Natalie quotes from Urban Legend (1998)

Brenda

What exactly happens when I say Bloody Mary five times?

Natalie

The person standing next to you wonders how you got into college in the first place.

Parker

Wait, wait, wait... scratching on the roof of the car, don't you guys get it? Come on, it's just like that urban legend.

Natalie

What are you talking about?

Parker

Come on, Natalie, Wexler talks about it every semester in class. You know, guy and a girl parked out in the woods, making out-

Brenda

You made out with him?

Parker

Guy steps out of the car and the girl starts to hear these scratching noises on the roof, it's her dead boyfriend, hung from a tree. Damon's in the class, he knew the myth, all right, he must have just planned the whole thing out.
...

Natalie

It's like someone out there is taking all these stories and making them reality.

Natalie

You're **** crazy!

Brenda

I prefer the term eccentric... but, yeah, I guess you could say I'm a little nutty.

Natalie

Why?

Brenda

Why? Why? Why?! You still haven't figured it out, have you? Well, lucky for you, Miss Thang, I got a visual aid. There I am, Natalie, with my boyfriend, the love of my life. Have you found the love of your life yet, Natalie? Of course not, you're too self-involved to bother. Pic ring any bells, Nat?

Natalie

Oh, my God.

Brenda

DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! His name was David Evans, the one you and your friend decided to have a little fun with.

Brenda

Payback's a bitch! Isn't it Natalie?

Natalie

Brenda, please, you need to get help.

Brenda

I have already tried therapy! Obviously it did me no good, Natalie. And I must say, I am kind of enjoying all this, playing with your pretty little head. You used an urban legend to kill my boyfriend, Natalie, and now...

Natalie

What are you gonna do?

Brenda

Oh, just my favorite U.L., the kidney heist. You do know this one, don't ya, Natalie? Guy gets picked up by a woman at a bar, she takes him back to her hotel room, she fixes him a drink, boom! He's knocked out, and when he wakes up he's in a bathtub full of ice and he realizes that one of his kidneys has been removed! [laughs] Supposedly they sell them on the black market, I don't think it's ever actually happened though. Till tonight.

Natalie

This will become a legend too, you know. It'll change a little from person to person, of course. Brenda'll become a guy, you'll become a cop, and I'll end up in some insane asylum.

So, if this is an urban legend, at what point do we get to the twist?

Natalie: You won't get away with this!

Brenda

Natalie, of course I will. I've got the perfect murder in the trunk of Paul's car. WEXLER!

Natalie

You're sick!

Brenda

Professor, does away with his students. Then, kills himself in the same manner as the course he teaches. It's beautiful. IT'S SO **** CLEAN ISN'T IT?! WELL! Enough chat, Nat! Now I'm sorry but I don't have any anesthesia. I guess you'll just have to bite down on that gag and hope you don't go into shock soon now.

Natalie

Please don't do this!

Brenda

Don't you wanna be an Urban Legend? All your friends are now

Brenda

OUCH! STUPID BITCH! (Slaps Natalie) I'm really gonna enjoy wathcing you bleed to death! (Puts the gag back on Natalie's face)

Brenda

Now, is this the kidney? (Stabs Natalie in the stomach) Or is that the liver? I was always such a dope in amenity. Well, who cares, right? First organ I see I'm just gonna grab it!

Drop the weapon!

Brenda

Oh great! Rent-a-cop to the rescue?

Get your hands up! Get up against the wall! You looney psycho bitch! (Turns to Natalie) It's all right, sugar. It's gonna be okay. (Turns to Brenda after Reese untied her as Natalie unties herself from the bed) MOVE IT! MOVE IT!