Wedding Crashers quotes

View Quote Jeremy: (confesses to a priest) She's good. I mean, I believed that she was a virgin and it hurts to be lied to like that. It's a horrible feeling to feel that way. But I, you know, was looking to take advantage of something, too, so could I really feel that bad? It's not like I was who I was. You know what I'm saying? So fair play. And let's be honest with each other here, okay? Let's put all the cards on the table. She's fit for a straight-jacket, this broad is ****ed three ways towards the weekend, and you want to know what? I dig it! It turns me on! Yeah, it turns me on! Because you want to know what the kicker is, Father? Maybe I'm a little ****ing crazy! That's right, maybe Jeremy is a little nuts! And there's something about me that I'm a little cuckoo. I know it's a surprise. I know it's not on the surface. Man, I had a little imaginary friend when I was a kid. His name was Shiloh. We used to play checkers with each other everyday and bless his heart, Shiloh would always let me win.
Priest: Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Jeremy: And that ain't normal! There's something odd in that, but maybe that's what it takes to make you feel connected to somebody. I don't know! But I know when that red-head starts getting kooky, there's something about me that feels alive inside. Diggin' talking with ya. You're a really enlightened cat and I like that about you. Think you're a special special man. Come in for the real thing. Get in here for the real thing. (kisses the priest) I love you, you're a sweet man.
Priest: Dear God!

View Quote Ma! The meatloaf! ****!!

View Quote Come on in for the real thing.

View Quote Dude died in a hang gliding accident. What an idiot! Ha ha. "Ahhh! I'm hang-gliding, honey; take a good picture, I'm dead." What a freak!

View Quote (Upon finding out that Jeremy is getting married) WHAT?! What an IDIOT! What a loser! Good! Good! More for me and you!

View Quote Wife: You shut your mouth when you're talking to me!

View Quote Husband: Yeah, that's right, go comatose for me, baby!

View Quote Grandma: He was a doll! The wife, though, Eleanore, big dike. Huge dike. A real rug muncher. Looked like a big lesbian mule.

View Quote Daiquiris.

View Quote Now Todd, it wouldn't kill ya to play some competitive sports, once in a while, would it?

View Quote Death, you are my Bitch Lover!

View Quote I'll pop out at the right moment!

View Quote What the **** do you want?

View Quote God damn you! I almost nun-chucked you. You don't even realize!

View Quote I'm just living the dream.