G Gordon
[A shot of an Egg in the Basket over a frying pan zooms out to Gordon's hands holding the pan, reminiscent of V preparing the same dish. Evey wakes up to Stan Getz, Tom Jobim, João Gilberto, and Astrud Gilberto's "Corcovado". She had previously sought refuge at Gordon Deitrich's home after escaping from V]
Bonjour, mademoiselle.
[puzzled]
What is that you're making?
G Gordon
We call it "Eggie in the Basket". My mum used to make them.
The first morning I was with him, he made me eggs just like this.
G Gordon
That is a strange coincidence. Although there's an obvious explanation.
G Gordon
Yes, Evey. I am V. At last, you know the truth. [Evey looks incredulously at Gordon] You're stunned, I know. It's hard to believe, isn't it? That beneath this wrinkled, well-fed exterior, there lies a dangerous killing machine with a fetish for Fawkesian masks. ¡Viva la revolución!
That is not funny, Gordon.
G Gordon
[sighs]
Yes, I know. I'm useless without a studio audience.
I've seen people go to jail for less than that.
G Gordon
Of course. He was right, wasn't he? There is something wrong with this country.
[Gordon pops a champagne bottle]
What is this all about?
G Gordon
I'm celebrating.
G Gordon
I think this could be the best show we've ever done.
G Gordon
[on the television]
Very good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Listen. We've got an extraordinary show for you tonight. You're not going to believe it. As a matter of fact, I don't think I do. Would you please give a warm welcome to our own Chancellor Adam Sutler!
["God Save the Queen" plays on the background as an impersonator of Adam Sutler enters]
No way!
GW Girl with Spectacles
It can't be!
G Gordon
We threw out the censor-approved script, and shot a new one I wrote this morning.
G Gordon
[Cuts to the audience applaud on being threatened by the fake Sutler's soldiers. Evey chokes on her champagne]
Chancellor, Chancellor, Chancellor. I understand you've been under tremendous strain lately since the beginning of this whole terrorism business, and we thought it would be a nice idea to try and help you relax. Girls?
FS Fake Sutler
[Deitrich's girls arrive with a humidor, from where the fake Sutler takes a cigar. Another girl offers him a glass of milk]
Ah! Warm milk. There's nothing better.
G Gordon
I understand you enjoy a glass every night, Chancellor.
FS Fake Sutler
Since I was a boy. [The real Sutler is shown sitting in his bunker while watching, holding a glass of milk] But you're wrong, Mr Deitrich. The terrorist was never a serious concern.
G Gordon
(in background)
Oh, really?
GW Girl with Spectacles
[A prankster dressed as V ties the fake Sutler's shoelaces together, whilst replacing his cigar with an exploding one]
It's him!
G Gordon
Chancellor, Chancellor, are you saying that he's not still alive and active?
FS Fake Sutler
The terrorist has been neutralised.
G Gordon
[The cigar explodes as the fake Sutler huffs from it.]
Oh, my God, Chancellor, look! The terrorist!
FS Fake Sutler
The terrorist! [The camera pans to the fake V among the musicians, scraping a washboard] Get him! [Sutler walks toward the fake V, but having been shoe-laced, stumbles.]
FS Fake Sutler
[As Boots Randolph's "Yakety Sax" plays, the show plays a sped-up chase of V, the girls, and the soldiers, while the fake Sutler still struggles to get off from being shoe-laced. An actor in a gorilla suit appears randomly and bangs his chest with his fists. Gordon then throws a banana peel, and the fake V slips on it, and is tackled by the fake Sutler's soldiers]
At last! And now, for all the world to see!
GW Girl with Spectacles
[The fake Sutler approaches the fake V, now restrained by the soldiers. He unmasks the fake V, who was revealed to be another Sutler impersonator] [As her mother gasps and shakes her head]
It's him!
Unhand me! I am your chancellor!
FS Fake Sutler
[A group of old men, who are watching the show, laugh out loud]
How dare you! I am the chancellor!
[Gordon makes a funny act of confusion, pointing to one fake Sutler after the other]
Imposter! [the two fake Sutlers tackle each other in a farcical fight. Gordon makes a funny act of sympathy before they get back up.] Soldiers! That man is the terrorist!
FS Fake Sutler
I order you to shoot that traitor!
FS Fake Sutlers
[together, as Gordon blocks his ears with his fingers in a funny act of fright]
FIRE!
[The soldiers shoot both fake Sutlers. The curtain closes, the entire public is left laughing and as Gordon bows down to the clapping audience, another fake V sneaks in from the cyclorama, snickering as he holds a cigar. The real Sutler shatters the glass of milk in his hand as he watches]
G Gordon
[Gordon is on the phone to his agent, after his satire of Norsefire is broadcast]
What are they going to do, fine us? Big deal. We've got the most-watched show on air! Well, you're my agent, that's what I pay you for. Protect me! [hangs up] I should have hired him years ago to be my mother.
G Gordon
Either that or I wasn't breast-fed.
Is everything a joke to you, Gordon?
G Gordon
Only the things that matter.
What if they come after you?
G Gordon
I'll tell you what's going to happen. I'll have to make some kind of apology and do some boring fund-raiser, but in the meantime, our ratings will go through the roof. It'll be fine! Trust me.
