The Wizard of Oz quotes

View Quote Scarecrow: [about the Flying Monkeys] They tore my legs off and they threw them over there. Then they took my chest out and they threw it over there.
Tin Man: Well, that's you all over.
Cowardly Lion: They sure knocked the stuffin' out of you, didn't they?
Scarecrow: Don't stand there talking. Put me together. We've got to find Dorothy.

View Quote Lion: [Climbing to the castle] I hope my strength holds out.
Tin Man: I hope your tail holds out!

View Quote Wicked Witch: And you, my dear, what an unexpected pleasure. It's so kind of you to visit me in my loneliness.
Dorothy: What are you gonna do with my dog? Give him back to me.
Wicked Witch: All in good time, my little pretty. All in good time.
Dorothy: Oh, please give me back my dog.
Wicked Witch: Certainly, certainly, when you give me those slippers.
Dorothy: But the Good Witch of the North told me not to.
Wicked Witch: Very well. [To her winged-monkey captain] Throw that basket in the river and drown him.
Dorothy: No, no! Here, you can have your old slippers, but give me back Toto!
Wicked Witch: That's a good little girl. I knew you'd see reason.
[The Wicked Witch is zapped when she tries to take the slippers]
Dorothy: Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't do it! Can I still have my dog?
Wicked Witch: No! Fool that I am. I should have remembered. Those slippers will never come off, as long as you're alive. But that's not what's worrying me. It's how to do it. These things must be done delicately, or you hurt the spell.
[Toto leaps out from the basket and runs out the door]
Dorothy: Run Toto, Run!
Wicked Witch: Catch him, you Fool!
[Toto escapes]
Dorothy: He got away! He got away!
Wicked Witch: Ooh, which is more than you will. Drat you and your dog! You've been more trouble to me than you're worth, one way or another, but it'll soon be over now. Do you see that? [She holds up a large hourglass timer] That's how much longer you've got to be alive. And it isn't long, my pretty. It isn't long. I can't wait forever to get those shoes.

View Quote The Wizard: Can I believe my eyes? Why have you come back?
Dorothy: Please sir, we've done what you told us. We brought you the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West. We melted her.
The Wizard: Oh, you liquidated her, eh? Very resourceful.
Dorothy: Yes, sir. So we'd like you to keep your promises, if you please, sir.
The Wizard: Not so fast, NOT SO FAST! I'll have to give the matter a little thought. Go away and come back tomorrow.
Dorothy: Tomorrow? Oh, but I want to go home now!
Tin Man: You've had plenty of time to think already!
Cowardly Lion: Yeah!
The Wizard: DO NOT AROUSE THE WRATH OF THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ! I SAID COME BACK TOMORROW!
Dorothy: If you were really Great and Powerful, you'd keep your promises!
The Wizard: [As Toto reveals him behind a curtain] You presume to criticize the Great Oz?! You ungrateful creatures! You're lucky that I'm only holding this till tomorrow, instead of the next TWENTY YEARS from now! [They notice him] Er... the Great Oz has spoken. [Redraws the curtain hastily] PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN! THE GREAT, er... OZ... HAS SPOKEN!!
Dorothy: [Pulling aside the curtain] Who are you?
The Wizard: Oh, er, [Into a microphone, which increases his voice dramatically] I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL [In normal voice] ... Wizard... of Oz.
Dorothy: You are?! I don't believe you.
The Wizard: I'm afraid it's true. There's no other Wizard except me.
Scarecrow: You humbug!
Tin Man: Yeah!
The Wizard: Yes. That's exactly so. I'm a humbug.
Dorothy: Oh, you're a very bad man!
The Wizard: Oh, no, my dear, I... I'm a very good man - I'm just a very bad Wizard.
Scarecrow: What about the heart that you promised Tin Man?! And the courage that you promised Cowardly Lion?!
Tin Man and Cowardly Lion: And Scarecrow's brain!
The Wizard: Why, anybody can have a brain. That's a very mediocre commodity! Every pusillanimous creature that crawls on the earth or slinks through slimy seas has a brain! Back where I come from, we have universities, seats of great learning where men go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, they think deep thoughts — and with no more brains than you have. But! They have one thing you haven't got! A diploma! Therefore, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Universita Committeeatum E Pluribus Unum, I hereby confer upon you the honorary degree of Th.D.
Scarecrow: "Th.D."?
The Wizard: That's, er, "Doctor of Thinkology".
Scarecrow: [Rapid] The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side. [Normal, amazed] Oh, joy! Rapture! I've got a brain! How can I ever thank you enough?
The Wizard: Well, you can't! [To the Cowardly Lion] As for you, my fine friend — you're a victim of disorganized thinking. You are under the unfortunate delusion that simply because you run away from danger, you have no courage. You're confusing courage with wisdom! Back where I come from though we have men who are called heroes. Once a year, they take their fortitude out of mothballs and parade it down the main street of the city. And they have no more courage than you have. But — They have one thing that you haven't got! A medal! Therefore, for meritorious conduct, extraordinary valor, conspicuous bravery against Wicked Witches, I award you the Triple Cross. You are now a member of the Legion of Courage!
Cowardly Lion: Oh... Shucks, folks, I'm speechless!
The Wizard: [To the Tin Man] As for you, my galvanized friend - you want a heart! You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.
The Tin Man: But I-- I still want one.
The Wizard: Back where I come from, there are men who do nothing all day but good deeds. They are called phila-, er, er, philanth-er, good-deed doers! And their hearts are no bigger than yours. But! - They have one thing you haven't got. A testimonial! Therefore, in consideration of your kindness, I take pleasure at this time in presenting you with a small token of our esteem and affection. And remember, my sentimental friend, that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.
Tin Man: [Listens to his new heart-shaped testimonial] Oh! Oh, it ticks! Listen! Look, it ticks!
Cowardly Lion: Read what my medal says: "Courage"! Ain't it the truth!
Dorothy: Oh, they're all wonderful.
Scarecrow: Hey! What about Dorothy?
Tin Man: Yes, how about Dorothy?
Cowardly Lion: Yeah, Dorothy next!
The Wizard: [Thinking] Yes, Dorothy, er...
Dorothy: I don't think there's anything in that black bag for me.
The Wizard: Well, you've forced me into a cataclysmic decision. The only way to get Dorothy back to Kansas is for me to take her there myself!
Dorothy: Oh, will you? Could you? Oh — but are you a clever enough Wizard to manage it?
The Wizard: Child, you cut me to the quick. I'm an old Kansas man myself; born and bred in the heart of the Western wilderness. Premiere Balloonist par excellence for the Miracle Wonderland Carnival Company. Until one day, while performing spectacular feats of stratospheric skill never before attempted by civilized man, an unfortunate phenomena occurred. The balloon failed to return to the fair!
Cowardly Lion: It did?
Dorothy: Weren't you frightened?
Wizard: Frightened? You are talking to a man who has laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom, and chuckled at catastrophe - I was petrified. Then suddenly, the wind changed and the balloon floated down into the heart of this noble city, where I was instantly acclaimed Oz, the first Wizard Deluxe! Times being what they were, I accepted the job, retaining my balloon against the advent of a quick getaway. And in that balloon, my dear Dorothy, you and I will return to the land of E Pluribus Unum!

View Quote [While Dorothy is chasing Toto, the Wizard's hot-air balloon floats away.]
The Wizard: This is a highly irregular procedure - absolutely unprecedented. It'll ruin my exit.
Dorothy: Oh, wait! Come back, come back!
The Wizard: I can't come back, I don't know how it works!

View Quote Dorothy: Oh, now I'll never get home.
Cowardly Lion: Stay with us, then, Dorothy. We all love ya. We don't want ya to go.
Dorothy: That's very kind of you. But this could never be like Kansas. Auntie Em must have stopped wondering what happened to me by now. Oh, Scarecrow, what am I gonna do?
Scarecrow: [Notices Glinda's bubble] Look! There's someone who can help you.

View Quote Dorothy: Oh, will you help me? Can you help me?
Glinda: You don't need to be helped any longer. You've always had the power to go back to Kansas.
Dorothy: I have?
Scarecrow: Then why didn't you tell her before?
Glinda: She wouldn't have believed me. She had to learn it for herself.
Scarecrow: What have you learned, Dorothy?
Dorothy: Well, I—I think that it, that it wasn't enough just to want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em — and it's that — if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with! Is that right?
Glinda: That's all it is!
Scarecrow: But that's so easy! I should've thought of it for you -
Tin Man: I should have felt it in my heart -
Glinda: No, she had to find it out for herself. Now those magic slippers will take you home in two seconds!
Dorothy: Oh! Toto too?
Glinda: Toto too.
Dorothy: Now?
Glinda: Whenever you wish.
...
Glinda: Then close your eyes and tap your heels together three times. And think to yourself, 'There's no place like home'.

View Quote Dorothy: But it wasn't a dream. It was a place, and you [Hunk] and you [Hickory] and you [Zeke]... and you [Professor Marvel] were there. [Everyone laughs] But you couldn't have been, could you?
Auntie Em: We dream lots of silly things when we...
Dorothy: No, Aunt Em. This is a real, truly live place. And I remember that some of it wasn't very nice. But most of it was beautiful. But just the same, all I kept saying to everybody was, 'I want to go home.' And they sent me home. [Everyone chuckles again] Doesn't anybody believe me?
Uncle Henry: Of course we believe you, Dorothy.
Dorothy: Oh, but anyway, Toto, we're home! Home! And this is my room - and you're all here! And I'm not gonna leave here ever, ever again because I love you all! - And oh, Auntie Em, there's no place like home. There's no place like home.