[looking into the lost and found crate]
Okay, let's see what we got here. [a cockroach lands on his hand] Shoo! Shoo! Go on, get out of here. [flicks it off, finds a Super Mushroom] Mushroom. No. [puts it back, finds a Metal Gear Solid exclamation point] What is this? No. [he tosses it, and finds Zangief's underwear] Oh come on, Zangief! Gross. [he drops it back in] What am I doing?
[Markowski staggers on and right into the wall again and again, in a walk cycle.] [mumbling, shell-shocked]
We are humanity's last hope. Our mission? Destroy all Cy-Bugs. We are humanity's last hope.
[Markowski whips around quickly and grabs Ralph by the collar.] [traumatized]
WE’VE ONLY BEEN PLUGGED IN A WEEK, AND EVERY DAY IT’S "CLIMB THE BUILDING, THEN FIGHT BUGS, CLIMB THE BUILDING, FIGHT MORE BUGS!!!"
Yeah, yeah. Right. Look. Easy on the overalls, spaceman. It's tough all over, all right?
And all for what, a lousy medal?!
Yeah, Medal of Heroes.
Ooh. Is it shiny?
Eh... Pretty shiny.
Ooh! And it says "hero" on it?
Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.
And you say you win it by climbing a building?
AND FIGHTING BUGS!
Right, bugs. Listen, is there any chance I could go with you to your game and, you know, maybe get one of those medals?
Negatory!
Does that mean "maybe"?
NO! Look, only the bravest and the best serve in our corps. [sees a cockroach who climbs on Ralph's shoulder] BUG!!! [emits a high-pitched scream and runs straight into the wall, knocking himself out]
[Ralph sees the helmet rolling to him in front, then smiles as he flicks the cockroach off his shoulder]
