Ferris Bueller's Day Off quotes

View Quote Something's going on, god damn it!

View Quote Mr. Rooney... Ed... you're a beautiful man. I want to thank you for your warmth and compassion.

View Quote Sooner or later, everyone goes to the zoo.

View Quote He's gonna marry me.

View Quote Economics Teacher: In 1930, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, in an effort to alleviate the effects of the... Anyone? Anyone? ...the Great Depression, passed the... Anyone? Anyone? The tariff bill? The Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act? Which, anyone? Raised or lowered? ...raised tariffs, in an effort to collect more revenue for the federal government. Did it work? Anyone? Anyone know the effects? It did not work, and the United States sank deeper into the Great Depression. Today we have a similar debate over this. Anyone know what this is? Class? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone seen this before? The Laffer Curve. Anyone know what this says? It says that at this point on the revenue curve, you will get exactly the same amount of revenue as at this point. This is very controversial. Does anyone know what Vice President Bush called this in 1980? Anyone? Something-d-o-o economics. 'Voodoo' economics.

View Quote Snooty Waiter: I weep for the future.

View Quote Singing Telegram Nurse: I heard that you were feeling ill. Headache, fever, and a chill. I came to help restore your pluck, cause I'm the nurse who likes to...[door slammed shut]

View Quote Economics Teacher: [taking attendance] Bueller?... Bueller?... Bueller?
Simone: Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with a girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.
Economics Teacher: Thank you Simone.
Simone: No problem whatsoever.

View Quote Ed Rooney: I don't trust this kid any further than I can throw him.
Grace: Well, with your bad knee Ed, you shouldn't throw anybody... Its true.
Ed Rooney: What is so dangerous about a character like Ferris Bueller is he gives good kids bad ideas. Last thing I need at this point in my career is fifteen hundred Ferris Bueller disciples running around these halls. He jeopardizes my ability to effectively govern this student body.
Grace: He makes you look like an ass, is what he does, Ed.
Ed Rooney: Thank you Grace, but I think you're wrong.
Grace: Oh, he's very popular, Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wasteoids, dweebies, dickheads — they all adore him. They all think he's a righteous dude.
Ed Rooney: That is why I need to show these kids that the example he sets is a first-class-ticket-to-nowhere!
Grace: Oh, Ed. You sounded like Dirty Harry just then.
Ed Rooney: Really? Thanks, Grace.

View Quote Ed Rooney: Are you also aware, Mrs. Bueller, that Ferris does not have what we consider to be an exemplary attendance record?
Katie Bueller: I don't understand.
Ed Rooney: He has missed an unacceptable number of school days. In the opinion of this educator, Ferris is not taking his academic growth seriously. Now I've spent my morning examining his records. If Ferris thinks that he can just coast through this month and still graduate, he is sorely mistaken. I have no reservations whatsoever about holding him back another year.
Katie Bueller: This is all news to me.
Ed Rooney: It usually is. So far this semester he has been absent nine times.
Katie Bueller: Nine times?
Ed Rooney: Nine times.
Katie Bueller: I don't remember him being sick nine times.
Ed Rooney: That's probably because he wasn't sick. He was skipping school. Wake up and smell the coffee, Mrs. Bueller. It's a fool's paradise. He is just leading you down the primrose path.
Katie Bueller: I can't believe it.
Ed Rooney: I've got it right here in front of me. He has missed nine days...
[His computer screen begins counting down from nine to two. Ferris is at home looking at the same screen]
Ferris: I asked for a car, I got a computer. How's that for being born under a bad sign?

View Quote Ferris: Cameron, babe! What's happening?
Cameron: Very little.
Ferris: Is your mother in the room?
Cameron: She's in Decatur. Unfortunately she's not staying.

View Quote Ferris: If you're not over here in fifteen minutes, you can find a new best friend.
Cameron: You've been saying that since the fifth grade.

View Quote Cameron: [Whispering to himself after hanging up from a phone call with Ferris] I'm dying.
[Phone rings, and Cameron answers]
Ferris: [over the phone] You're not dying, you just can't think of anything good to do. Now be a man! Take some Pepto Bismol and come over here!

View Quote Cameron: Ferris, my father loves this car more than life itself.
Ferris: A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine automobile.
Cameron: No. No! Apparently, you don't understand!
Ferris: Wow.
Cameron: Ferris, he never drives it! He just rubs it with a diaper!

View Quote Ferris: Mr. Rooney would never believe Mr. Peterson drives that piece of shit.
Cameron: It's not piece of shit.
Ferris: It is a piece of shit! Don't worry about it, I don't even have a piece of shit! I have to envy yours.
Cameron: Oh, thanks.