Has the fact that you're completely psycho managed to escape your attention?

Are you asking me out? That's so cute! What's your name again?

I happen to like being adored, thank you.

You don't buy black lingerie unless you want somebody to see it.

[After she punches Joey in the face] That's for making my date bleed! — [Punches him again] That's for my sister! — [Knees him in the crotch] And that's for me!

Listen, I'm down, I've got the 411, and you are not going out and getting jiggy with some boy, I don't care how dope his ride is!... Momma di'nt raise no fool.

My insurance doesn't cover PMS!

Geek: [When asked if he would go out on a date with Kat] Maybe. If we were the last two human beings alive. And there were no sheep. [smiles creepily] Are there sheep?

Dr. Stratford: Hello, Katarina. Make anyone cry today?
Kat: Sadly, no... but it's only 4:30.

Cameron: Wow, is this what a bar looks like?
Michael: [Cameron reaches into a jar on the bar] Don't touch anything! You may get hepatitis.
Patrick: So, what have ya got for me?
Michael: A little insight into a very complicated girl....Uhh, excuse me, just one question before we start. Should you be drinking alcohol when you don't have a liver?
Michael: [Cameron and Patrick look confused] Nevermind.
Cameron: All right, first thing, Kat hates smokers.
Patrick: So you're telling me I'm a... non-smoker.
Michael: Yes... well, just for now.
Cameron: And, umm, here's another problem. Bianca said that Kat likes... pretty guys.
Patrick: Are you telling me I'm not a pretty guy?
Michael: H--... he's very pretty. He's a gorgeous guy.
Cameron: Yeah... I... I... just wasn't sure.
Cameron: All right, here's this... Likes Thai food, feminist prose and angry girl music of the indie rock persuasion. Here's a list of CDs she has in her room...
Patrick: So, I'm supposed to buy her some noodles and a book and sit around listening to chicks who can't play their instruments, right?
Michael: Have you ever been to Club Skunk?
Cameron: Her favorite band's playing there tomorrow night.
Patrick: I can't be seen at Club Skunk. All right?
Cameron: But she'll be there, she's got tickets.
Michael: Just assail your ears for one night.
Cameron: She has a pair of black underwear... If that helps.
Michael: [laughing cooly] Couldn't hurt, right?

Cameron: We are screwed
Michael: Hey, I don't want to hear that defeatist attitude. I want to hear you upbeat.
Cameron: [Cheerfully] We're screwed!
Michael: There you go

You're not as vile as I thought you were.

Remove head from sphincter, then drive!

Romantic? Hemingway? He was an abusive alcoholic and misogynist who squandered half of his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers.

What is it, Asshole Day?