Dazed and Confused quotes
76 total quotesMike Newhouse
Multiple Characters
Randall "Pink" Floyd
Ron Slater
View Quote
Kyle: George toked weed, man?
Slater: Absolutely George toked weed, are you kiddin' me, man? He grew fields of that stuff, man, that's what I'm talkin' about. Fields.
Kyle: He grew that shit up Mount Vernon, man.
Slater: Mount Vernon, man? He grew it all over the country, man. He had people growin' it all over the country, you know. The whole country back then was gettin' high. Lemme tell you, man, 'cause he knew he was onto somethin', man. He knew that it would be a good cash crop for the southern states, man, so he grew fields of it, man. But you know what? Behind every good man there's a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and every day, George would come home, she'd have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he'd come in the door. She was a hip, a hip, hip lady, man.
Slater: Absolutely George toked weed, are you kiddin' me, man? He grew fields of that stuff, man, that's what I'm talkin' about. Fields.
Kyle: He grew that shit up Mount Vernon, man.
Slater: Mount Vernon, man? He grew it all over the country, man. He had people growin' it all over the country, you know. The whole country back then was gettin' high. Lemme tell you, man, 'cause he knew he was onto somethin', man. He knew that it would be a good cash crop for the southern states, man, so he grew fields of it, man. But you know what? Behind every good man there's a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and every day, George would come home, she'd have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he'd come in the door. She was a hip, a hip, hip lady, man.
View Quote
Mitch: [after seniors threaten him] Er, Mr. Payne. Sir. You know every second that you could let us out early would really increase our chances of survival.
Mr. Payne, junior high school teacher: It's like our sergeant told us before one trip into the jungle. [shouts] Men! Fifty of you are leaving on a mission. Twenty-five of you ain't coming back.
Mitch: Okay.
Mr. Payne, junior high school teacher: It's like our sergeant told us before one trip into the jungle. [shouts] Men! Fifty of you are leaving on a mission. Twenty-five of you ain't coming back.
Mitch: Okay.
View Quote
You know what, coach. I gotta get going. Me and my "loser" friends, you know, we gotta get Aerosmith tickets. Top priority of the summer. Oh, and coach, uh, I forgot. I might play ball... [throws marijuana abstainance pledge sheet at coach]...but I will never sign that.
View Quote
Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin' right here, alright. We got 4:11 Posi-trac out back, 750 double pumper, Edelbrock intake, bored over 30, 11 to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo-jet 390 horsepower. We're talkin' some ****in' muscle.
View Quote
Michelle: [singing] Watch them fly... away...
Pickford: You guys know what that song is about? It's about aliens. We're the aliens, man. We're the savages.
Kyle: What, you mean that song's about that?
Slater: Yeah, man. That song is about that, man.
Kyle: About aliens?
Slater: Yeah, man. You didn't know that? This country's founded... it was founded by people who were into aliens, man. George Washington, man. He was in a cult. And the cult was into aliens, man. You didn't know that?
Kyle: No.
Slater: Oh, man, they were way into that type of stuff, man.
Pickford: You guys know what that song is about? It's about aliens. We're the aliens, man. We're the savages.
Kyle: What, you mean that song's about that?
Slater: Yeah, man. That song is about that, man.
Kyle: About aliens?
Slater: Yeah, man. You didn't know that? This country's founded... it was founded by people who were into aliens, man. George Washington, man. He was in a cult. And the cult was into aliens, man. You didn't know that?
Kyle: No.
Slater: Oh, man, they were way into that type of stuff, man.
View Quote
Dawson: There's Shavonne. I think she might still be mad at me. Watch me get something going here.
[The girls drive up]
Dawson: Hey, what's going on?
Shavonne: Hey, not much. How about you?
Dawson: Oh, a little weed, you know. There may be a beer bust later on.
Shavonne: Oh really? Cool, so I guess we'll see ya there?
Slater: All right, check ya later!
[The girls leave]
Dawson: Slate man, why are you always such a dork man?
Slater: What are you talking about man?
Dawson: [derisively] "Check ya later! Check ya later!" [laughs]
Slater: Hey man, get off my case!
Dawson: Chicks don't wanna hear that shit, man!
Slater: The chicks in our grade don't wanna hear nothin', man! The g-, the girls in our grade are all prudes, man! They're worthless little bitches! The ones who came before us, man, they were wild, man!
Dawson: Yeah, sounds to me like you just haven't gotten past the sniffin' butt stage, man, that's what that sounds like.
Slater: Hey, it's quality, not quantity, man...It's like when I get to college, man, I can't wait to get to college!
Dawson: Yeah, when I get to college, all I'm gonna do is, bang bang bangbangbangbang..
[The girls drive up]
Dawson: Hey, what's going on?
Shavonne: Hey, not much. How about you?
Dawson: Oh, a little weed, you know. There may be a beer bust later on.
Shavonne: Oh really? Cool, so I guess we'll see ya there?
Slater: All right, check ya later!
[The girls leave]
Dawson: Slate man, why are you always such a dork man?
Slater: What are you talking about man?
Dawson: [derisively] "Check ya later! Check ya later!" [laughs]
Slater: Hey man, get off my case!
Dawson: Chicks don't wanna hear that shit, man!
Slater: The chicks in our grade don't wanna hear nothin', man! The g-, the girls in our grade are all prudes, man! They're worthless little bitches! The ones who came before us, man, they were wild, man!
Dawson: Yeah, sounds to me like you just haven't gotten past the sniffin' butt stage, man, that's what that sounds like.
Slater: Hey, it's quality, not quantity, man...It's like when I get to college, man, I can't wait to get to college!
Dawson: Yeah, when I get to college, all I'm gonna do is, bang bang bangbangbangbang..
View Quote
Simone: I did it when I was a freshman, and you'll do it when you're seniors. but you're doing great. Now fry like bacon, you little freshman piggies. Fry!
View Quote
Coach Conrad: Come here, Randy. Come here. You been out with those losers all night?
Slater: Hey, Coach Conrad. Remember me? Second-period gym class?
Coach Conrad: That's the kind of people I was tellin' you about. Trouble like this means nothing to those clowns. You're the one with something to lose.
Pink: Coach, you don't even know them. How can you even pretend to talk that way?
Coach Conrad: Okay, Randy. I shouldn't do this, but I'm willing to wipe the slate clean and forget about this. I want you to get your priorities straight, quit hanging out with those hoodlums and sign your commitment to your team. Have you done that yet?
Pink: I'm still thinkin' about it.
Coach Conrad: No one's paying you to think about it, just do it!
Pink: You know, Coach, I gotta get goin'. Me and my "loser" friends, you know, we gotta get Aerosmith tickets. Top priority of the summer. Oh, and Coach, I forgot. I might play ball. But I will never sign that!
Slater: Hey, Coach Conrad. Remember me? Second-period gym class?
Coach Conrad: That's the kind of people I was tellin' you about. Trouble like this means nothing to those clowns. You're the one with something to lose.
Pink: Coach, you don't even know them. How can you even pretend to talk that way?
Coach Conrad: Okay, Randy. I shouldn't do this, but I'm willing to wipe the slate clean and forget about this. I want you to get your priorities straight, quit hanging out with those hoodlums and sign your commitment to your team. Have you done that yet?
Pink: I'm still thinkin' about it.
Coach Conrad: No one's paying you to think about it, just do it!
Pink: You know, Coach, I gotta get goin'. Me and my "loser" friends, you know, we gotta get Aerosmith tickets. Top priority of the summer. Oh, and Coach, I forgot. I might play ball. But I will never sign that!
View Quote
Tony: [describing his dream] So there I am, getting it on with this perfect female body and...
Mike: What?
Tony: I can't say.
Mike: No, you can't give a build-up like that and not deliver. You know, a perfect female body, it's not a bad start.
Tony: But with the head of Abraham Lincoln. With the hat and the beard, everything.
Mike: What?
Tony: I can't say.
Mike: No, you can't give a build-up like that and not deliver. You know, a perfect female body, it's not a bad start.
Tony: But with the head of Abraham Lincoln. With the hat and the beard, everything.
View Quote
Wooderson: I've been thinkin' about gettin' back in school, though, man.
Dawson: What, like, J.C. or something like that?
Wooderson: Yeah, man. But I'd just as soon keep workin', though, keep a little change in my pocket. Better than listenin' to some dipshit, doesn't know what the hell he's talkin' about, anyway!
Dawson: I know what you're talkin' about, man!
Wooderson [to Mitch]: So, you're a freshman, right? Tell me, man, how's this year's crop of freshman chicks lookin' this year?
Dawson: Wood, you're gonna go to jail very soon, man!
Wooderson: Naw, man, that's what I like about these high school girls, man; I get older, they stay the same age..
Dawson: What, like, J.C. or something like that?
Wooderson: Yeah, man. But I'd just as soon keep workin', though, keep a little change in my pocket. Better than listenin' to some dipshit, doesn't know what the hell he's talkin' about, anyway!
Dawson: I know what you're talkin' about, man!
Wooderson [to Mitch]: So, you're a freshman, right? Tell me, man, how's this year's crop of freshman chicks lookin' this year?
Dawson: Wood, you're gonna go to jail very soon, man!
Wooderson: Naw, man, that's what I like about these high school girls, man; I get older, they stay the same age..
View Quote
Ms. Ginny Stroud: Okay guys, one more thing, this summer when you're being inundated with all this American bicentennial Fourth Of July brouhaha, don't forget what you're celebrating, and that's the fact that a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic, white males didn't want to pay their taxes.
View Quote
Hirschfelder: What the hell are we doing? I was gettin' there. Man, I had my hand up her shirt.
Carl: You were gettin' there? You hear that, he was gettin' there. Son, you wouldn't know what to do even if you had gotten there, so don't worry about it.
Hirschfelder: Just because you guys are striking out...
Tommy: Grow up, boy. That was our last junior high party.
Carl: That's right. We're in the big time now. We're freshmen. Where all the girls be putting out. Your days of fooling around with doing tongue all night are over.
Carl: You were gettin' there? You hear that, he was gettin' there. Son, you wouldn't know what to do even if you had gotten there, so don't worry about it.
Hirschfelder: Just because you guys are striking out...
Tommy: Grow up, boy. That was our last junior high party.
Carl: That's right. We're in the big time now. We're freshmen. Where all the girls be putting out. Your days of fooling around with doing tongue all night are over.
View Quote
Slater: [continuing his speech about George and Martha Washington] ...and she was real cool too. She'd harvest the crops, man. That's what I'm talkin' about. She'd put it in the bushels and stuff, and sell it, you know, because they had to make ends meet and stuff. I mean, did you ever look at a dollar bill, man? There's some spooky stuff goin' on on a dollar bill, man. And it's green too.
View Quote
Kaye: You know, you guys were in class trying to list all the "Gilligan's Island" episodes without even a hint of irony.
Shavonne: What the hell are you talking about, girl?
Kaye: You weren't thinking about it, were you?
Shavonne: Gilligan's Island?
Kaye: It's what's called a male pornographic fantasy.
Shavonne: Oh my...
Kaye: Think about it. You're basically alone on a deserted island with two readily available women. One a seductive sex-godess type, the other a healthy girl-next-door type with a nice butt. So guys have it all, the madonna and the whore. Women get nothing; we get a geek, an overweight middle-aged guy, some nerdy scientific type, I mean...
Jodi: The professor's sexy.
Shavonne: What the hell are you talking about, girl?
Kaye: You weren't thinking about it, were you?
Shavonne: Gilligan's Island?
Kaye: It's what's called a male pornographic fantasy.
Shavonne: Oh my...
Kaye: Think about it. You're basically alone on a deserted island with two readily available women. One a seductive sex-godess type, the other a healthy girl-next-door type with a nice butt. So guys have it all, the madonna and the whore. Women get nothing; we get a geek, an overweight middle-aged guy, some nerdy scientific type, I mean...
Jodi: The professor's sexy.
View Quote
[on public address system, to junior high students] Okay, all you freshman ****s, listen up! Normally you'd be spending your freshman summer getting your asses busted, and running for your worthless little lives. But today, since we feel so sorry for you, we're gonna make it easy on ya. If you meet us, right here, after school you'll only get one "lick" from each of us. But if you run like cowards, well, it's open season, all summer long, boys. Oh, and Mitch Kramer. Mitchy-Mitchy-Mitchy...We're gonna be lookin' for you, pal. Your ass is gonna be purple by the time this day's over. Have a nice afternoon. [kisses CB mic]