James Bond [Bond is about to have his chest waxed so he can pass for Japanese]
Why don't you just dye the parts that show?
Most-quoted character in You Only Live Twice (1967): in 20 of its 31 quotes
Most scenes with: Tiger Tanaka (6), Ernst Stavro Blofeld (2), Helga Brandt (2)
Oh the things I do for England.
More lines from James Bond
3 quotes James Bond James Bond [Coded message to headquarters]
Little Nelly got a hot reception. Four big shots made improper advances toward her, but she defended her honor with great success.
James Bond [Bond has just sent Blofeld's henchman into the water. The piranha immediately attack him]
Bon appetit!
Scenes with James Bond
16 scenes Bond [James is in bed with a Ling, a Chinese woman]
Why do Chinese girls taste different from all other girls?
Ling You think we better, huh?
Bond No, just different. Like Peking Duck is different from Russian Caviar. But I love them both.
Ling Darling, I give you very best duck.
Oh, by the way, how was the girl?
Bond [turns the lamp towards her, interrogation style]
Which girl?
The... uh... Chinese one we set you up with?
Bond Another few minutes and I would have found out.
M [buzzing intercom]
Miss MoneyPenny, give 007 the password we've agreed with Japanese S.I.S.
Yes sir. [to Bond] We tried to think of something that you wouldn't forget.
Bond Yes?
"I, love, you". Repeat it please, to make sure you get it
Bond Don't worry, I get it.
Permit me to introduce myself. I am Tanaka. Please call me Tiger.
Bond If you're Tanaka, then how do you feel about me?
Bond Well, I'm glad we got that out of the way.
Bond You sound like a commercial.
[Being bathed by Tanaka's women]
You know what it is about you that fascinates them, don't you? It's the hair on your chest. Japanese men all have beautiful bare skin.
Bond Japanese proverb say, "Bird never make nest in bare tree."
Bond [Choosing a masseuse]
Well, I'll just settle for this little old lady here.
Good choice, she's very sexyful.
Rule number one: never do anything yourself when someone else can do it for you.
Bond And rule number two?
Rule number two: in Japan, men come first, women come second.
Bond I just might retire to here.
Bond I want to take a look at the island now. Is Little Nellie here?
Yes. And her father.
Bond [James, Aki, and Tiger enter a nearby garage where an agitated and a sweating Q is waiting]
Welcome to Japan, Dad. Is my little girl hot and ready?
Q Look, 007, I've had a long and tiring journey, probably to no purpose, so I'm in no mood for juvenile quips.
Bond Is this the only room there is?
Kissy Suzuki Yes. That is your bed,
Kissy Suzuki [points to one side of room]
I shall sleep over there.
Bond [points to other side of room]
But we're supposed to be married.
Kissy Suzuki Think again, please. You gave false name to priest.
Bond Yes, but we must keep up appearances. We're on our honeymoon.
Kissy Suzuki No honeymoon. This is business.
Bond [pushing aside his oyster dinner]
Well, I won't need these.
Mr. Osato You should give up smoking. Cigarettes are very bad for your chest.
Mr. Osato believes in healthy chest.
Bond [Bond eyes Helga's breasts]
Really?
Bond Well, enjoy yourself. [Brandt slaps him]
James Bond. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ernst Stavro Blofeld. They told me you were assassinated in Hong Kong.
Bond Yes, this is my second life.
You only live twice, Mr. Bond.
The firing power inside my crater is enough to annihilate a small army. You can watch it all on TV. It's the last program you're likely to see.
Bond Well, if I'm gonna be forced to watch television, may I smoke?
Yes. Give him his cigarettes. It won't be the nicotine that kills you, Mr. Bond.
Henderson [After Dikko Henderson gives Bond a vodka martini]
Oh, that's uh, stirred, not shaken. That was right, wasn't it?
Bond Perfect.
[A car chasing Aki and Bond gets picked up by Tanaka's helicopter and gets dropped into the ocean.]
How is that for Japanese efficiency?
Bond Just a drop in the ocean.
Other characters in You Only Live Twice
More Sean Connery characters
James Bond
John Patrick Mason
Capt. Marko Ramius
William Forrester
Daniel Dravot
Draco
John Connor
Allan Quatermain