Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Who Framed Roger Rabbit quotes

93 total quotes (ID: 1)

Eddie Valiant
Jessica Rabbit
Judge Doom
Multiple Characters
Roger Rabbit

Tweety Bird: Oh, look! Piggies. This little piggy went to market. This little piggy stayed home. This little piggy had roast beef. This little piggy had...
[Eddie screams as he falls down]
Tweety Bird: Uh-oh. Ran out of piggies.
[Eddie is falling; Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny, both wearing parachutes, join him]
Bugs Bunny: Eh, what's up, Doc? Jumping without a parachute? Kinda dangerous, ain't it?
Mickey Mouse: Yeah. You could get killed. Heh, heh.
Eddie Valiant: You guys got a spare?
Mickey Mouse: Uh, Bugs does.
Eddie Valiant: Yeah?
Bugs Bunny: Yeah, but I don't think you want it.
Eddie Valiant: I do, I do, give it to me.
Mickey Mouse: Gee, better let him have it, Bugs.
Bugs Bunny: Okay, Doc. Whatever you say. Here's the spare.
Eddie Valiant: Thank you.
[Mickey and Bugs deploy parachutes; Eddie pulls ripcord on parachute, car tire comes out]
Eddie Valiant: OH NO!! Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!
Mickey Mouse: Aw, poor fella.
Bugs Bunny: Yeah, ain't I a stinker?

Raoul J. Raoul: Cut!
Cameraman: All right. That's it, Jack!
Raoul J. Raoul: Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut!
Baby Herman: What the hell was wrong with that take?!
Raoul J. Raoul: Nothing with you, Baby Herman. You were great. You were perfect. You were better than perfect! It's just Roger, he keeps blowing his lines! Roger, what is this?
Roger Rabbit: A tweeting bird?
Raoul J. Raoul: "A tweeting bird?!" Roger, read this script! Look what it says. It says, "Rabbit gets clunked, rabbit sees stars." Not birds, stars! Can we lose the playback, please! You're killing me, killing me!
Baby Herman: For crying out loud, Roger! How the hell many times we have to do this damn scene?! Raoul! I'll be in my trailer, takin' a nap! [Walks between a woman's legs]
Woman: Wooo!
Baby Herman: 'Scuse me, toots.
Raoul J. Raoul: My stomach can't take this. This is a mess, clean this set up! Get him out of there, or seal him up in it. Lose the lights! Say Lunch! That's lunch we're on a half!
Roger Rabbit: P-p-please, Raoul. I can give you stars. Just drop the refrigerator on my head one more time.
Raoul J. Raoul: Roger, I've dropped it on your head 23 times already.
Roger Rabbit: I can take it, don't worry about me.
Raoul J. Raoul: I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about the refrigerator.

Droopy the Dog: [as an elevator operator] Going up, sir. [[Eddie steps in and instantly falls in] Watch your step, sir. [Eddie picks himself up] Hold on, sir. [Eddie falls to the floor of the elevator because it is going so fast; when the elevator stops, he shoots straight to the top of the elevator.] Your floor, sir. [Eddie gets out and Droopy stretches his neck out so that he and Eddie are face to face] Have a good day, sir. [Droopy's neck retracts just narrowly missing the doors closing around his neck]

Judge Doom: Several months ago I had the good providence to stumble upon this plan of the city council's. A construction plan of epic proportions. They're calling it a freeway.
Eddie Valiant: Freeway? What the hell's a freeway?
Judge Doom: Eight lanes of shimmering cement running from here to Pasadena. Smooth, safe, fast. Traffic jams will be a thing of the past.
Eddie Valiant: So that's why you killed Acme and Maroon? For this freeway? I don't get it.
Judge Doom: Of course not. You lack vision. I see a place where people get on and off the freeway. On and off, off and on all day, all night. Soon, where Toontown once stood will be a string of gas stations, inexpensive motels, restaurants that serve rapidly prepared food. Tire salons, automobile dealerships and wonderful, wonderful billboards reaching as far as the eye can see. My God, it'll be beautiful.
Eddie Valiant: Come on! Nobody's going to drive this lousy freeway when they can take the Red Car for a nickel.
Judge Doom: Oh, they'll drive. They'll have to. You see, I bought the Red Car so I could dismantle it.

Angelo: So who's your client, Mr. Detective-to-the-Stars? Chilly Willy? Or Screwy Squirrel?
Dolores: What'll it be?
Angelo: I'll have a beer, doll. So what happened, huh? Somebody kidnapped Dinky Doodle?
Dolores: Cut it out, Angelo.
Angelo: No, wait a minute, wait a minute, I've got it. You're working for Little Bo Peep. She's lost her sheep, and you're gonna help her find them, huh?
[Angelo laughs. Eddie kicks Angelo's seat out from under him and grabs him by the neck]
Eddie Valiant: Get this straight, meatball! I don't work for toons!
[Eddie stuffs a hard-boiled egg in Angelo's mouth and storms off]
Angelo: [spits out the egg] So what's his problem?
Dolores: A toon killed his brother.
Angelo: What?
Dolores: Dropped a piano on his head.

Smart Ass: Stop that laughing. You know what happens when you can't stop laughing? One of these days, you're gonna "die" laughing.

Roger Rabbit: What could have possibly happened to you to turn you into such a sourpuss?
Eddie Valiant: You really want to know? I'll tell you. A toon killed my brother.
Roger Rabbit: A toon? No-o!
Eddie Valiant: Yes, a toon. We were investigating a robbery at the First National Bank of Toontown. Back in those days, me and Teddy liked working Toontown, thought it was a lot of laughs. Anyway, this guy got away with a zillion simoleons. We trailed him to a little dive down on Yukster Street. We went in. Only he got the drop on us, literally. Dropped a piano on us from fifteen stories. Broke my arm, Teddy never made it. I never did find out who that guy was. All I remember was him standing over me laughing, with those burning red eyes, and that high, squeaky voice. He disappeared into Toontown after that.
Roger Rabbit: [sobbing] No wonder you hate me! If a toon killed my brother, I'd hate me too!

Benny the Cab: Sister Mary Frances. What the hell happened in here? I've been a cab for thirty-seven years, and I've never seen a mess like this.

Benny the Cab: And how about those Brooklyn Dodgers? Are they bums or what?

Angelo: Hey, I seen a rabbit.
Judge Doom: Where?
[Roger gasps]
Eddie Valiant: Ya see?
Judge Doom: Where?!
Angelo: He's right here in the bar.
[put his arm around an imaginary friend]
Angelo: Say hello, Harvey.
[the whole bar erupts in laughter]
Roger Rabbit: I told you so.

Roger Rabbit: No! Not my Jessica! Not patty-cake! This is impossible! I don't believe it! It can't be! It just can't be! Jessica's my wife! It's absolutely impossible! Jessica's the love of my life. The apple of my eye. The cream in my coffee.
Eddie Valiant: Well you better start drinking it black, Acme's taking the cream now.

Judge Doom: You wouldn't have any idea where the rabbit might be, Mr. Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: Have you tried Walla Walla? Cucamonga? I hear Kokomo's very nice this time of the year.
Judge Doom: I'm surprised you're not more cooperative, Mr. Valiant. A human has been murdered by a toon. Don't you appreciate the magnitude of that?

Birds: Hi, Eddie. Hi, Eddie. Hi, Eddie. Bye, Eddie!

Marvin Acme: "If it's Acme, it's a gasser". Put it there, pal. [shakes hands with Eddie, who feels a shock] The hand buzzer. Still our biggest seller.

Eddie Valiant: You crazy rabbit! I'm out there risking my neck for you, and what are you doing? Singing and dancing!
Roger Rabbit: But I'm a toon. Toons are supposed to make people laugh.
Eddie Valiant: Sit down!
Roger Rabbit: You don't understand. Those people needed to laugh.
Eddie Valiant: Then when they're done laughing, they'll call the cops. That guy Angelo would rat on you for a nickel.
Roger Rabbit: Not Angelo. He'd never turn me in.
Eddie Valiant: Why? Because you made him laugh?
Roger Rabbit: That's right! A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have.