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Jeffers quotes

She knew what she was doing when she got out of that elevator. I consider the girl to be just as much a threat as the two men. Right now my primary concern is for the child.

Robin, we're going to take your baby out now.

Robin, get in the car.

Longbaugh: You have too much faith in people.
Parker: How can you kidnap someone without it?

Parker and Longbaugh lean against Bar Patron's car as the alarms go off
Bar Patron: Hey, hey. Yeah you, get up. What are you ****ed? Get off the ****ing car!
Raving Bitch: Hey dickless, get off the ****ing car! Hey ****suck, get your slippery ****ing ass off the car! Listen to me, get off the ****ing car with your ****ing ass!
Parker: Shut that ****s mouth or I'll come over there and ****start her head!
Bar Patron and Raving Bitch leave the line and menacingly approach Parker and Longbaugh
Raving Bitch: You're gonna wish you never ****ing got up this ****ing morning asshole, because my boyfriend's gonna **** you up! And then after that while he's ****ing up your ****ing gay uncle over there I'm gonna ****ing cut off your **** and mail it to your mother, you ****ing **** bitch! You gaylord ****ing bitch! How do you like that? You like that a lot you ****ing ****? You like to ass ****? Fontanella ****ing babyheads!
Bar Patron: Go ahead.
Raving Bitch: You like to **** babyheads? You like to **** boys? He's gonna **** you in the ass, how do you like that? He's not even gay but he'll do it just to **** wi…
Bar Patron: Honey honey. She's got a big mouth but she's not kidding. I'm gonna whip you silly and I'm gonna **** you stupid. You wanna do the man dance? First dance is yours.

Employee: What would you say qualifies you as a donor?
Parker: Well, I'd say I'm a fairly intelligent, good-looking man, physically fit, stable…
Employee: Ok... heterosexual?
Parker: [pause] Can I ask you something?
Employee: Sure.
Parker: Are you a ****?
[The employee, taken aback, doesn't respond.]
Parker: See, you asked me if I was heterosexual. I asked you the same question, only I was clear about the answer I was looking for.
Employee: I just asked if you were heterosexual.

Longbaugh: Well, I've never killed a man…
Employee: I beg your pardon?
Longbaugh: I said I've never killed a man.
Employee: I didn't ask if you had.
Longbaugh: You asked me why I think I was qualified, and I think that's qualification.
Employee: And I'm just wondering why that in particular strikes you as an important qualification for semen donation.
Longbaugh: I would say that's a big ****ing qualifica--excuse me, a very important qualification.
Employee: No one's ever said that before…
Longbaugh: Have you ever asked?
Employee: No.
Longbaugh: You should.

Longbaugh: Why is that a big deal?
Employee: Because nobody brings up sex with dead people!

Longbaugh: Course they don't, it's sick.
Employee: You brought it up.
Longbaugh: To say I never did it.
Employee: I didn't ask that.
Longbaugh: You should.

[While kidnapping a pregnet woman named Robin in the hospital]:Parker: Allright guys I want this to go down nice and quiet. So put the guns down.
[The bodyguards do not respond]:Parker: Come on guys this is no good.
Longbaugh: Hey man. The people, the people.
Parker: Can't you people see we have guns here?
[The people do not move]:Parker: Get the **** out! Get out!
[After everyone leaves]:Parker: Alright guys, come on we've got you dead to it. Now I am gonna count to three.
[The guards **** their guns]:Longbaugh: Ah ****.
Parker: What the **** are you doing. You're supposed to be protecting her.
[The guards lower their guns down to Robin's stomach.]:Longbuagh: Ah ****. Man, what'd I tell you.
Robin: Walk away. Walk away. They don't care about dying, just losing. You're not gonna make it out of here alive. Someone could've called the cops by now, you know they're gonna come! Just walk away.

Parker: ****. Just say it.
Employee: No.
Parker: Just say it.
Employee: I'm not going to say that.
Parker: Don't you think it's funny that if I grab a woman's ass and she punches me, she's fighting for her rights, but if a **** grabs my ass and I punch his lights out, I'm a homophobe?
Employee: Let's just move on.
Parker: Are…you…a ****?
Employee: Any trace of mental illness in the family?
Parker: It's not what you say anymore, is it? It's all in how you say it.

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