...but I'm always back in the morning.
Quaid
Arnold Schwarzenegger · 18 quotes
Benny
Mel Johnson Jr. · 3 quotes
Howser
3 quotes
Casts
1 quote
Total Recall quotes
Page 1 of 2...I met a woman and realized I had been playing for the wrong team.
Carl Hauser
[on video]
Howdy, stranger! This is Hauser. If things have gone wrong, I'm talking to myself and you've got a wet towel around your head. Now, whatever your name is, get ready for the big surprise: you are not you, you're me.
Carl Hauser
All my life I worked for Mars Intelligence. I did Cohaagen's dirty work. But a few weeks ago I met somebody, a woman, and I learned a few things, like I'd been playing for the wrong team. All I can do now is try to make up for it. [points to his head] See, there's enough shit in here to **** Cohaagen good! But unfortunately, if you're listening to this, that means that he has got to me first. And here comes the hard part, old buddy - now it is all up to you.
Carl Hauser
First, let's git rid of that bug in your head. [shows the nose device] Take this out of the case, and stick it up your nose. Don't worry, it's self-guiding. Just shove real hard.
Carl Hauser
[Quaid takes a deep breath, and reluctantly sticks the device up his nose]
When you hear a crunch, you're there. Now, pull it out. Be careful! That's my head, too.
Carl Hauser
[Hauser grins while Quaid groans in pain and pulls out the bug]
Now this is the plan: get your ass to Mars, and go to the Hilton and flash the Brubaker I.D. at the desk. That's all there is to it. Just do what I tell you, and you can nail that son of a bitch who **** you and me. I'm counting on you, buddy. Don't let me down!
Harry! Harry! You ever heard of Rekall?
Harry Rekall?
You know, where they sell those fake memories.
Harry Oh, Rekall. "Rekall, Rekall, Rekall!" You thinking of going there?
I don't know, maybe.
Harry Well, don't!
Why not?
Harry A friend of mine tried one their "special offers," nearly got himself lobotomized.
No shit?
Harry Don't **** with your brain, pal! It ain't worth it!
I guess not.
Customs Agent [A shuttle has just docked at Mars. Tourists disembark and are vetted into a processing station, to include a woman in a frumpy dress. A member of Mars Customs looks over her passport]
How long do you plan to spend on Mars, M'aam?
Fat Lady Two weeks.
Customs Agent [stamps passport]
Have you brought any fruits or vegetables onto the planet?
Fat Lady Two weeks.
Customs Agent Excuse me?
Fat Lady Two weeks..two weeks... [starts having a seizure, attracting the attention of everyone. Richter, who is on Mars, pays attention to this odd sight]
Richter [low voice]
Quaid. [normal] That's Quaid!
Captain Everett What?
Richter The woman. Get him... her!
Everett
[points to woman]
Arrest that woman!
[The security troops surround the woman as she stops stuttering and touches her ear. Her head suddenly splits open revealing that it's a mask with Quaid underneath] [smiles at one guard and tosses head]
Catch! [guard does catch the head]
Fat Lady Get ready for a surprise! [Head explodes as Quaid runs past the guard]
[Dr. Edgemar's trying to explain Quaid's situation and offers a special pill with Lori present]
All right, let's say you're telling the truth and this is all a dream, then I could pull this trigger [points gun at Edgemar] and it won't matter.
Lori Doug, don't do it.
Dr. Edgemar It won't make the slightest difference to me Doug. The consequences to you will be devastating. In your mind, I'll be dead, and with no one to guide you out, you'll be stuck in permanent psychosis.
Lori Doug, let Dr Edgemar help you.
Dr. Edgemar The walls of reality will come crashing down. One minute, you'll be the savior of the rebel cause; next thing you know, you'll be Cohaagen's bosom buddy. You even have fantasies about alien civilizations as you requested; but in the end, back on Earth, you'll be lobotomized! [tries to let it sink in Quaid] So get a grip on yourself, Doug, and put down that gun! [Quaid lowers his gun] Take the pill and put it in your mouth.
Dr. Edgemar [Quaid puts the pill in his mouth]
Swallow it.
Lori [Quaid pans around between Edgemar and Lori, then as a sweat drop runs down Edgemar's face, Quaid shoots Edgemar in the head, and spits the pill out]
Now you've done it, now you've done it!
Melina [Quaid and Melina are amazed at the newly terraformed Mars]
I can't believe it, it's like a dream. [sees Quaid distraught] What's wrong?
I just had a terrible thought... what if this is a dream?
Melina Well, then, kiss me quick before you wake up!
Cohaagen [Quaid and Melina find the terbinium oxygen generator's control room. Quaid prepares to activate it, but...] [turns on lights at Quaid]
Don't touch that! Get away! Get back!
What are you afraid of? Turn it on.
Cohaagen Impossible! Once the reaction starts, it'll spread to all the turbinium in the planet. Mars will go into global meltdown. That's why the aliens never turned it on.
And you expect me to believe you?
Cohaagen Who gives a shit what you believe?! In thirty seconds you'll be dead, and I'll [shows detonator] blow this place up and be home in time for Corn Flakes! [shoots several inches near Quaid] I didn't want it to end this way, I wanted Hauser back, but no! You had to be Quaid!
I am Quaid.
Cohaagen You're nothing! You're nobody! You're a stupid dream! [aims firearm] Well, all dreams come to an end.
Richter [Richter visits Martian Administrator Vilos Cohaagen] [upbeat]
Mr Cohaagen. [notices him stoically looking outside] You wanted to see me, sir?
Cohaagen [turns around to look at him]
Richter, do you know why I'm such a happy person?
Richter No, sir.
Cohaagen Because I've got the greatest job in the solar system. As long as the terbinium keeps flowing, I can do anything I want. Anything! [rises from his desk and approaches Richter] In fact, the only thing I worry about is that, one day, if the rebels win, it all might end. [points finger in Richter's face] And you're **** MAKING IT HAPPEN! First, you tried to kill Quaid and then you let him get away.
Richter He had help from our side, sir.
Cohaagen I know that.
Richter But, I thought -
Cohaagen Who told you to THINK? I don't give you enough information to THINK! You do as you're told, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO!
[chances upon another pair of guards after fooling Richter and company with the hologram-bracelet]
Ha ha ha, you think this is the real Quaid? [guards look behind them] It is! [Quaid shoots the guards]
But I've got four kids to feed!
But I've never even been to Mars!!!
Consider that a divorce.
**** you asshole! (bag lady to Quaid)