Cameron: So far she's not going for my guy. She's not a -
Bianca: K.D. Lang fan? No. I found a picture of Jared Leto in her drawer once, so I'm pretty sure she's not harboring same sex tendencies.

Cameron: Wow, is this what a bar looks like?
Michael: [Cameron reaches into a jar on the bar] Don't touch anything! You may get hepatitis.
Patrick: So, what have ya got for me?
Michael: A little insight into a very complicated girl....Uhh, excuse me, just one question before we start. Should you be drinking alcohol when you don't have a liver?
Michael: [Cameron and Patrick look confused] Nevermind.
Cameron: All right, first thing, Kat hates smokers.
Patrick: So you're telling me I'm a... non-smoker.
Michael: Yes... well, just for now.
Cameron: And, umm, here's another problem. Bianca said that Kat likes... pretty guys.
Patrick: Are you telling me I'm not a pretty guy?
Michael: H--... he's very pretty. He's a gorgeous guy.
Cameron: Yeah... I... I... just wasn't sure.
Cameron: All right, here's this... Likes Thai food, feminist prose and angry girl music of the indie rock persuasion. Here's a list of CDs she has in her room...
Patrick: So, I'm supposed to buy her some noodles and a book and sit around listening to chicks who can't play their instruments, right?
Michael: Have you ever been to Club Skunk?
Cameron: Her favorite band's playing there tomorrow night.
Patrick: I can't be seen at Club Skunk. All right?
Cameron: But she'll be there, she's got tickets.
Michael: Just assail your ears for one night.
Cameron: She has a pair of black underwear... If that helps.
Michael: [laughing cooly] Couldn't hurt, right?

'Cause he was like- such a babe.

Bianca Stratford: What planet did you come from? Planet Loser?
Kat Stratford: As opposed to Planet Look-at-Me, Look-at-Me?
Walter Stratford: (claps) Ok, here's how we solve this one: Old rule out, new rule: Bianca can date...when she does (points at Kat)
Bianca Stratford: But she´s a mutant! What if she never dates?!
Walter Stratford: Then you'll never date...Oh I like that! And I'll get to sleep at night, the deep slumber of a father whose daughters aren't out being impregnated
Walter Stratford: (his beeper sounds) We'll continue this conversation later

Joey Donner: [after she punches him in the face] Shit Bianca! I'm shooting a nose-spray ad tomorrow!

Mr. Morgan: [after reading a Shakespearean sonnet] Now. I know Shakespeare's a dead white guy, but he knows his shit, so we can overlook that. I want you all to write your own version of this sonnet. [Kat raises her hand in the background] Yes, Ms. "I Have An Opinion About Everything?"

Cameron: We are screwed
Michael: Hey, I don't want to hear that defeatist attitude. I want to hear you upbeat.
Cameron: [Cheerfully] We're screwed!
Michael: There you go

Geek: [When asked if he would go out on a date with Kat] Maybe. If we were the last two human beings alive. And there were no sheep. [smiles creepily] Are there sheep?

Joey: [holding up headshots] Which one do you like better?
Bianca: Hmm, I think I like the white shirt better.
Joey: Yeah, it's more...
Bianca: Pensive?
Joey: Damn, I was going for thoughtful.

Chastity: I know you can be overwhelmed and you can be underwhelmed. But can you ever just be whelmed?
Bianca: I think you can in Europe.

Bogie Lowenstien: That must be Nigel with the brie.

Bianca: Can we for two seconds forget the fact that you are severely unhinged and discuss my need for a night of teenage normalcy?
Walter Stratford: What's normal? Those damn Dawson's River kids, sleeping in each other's beds and whatnot?

Dr. Stratford: Hello, Katarina. Make anyone cry today?
Kat: Sadly, no... but it's only 4:30.

And I'm BACK IN THE GAME!

I hate the way you talk to me. And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick — It even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh — Even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around. And the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you — Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.