The Simpsons Movie

The Simpsons Movie quotes

86 total quotes (ID: 540)

Bart
Homer
Lisa
Marge
Multiple Characters


Grandpa: Homer?! What the hell are you doing now?
Homer: Risking my life to save people I hate for reasons I don't quite understand. Gotta go!


Homer: [lying dazed on the ground] Homer do good?
Bart: Actually, you doomed us all... again. Nice knowing you, Homer! [storms off]
Homer: Ohhhh, I can't do anything right! [kicks the bomb, causing it to go from 8:31 to 4:11 minutes remaining]
Krusty: GET OUTTA HERE!
[The crowd boos Homer and throws rocks and stuff at him]

Homer: So long, losers!
[He jumps from treehouse into sinkhole, giving the irate mob the finger, only to realize he's too fat to sink through smoothly]
Homer: Uh-oh. [tries to dig his way deeper]
Moe: The top of his head is still showing. Claw at it!
[Random people claw at Homer's head before it disappears. Groundskeeper Willie's rake also scrapes it, and Nelson's red arrow is embedded in it (his laugh is heard too).]

Lisa: [talking about the pollution of Lake Springfield while trying to work a faulty scissorlift] Am I getting through to anyone?
Krusty: Hell yeah! We need a new one of those things!
Mayor Quimby: All in favor of the new scissorlift say aye.
Entire Town: Aye!
Lisa: No! This lake is just one piece of trash away from a toxic nightmare! But I knew you wouldn't listen, so I took the liberty of pouring water from the lake in all your drinking glasses.
[Everyone spits out their water in disgust]
Moe: This is why we should hate kids!
Mayor Quimby: This is serious, people! No more dumping in the lake! I hereby declare a state of emergency: CODE BLACK!
[The crowd gasps]
Lenny Leonard: Black?! That's the worst color there is! [to Carl] No offense there, Carl.
Carl: [not even shaken] Nah, I get it all the time.

Marge: [looking at the 'Pig Crap' silo] Ugh, it's leaking! [drips of feces are falling from the top of the silo to the ground]
Homer: It's not leaking, it's overflowing.
Marge: He filled up the silo in just two days?!
Homer: Well, I helped.

Marge: Bart, are you drinking whiskey?
Bart: [drunk] I'm troubled.
Marge: Bart!
Bart: I promise I'll stop tomorrow.
Marge: You'll stop right now!!!
[Marge chases Bart round the room. Bart pulls out draws and jumps over the bed in an attempt to slow Marge down. He holds the whiskey flask in his mouth and tilts his head while running, eventually collapsing]
Bart: I miss Flanders. There, I said it! [passes out]

Marge: Homer, you have to go out there, face that mob, and apologize for what you did.
Homer: I would, but I'm afraid that if I open the door, they'll take all of you.
Carl: [offscreen] No we won't. We just want Homer!
Homer: Well maybe not you... but they'll kill Grandpa!
Grandpa: [offscreen] I'm part of the mob!

Marge: You can take Spider-Pig with you.
Homer: He's not Spider-Pig anymore, he's Harry Plopper.
[Plopper is shown with Harry Potter-like glasses, brown hair and a lightning bolt scar]

Medicine Woman: Homer Simpson, do you know why you are here?
Homer: Because my family cares more about other people than they do about me.
Medicine Woman: Drink this liquid. [pours some medicine into Homer's mouth]
Homer: [his mouth briefly goes on fire] AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! More, please. [the medicine woman pours more medicine into his mouth]

Moe: [Wearing a blue robe with a traffic cone on his head and ammunition belts strapped over his chest] Well, I don't mean to brag, but I am now the Emperor of Springfield.
Barney: [offscreen] No you're not! [tosses a Molotov ****tail at Moe]
Moe: Yes I am! [throws it back to Barney, where it explodes offscreen]
Barney: [offscreen, submissive] Okay. Hail Emperor.

Ned Flanders: The good Lord, he's telling me to confess to something.
Homer: [quietly with fingers crossed] Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay!...
Ned Flanders: An immodest sense of pride in our community.
[Pause]
Reverend Lovejoy: Somebody else.

Ned: Boys, before we eat, don't forget to thank the Lord for this bountiful--[a naked Bart crashes into the window] PENIS?!?
Rodd and Todd Flanders: Bountiful penis.
Todd Flanders: Amen.

Ned: Look at that. You can see the four states that border Springfield: Ohio, Nevada, Maine and Kentucky.
Bart: Oh yeah.
Ned: And if you look real close, you can almost -- YAAGH!!
[Ned has seen the multi-eyed squirrel (which grows an extra eye)]
Ned: Well, this certainly seems odd, but ... who am I to question the work of the Almighty? Oh, we thank you Lord for this mighty fine, intelligent design. [switches to the squirrels multi-eyes point-of-veiw] Good job.
Bart: [continously jabs the squirrels' eyes (every eye he jabs goes black from the squirrels' POV)] Jabbity-jabbity-jab-jab-jab!
Male EPA Agent: Hey, jab one more eye and its a federal crime!

Ned: Now remember, when you meet Jesus, be sure to call him Mr. Christ.
Todd Flanders: Will Buddha be there too?
Ned: No!

Reverend Lovejoy: Let the Lord's light shine upon you. Feel the spirit. Let it out!
[Grandpa, who has just had the Lord's light shine upon him, suddenly goes into a possessed frenzy.]
Grandpa: HORRIBLE! HORRIBLE THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEEEEEEEN! [pointing at random people] And they're gonna happen to you, and you, and you, [points at Marge] and you! Whoa, Nelly!
[He falls to the floor, whimpering and babbling. Comic Book Guy records him on his cell phone.]
Grandpa: People of Springfield, heed this warning: Twisted tail! A thousand eyes! TRAPPED FOREVER!
[Grandpa walks in a circle on the floor, making turkey-like gobbling noises.]
Lisa: Dad, do something!
Homer: [frantically flicking through the Bible] This book doesn't have any answers!
Grandpa: Beware! Beware! Time is short! Epa! Epa! EEEEEEEEPAAAAAAAA!!! Believe me! BELIEVE ME!
[Homer rolls him up in the aisle rug and drags him out of the church.]
Grandpa: [babbles again briefly] Thanks for listening!