's been kinda slow since cartoons went to color. But I've still got it, Eddie. Boop boop be doop, boop!

View Quote Bongo: Got the Password?
Eddie Valiant: Walt sent me.
[the door opens]
Eddie Valiant: Nice monkey suit.
Bongo: Wise ass!

View Quote C'mon, Roger. Let's go home. I'll bake ya a carrot cake [Roger chuckles...].

View Quote Eddie Valiant: You crazy rabbit! I'm out there risking my neck for you, and what are you doing? Singing and dancing!
Roger Rabbit: But I'm a toon. Toons are supposed to make people laugh.
Eddie Valiant: Sit down!
Roger Rabbit: You don't understand. Those people needed to laugh.
Eddie Valiant: Then when they're done laughing, they'll call the cops. That guy Angelo would rat on you for a nickel.
Roger Rabbit: Not Angelo. He'd never turn me in.
Eddie Valiant: Why? Because you made him laugh?
Roger Rabbit: That's right! A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have.