Madagascar quotes

View Quote [Mason and Phil have just escaped from the zoo] I hear Tom Wolfe's speaking at Lincoln Centre. [Phil signs frantically] Well of course we're going to throw poo at 'im!

View Quote Gloria: [about Mort] Aw, aren't you just the sweetest little thing? I just wanna dunk you in my coffee.
Melman: They are so cute from a reasonable distance.

View Quote Gloria: Where are the people?
Skipper: We killed 'em and ate their livers.
[Gloria looks horrified]
Skipper: Gotcha! Just kidding doll, the people are fine. They're on a slow boat to China. Hang on, I know you two. Where's that psychotic lion, and our monochromatic friend?

View Quote Skipper: Quadruped! Sprechen sie Englisch?
Marty: I sprechen.
Skipper: What continent is this?
Marty: Manhattan.
Skipper: Hoover Dam! We're still in New York! Abort! Dive! Dive! Dive!
Marty: Hey, wait! You in the tux! What are you guys doing?
Private: We're digging to Antartica! [Skipper slaps him]
Skipper: Can you keep a secret, my monochromatic friend? Do you ever see any penguins walking free around New York City? Of course not. We don't belong here, it's just not natural. This is all some kind of whacked-out conspiracy. We're going to the wide open spaces of Antartica. To the wild.
Marty: The wild? You can actually go there-- that's sounds great!
Skipper: You didn't see anything... right?
Marty: Yes, sir! I mean no, sir!

View Quote [the penguins are being transfered; Kowalski is looking at the label on their crate]
Skipper: Progress report.
Kowalski: It's an older code, Skipper. I can't make it out.
[Skipper notices the chimps in the crate next to them]
Skipper: You, higher mammal! Can you read?
Mason: No. Phil can read though. Phil!
[Phil appears; Kowalski gestures towards the label; Phil starts using sign language]
Mason: Ship to... Kenya... wildlife preserve... AFRICA!
Skipper: Africa? That ain't gonna fly. Rico!
[Rico vomits up a paper clip and uses it to unpick the lock on their crate]

View Quote Mort: I like them! I like them! Before I even met them I liked them!
Julien: Yes, yes! We get it--
Mort: You HATE them compared to how much I like them--
Julien: QUIET, YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!
[pause]
Mort: [flattered] Hee-hee!

View Quote Alex: Ow, my head! [he bumps his head on the top of his crate] What the-- I'm in a box! Oh no! Not the box! Oh no, they can't transfer ME! NOT ME! I can't breathe, can't breathe! Darkness creeping in. I can't breathe. Walls closing in around me! So alone. So alone--
Marty: Alex, are you there?
Alex: Marty?
Marty: Yeah! Talk to me, bud!
Alex: Oh Marty, you're here!
Marty: What's going on? Are you okay?
Alex: This doesn't look good, Marty.
Gloria: Alex, Marty, is that you?
Marty: Gloria! I am lovin' the sound of your voice!
Gloria: What is going on?
Alex: We're all in crates.
Gloria: Oh no!
Melman: Man, sleeping just knocks me out.
Alex: Melman!
Gloria: Are you okay?
Melman: Yeah. I often doze off while I'm getting an MRI.
Alex: Melman, you're not getting an MRI!
Melman: CAT scan?
Alex: No! No CAT scan! It's a zoo transfer!
Melman: ZOO TRANSFER?! No, I can't be transferred. I have an appointment with Dr. Goldberg at 5:00. There are prescriptions that have to be filled! No other zoo can afford my medical care, and I am NOT going HMO!
Marty: Take it easy, Melman. We are gonna be o-kiz-ay!
Alex: No Marty, we're not gonna be o-kiz-ay. Now, because of you, we're ruined!
Marty: Excuse me, I fail to see how this is my fault.
Gloria: You're kidding, right Marty?
Alex: You ticked off the people! You bit the hand, Marty! You bit the hand! "I don't know who I am! I don't know who I am? I gotta go find myself in the WILD!"
Marty: Yeah, but I didn't ask you to come after me.
Melman: He does have a point. I did say we should have stayed at the zoo but, you guys--
Alex: Melman, just shut it! You're the one who gave him this idea in in the first place!
Gloria: Alex, would you just leave Melman out of this, please!
Melman: Thank you, Gloria. Besides, it's not my fault that we were TRANSFERRED!
Gloria: Melman, shut it. Does anyone feel nauseous?
Melman: I feel nauseous.
Alex: Melman, you always feel nauseous.

View Quote Shush! We are hiding! Everyone be quiet, including me. Shhh! Who's making that noise?! Oh, it's me again.

View Quote Shame on you, Maurice! Can you not see that you have insulted the freak?

View Quote See you later, crocodile! Maurice, my arm is tired. Wave it for me. Faster, you naughty little monkey!

View Quote After much deep and profound brain things inside my head, I have decided to thank you for bringing peace to our homeland. And to make you feel good, I am offering you this lovely parting gift.

View Quote All we have to do is wait until they are deep in their sleep. [long pause] HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO TAKE?!

View Quote Excuse me? We bozos have de people, of course!

View Quote Good morning, Mister Alex. Rise and shining. Wakey, waking, Mister Alex! WAKE UP! ALEX! Oh, you suck your thumb?

View Quote All hail the New York Giants!