I Heart Huckabees quotes

View Quote Wake up, pretty girl, the joke is on you!

View Quote [after being hit in the face with a rubber ball] Awesome! Can we do the ball thing everyday?

View Quote You can't deal with my infinite nature, can you?

View Quote What?! Is it a crime? Is it a crime to look at Lange?!

View Quote There is no such thing as you or me,

View Quote Shania cares!

View Quote [after Caterine snaps a photo of his sobbing] NOBODY SEES THAT PICTURE!!!

View Quote Dawn Campbell: Oh please, I don't think of myself as being that pretty.
Dawn Campbell: [Brad whispers in her ear] Yes, that changed at Huckabees. You know, I was never the pretty girl.
Bernard Jaffe: Really?
Dawn Campbell: No! I just have to keep up with this gorgeous hottie.
Vivian Jaffe: How's the sex?
Bernard Jaffe: How is the sex?
Dawn Campbell: The sex?
Brad Stand: Come on, guys.
Brad Stand: [laughs] Come on. That's private.
Dawn Campbell: That's gross.
Vivian Jaffe: Our undercover surveillance shows it's been infrequent and short. Eight to nine minutes. Typically.
Dawn Campbell: Surveillance? You've watched us?
Vivian Jaffe: No, just listened.
Brad Stand:[laughs uncomfortably] So your surveillance is wrong!
Dawn Campbell: Yeah. It's quantity not quality.
Brad Stand: She meant quality not quantity.
Dawn Campbell: I know, I was only joking.
Bernard Jaffe: Were you joking when you said quantity and not quality?
Dawn Campbell: We're private about our seven minutes of heaven!
Brad Stand: It's longer than that, darling.
Dawn Campbell: [laughs hysterically] Eight minutes of heaven! It's quantity not quality!
Brad Stand: You should see her after a couple of margaritas.

View Quote Tommy Corn: [after being hit in the face with a rubber ball] Awesome! Can we do the ball thing everyday?
Caterine Vauban: Don't call it the ball thing. Call it pure being.
Tommy Corn: Okay... so can we do the pure being ball thing everyday?

View Quote Albert Markovski: The interconnection thing is definitely for real.
Tommy Corn: It is! I didn't think it wasn't! It is!
Albert Markovski: I know, I can't believe it, it's so fantastic!
Tommy Corn: It's amazing!
Albert Markovski: I know.
Tommy Corn: But it's also nothing special
Albert Markovski: Yeah, because it grows from the manure of human troubles.

View Quote Mr. Hooten: God gave us oil! He gave it to us! How can God's gift be bad?
Tommy Corn: I don't know. He gave you a brain too and you messed that up pretty damn good.
Mr. Hooten: I want you sons of bitches out of my house now!
Tommy Corn: If Hitler were alive, he'd tell you not to think about oil.
Mrs. Hooten: *You're* the Hitler! We took a Sudanese refugee into our home!
Tommy Corn: You did. But how did Sudan happen, ma'am? Could it possibly be related to dictatorships that we support for some stupid reason?
Mr. Hooten: You shut up! You get out!
Tommy Corn: You shut up.
Tommy Corn:[to Albert] Come on. Let's get out of here.

View Quote Mrs. Hooten: Albert, what brought you to the philosophical club?
Albert Markovski: You mean the existential detectives?
Mr. Hooten: Sounds like a support group.
Cricket: Why can't he use the church?
Mrs. Hooten: Sometimes people have additional questions to be answered.
Cricket: Like what?
Albert Markovski: Well, um, for instance - if the forms of this world die, which is more real: the me that dies or the me that's infinite? Can I trust my habitual mind or do I need to learn to look beneath those things?

View Quote Cricket: Jesus is never mad at us if we live with Him in our hearts!
Tommy Corn: I hate to break it to you, but He is - He most definitely is.

View Quote Mrs. Hooten: So Tommy, what do you do?
Tommy Corn: I'm a firefighter.
Mr. Hooten: Congratulations, you're a hero.
Tommy Corn: I'm no hero. We'd all be heroes if we stopped using petroleum!

View Quote Dawn Campbell: Brad, do you love me?
Brad Stand: I think so.
Dawn Campbell: With the bonnet?
Brad Stand: Ehhh...