Cameron: Wow, is this what a bar looks like?
Michael: [Cameron reaches into a jar on the bar] Don't touch anything! You may get hepatitis.
Patrick: So, what have ya got for me?
Michael: A little insight into a very complicated girl....Uhh, excuse me, just one question before we start. Should you be drinking alcohol when you don't have a liver?
Michael: [Cameron and Patrick look confused] Nevermind.
Cameron: All right, first thing, Kat hates smokers.
Patrick: So you're telling me I'm a... non-smoker.
Michael: Yes... well, just for now.
Cameron: And, umm, here's another problem. Bianca said that Kat likes... pretty guys.
Patrick: Are you telling me I'm not a pretty guy?
Michael: H--... he's very pretty. He's a gorgeous guy.
Cameron: Yeah... I... I... just wasn't sure.
Cameron: All right, here's this... Likes Thai food, feminist prose and angry girl music of the indie rock persuasion. Here's a list of CDs she has in her room...
Patrick: So, I'm supposed to buy her some noodles and a book and sit around listening to chicks who can't play their instruments, right?
Michael: Have you ever been to Club Skunk?
Cameron: Her favorite band's playing there tomorrow night.
Patrick: I can't be seen at Club Skunk. All right?
Cameron: But she'll be there, she's got tickets.
Michael: Just assail your ears for one night.
Cameron: She has a pair of black underwear... If that helps.
Michael: [laughing cooly] Couldn't hurt, right?
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