Dazed and Confused

Dazed and Confused quotes

76 total quotes (ID: 152)

Benny O'Donnell
David Wooderson
Don Dawson
Fred O'Bannion
Mike Newhouse
Multiple Characters
Randall "Pink" Floyd
Ron Slater


[on public address system, to junior high students] Okay, all you freshman ****s, listen up! Normally you'd be spending your freshman summer getting your asses busted, and running for your worthless little lives. But today, since we feel so sorry for you, we're gonna make it easy on ya. If you meet us, right here, after school you'll only get one "lick" from each of us. But if you run like cowards, well, it's open season, all summer long, boys. Oh, and Mitch Kramer. Mitchy-Mitchy-Mitchy...We're gonna be lookin' for you, pal. Your ass is gonna be purple by the time this day's over. Have a nice afternoon. [kisses CB mic]


Cynthia: Which one of you had the theory about how president Ford's old football head injuries is affecting the economy?
Tony: Did you know Ford was on the Warren Commission?
Mike: Who cares, he's outta there this fall. Look, we need some alcohol.
Tony: That's a thought.

Joint sub-committee on the 50 yard line!

Cynthia: God, don't you ever feel like everything we do and everything we've been taught is just to service the future?
Tony: Yeah I know, like it's all preparation.
Cynthia: Right. But what are we preparing ourselves for?
Mike: Death.
Tony: Life of the party.
Mike: It's true.
Cynthia: You know, but that's valid because if we are all gonna die anyway shouldn't we be enjoying ourselves now? You know, I'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor insignificant preamble to something else.

Freshman Girl: Will you marry me?
Dawson: I don't know. What's in it for me?
Freshman Girl: Anything you want.
Dawson: Anything?
Freshman Girl: Anything.
Dawson: [opening his mouth wide] Go like this. [she opens her mouth] Do you spit or swallow?
Freshman Girl: Whatever you...like.
Dawson: Whatever I like? I would definitely marry you.

[to Mitch] You know that Julie chick? Loves you. You want her? Gotta play it cool, you know. You can't let her know how much you like her 'cause if she knows, she'll dump you like that [snaps fingers]. Believe me. Like, if she asks you if you want a ride, you say, "No, I've got my own ride, but maybe I'll see you later." Sounds stupid, doesn't it? It works.

Cynthia: The Fifties were boring, the Sixties rocked, and the Seventies..oh god..well, they obviously suck...maybe the Eighties will be radical..

Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.

Dawson: Hey, "Tubs". Catch. Get outta here.
[tosses a freshman a beer]
Benny: What are you wasting a beer on him for?
Dawson: What? It's not a big deal
O' Bannion: Man, this ****ing sucks! Last ****in' day of school, no ****in' party, no ****in' -- Ah!
[throws a beer out of anger]
Benny: You just wasted another ****in' beer.
O' Bannion: Ah, shut up.

Party at the Moon Tower.

Well, all I'm saying is that I want to look back and say that I did I the best I could while I was stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place... Dogged as many girls as I could while I was stuck in this place...

Clint: I only came here to do two things, kick some ass and drink some beer. [glances over his shoulder] Looks like we're almost outta beer.

You know what, coach. I gotta get going. Me and my "loser" friends, you know, we gotta get Aerosmith tickets. Top priority of the summer. Oh, and coach, uh, I forgot. I might play ball... [throws marijuana abstainance pledge sheet at coach]...but I will never sign that.

Man, it's the same bullshit they tried to pull in my day. If it ain't that piece of paper, there's some other choice they're gonna try and make for you. You gotta do what Randall "Pink" Floyd wants to do, man. Let me tell you this, the older you do get the more rules they're gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin' man, L-I-V-I-N.

Mmm... bowling ball. Bowling ball. Yeah throw it. ****, sissy, pussy, freshman.