Caddyshack quotes
107 total quotesMultiple Characters
Spaulding Smails
Ty Webb
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Moose...Rocco..Help the judge find his checkbook!
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Hey, doll. Could you scare up another round for our table over here? And tell the cook this is low grade dogfood. I've had better food at the ballgame, you know? I tell you, this steak still has marks where the jockey was hitting it.
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Spaulding, this one calls for the old Billy Barule. Oh, Billy, Billy, Billy. This is a biggie! Don't let me down, Billy! Forty thousand dollars...Billy
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Judge Smails: The man is a menace! Cut that off! Music is a violation of our personal privacy! He's breaking the law!
Danny: I've always been fascinated with the law, sir.
Judge Smails: Really? What areas?
Danny: All areas. Personal privacy, noise statutes....I'd planned to go to law school after I graduated, but my folks won't have enough money to put me through college.
Judge Smails: The world needs ditchdiggers, too.
Lacey: Nice try.
Danny: I've always been fascinated with the law, sir.
Judge Smails: Really? What areas?
Danny: All areas. Personal privacy, noise statutes....I'd planned to go to law school after I graduated, but my folks won't have enough money to put me through college.
Judge Smails: The world needs ditchdiggers, too.
Lacey: Nice try.
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Oh, Porterhouse! Look at the wax build-up on those shoes! This is fine leather! I want that wax stripped off! I want them creamed and buffed with a fine chamois. And I want them now! Chop chop!
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In one physical model of the universe, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, in the opposite direction.
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I have to laugh because I've often asked myself my foe, my enemy, is an animal. In order to conquer him I have to think like an animal and whenever possible to look like one. I've got to get inside this dude's pelt and crawl around for a few days. Who is the gopher's ally? His friend? The harmless squirrel and the friendly rabbit. I'm going to use you guys to do my dirty work for me.
I have to laugh because I've often asked myself my foe, my enemy, is an animal. In order to conquer him I have to think like an animal and whenever possible to look like one. I've got to get inside this dude's pelt and crawl around for a few days. Who is the gopher's ally? His friend? The harmless squirrel and the friendly rabbit. I'm going to use you guys to do my dirty work for me.
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Danny: How about we go swimming?
Maggie: I don't have the swimwear. Besides, I've never swum.
Danny: I'll teach you.
Maggie: Why don't you come on in and help me sort my holy cards first?
Maggie: I don't have the swimwear. Besides, I've never swum.
Danny: I'll teach you.
Maggie: Why don't you come on in and help me sort my holy cards first?
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Country clubs and cemeteries are the biggest wasters of prime real estate! Dead people? They don't need to be buried nowadays. Ecology, right? Ask Wang. He'll tell you. We just bought property behind the Great Wall. On the good side!
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Czervik: You guys are brothers?
Tony: Yeah.
Czervik: Is this a family business, or what? They say for ltalians this is skilled labor, you know that?
Tony: No, actually, I'm a rich millionaire. My doctor told me to get out and carry golf bags a couple of times a week.
Czervik: You're a funny kid. What time are you due back in Boys Town?
Tony: Yeah.
Czervik: Is this a family business, or what? They say for ltalians this is skilled labor, you know that?
Tony: No, actually, I'm a rich millionaire. My doctor told me to get out and carry golf bags a couple of times a week.
Czervik: You're a funny kid. What time are you due back in Boys Town?
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Judge Smails: Can I have a word with you? In private.
Ty: Sure thing, Judge.
Judge Smails: Your father and I prepped together, went to war together, played golf together. We built this Club, he and I! Let's face it. Some people simply do not belong. Let's not...cave in too easy. What do you say, Ty?
[Ty and Judge Smails laugh]
Ty: Let's make it $40,000.
Czervik: Great!
Ty: My dad...never liked you.
Ty: Sure thing, Judge.
Judge Smails: Your father and I prepped together, went to war together, played golf together. We built this Club, he and I! Let's face it. Some people simply do not belong. Let's not...cave in too easy. What do you say, Ty?
[Ty and Judge Smails laugh]
Ty: Let's make it $40,000.
Czervik: Great!
Ty: My dad...never liked you.
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Licensed to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet-Cong...Varmint-Cong. So you have to fall back on superior firepower and superior intelligence. And that's all she wrote.
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Danny: I haven't even told my father I'm not gonna get that scholarship. I'm gonna end up working in a lumberyard the rest of my life.
Ty: What's wrong with lumber? I own two lumberyards.
Danny: I notice you don't spend too much time there.
Ty: I'm not quite sure where they are.
Ty: What's wrong with lumber? I own two lumberyards.
Danny: I notice you don't spend too much time there.
Ty: I'm not quite sure where they are.
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Spalding: I want a hamburger... no, a cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake...
Judge Smails: You'll get nothing and like it!
Judge Smails: You'll get nothing and like it!
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Lacey: Pretty pathetic, Ty.
Ty: Pathetic? Maybe for you, Lacey. For me, there's a subtle perfection in everything I do. I've got my own standards, my own way.
Lacey: My uncle says you've got a screw loose.
Ty: Your uncle molests collies. You're rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body.
Ty: Pathetic? Maybe for you, Lacey. For me, there's a subtle perfection in everything I do. I've got my own standards, my own way.
Lacey: My uncle says you've got a screw loose.
Ty: Your uncle molests collies. You're rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body.