The Sword in the Stone (1963) · 23 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in The Sword in the Stone (1963): in 10 of its 23 quotes
Most scenes with: Merlin (8), Arthur (7)
Now, let me see. He should be here in, I'd say, half an hour.
Archimedes Who? Who? I'd like to know who!
I told you, Archimedes, I am not sure. All I know is that someone will be coming, someone very important.
Archimedes Oh, pinfeathers!
Fate will direct him to me, so that I, in turn, may guide him to his rightful place in the world.
Well! So, you did drop in for tea after all! Oh, you are a bit late, you know.
Oh, I am?
Yes. Now, my name is Merlin... Come, come, who are you, my lad?
Oh, my name's Arthur, but everyone calls me Wart.
Oh.
Ooh, what a perfect stuffed owl.
Archimedes Stuffed!? I beg your pardon!
He's alive, and he talks.
Oh, big news, eh? Can't wait for the London Times - first edition won't be out for at least [looks at his watch] 1200 years. Archimedes, would you mind sailing down there and-
Archimedes Not interested.
Oh, come now! You're as wet as you can get!
Archimedes NO! No, no, no!
Archimedes! I'll turn you into a human!
Archimedes You wouldn't dare!
I will! So help me, I will!
Archimedes All right! All right!
Works every time. Just like magic!
Science indeed. One dummy trying to knock off another dummy with a bit of a stick.
Archimedes And the Wart's just as hot for it as the rest of them.
Yes. That boy's got real spark, lots of spirit. Throws himself, heart and soul, into everything he does. And that's really worth something. If it could only be turned in the right direction.
Archimedes Ha-ha! Fat chance of that!
Oh, I intend to cheat of course. Use magic! Every last trick in the trade if, I have to.
Archimedes, have you seen that flying machine model?
Archimedes I have nothing to do with your futuristic fiddle-faddle, you know that.
Hmm? Oh, yes, of course. Here we are. [takes it down]
Do you mean man will fly in one of those someday?
Archimedes If man were meant to fly, he'd have been born with wings.
I am about to prove otherwise, Archimedes, if you care to watch. Here she goes! [He tosses it out the window] No, no, no - NO! [The plane unravels from his beard at the wrong angle, and starts to fall out of the sky.]
Archimedes Man will fly, all right! Just like a rock! [The model plane lands in the moat with a crash, and is sunken out of sight. Archimedes then laughs harder.]
It would have worked if... if it weren't for this infernal beard! [Archimedes continues to laugh hysterically.] Man will fly someday, I tell you! I have been there! I have seen it!
Oh, I do hope so. I've always dreamed about flying; that I was a bird and that I could go sailing all over the sky, high above everything... [Merlin sneaks up behind him and quietly changes him into a sparrow] It's my favorite dream. [sighs] But then, I suppose everyone dreams about flying-- [notices his new form; happily] I'm a bird, I'm a bird, I'm a bird! [starts to flutter clumsily out the window]
Hold it, boy! Not so fast, not so fast. First, I'd better explain the mechanics of a bird's wing. [grabs Archimedes' wing and runs his finger along the feathers] Now, these large feathers are called the primaries, and--
Archimedes And since when do you know all about birds' wings?
I have made an extensive study of birds in flight, and--
Archimedes And if you don't mind, I happen to be a bird!
All right, Mr. Know-It-All! He's your pupil! [sets Arthur down firmly]
Ouch!
Archimedes Now boy, flying is not merely some crude mechanical process. [clears his throat offensively at Merlin, who clears his throat in return] It is a delicate art. Purely aesthetic! Poetry of motion! And the best way to learn it is to do it.
Oh, I'm not really a sparrow, I'm a boy.
A boy?!
Merlin changed me with his magic. He's the world's most powerful wizard.
Merlin? [laughs] Oh, Merlin - the world's most powerful bungler! Why, boy, I've got more magic in one little finger! Now don't tell me you've never heard of the marvelous Madame Mim?
Well, no, I don't guess so.
Archimedes Madame Mim! [flies off] Good heavens, good heavens, good heavens...!
Why, boy, I'm the greatest! I'm truly marvellous! [sings] With only a touch, I have the power, zim-zam-rim-vim, to whither a flower! I find delight in the gruesome and grim!
Oh, that's terrible.
Thank you, my boy. But that's nothing, nothing to me. Because I'm the magnificent, marvellous, mad Madame Mim!
She was going to destroy me!
And just what are you gonna do about it? Want to fight?! Want to have a wizard's duel?! [slaps Merlin across the face provokingly]
Well, come on. Step outside!
After you, Madame.
Archimedes Wha--?! What's up, boy, what's going on?
They're having a wizard's duel. What's that mean?
Oh, it's a battle of wits. The players change themselves into different things in an attempt to... to destroy one another.
D-d-destroy?
Archimedes Just watch, boy, just watch. You'll get the idea.
Now! First of all, if you don't mind, I'll make the rules.
Archimedes Rules indeed! Ha ha ha! Why, she only wants rules so she can break them!
I'll take care of you later, featherbrain. [Archimedes huffs; to Merlin] Now, Rule 1: No minerals or vegetables, only animals. Rule 2: No make-believe things like, oh, pink dragons and stuff. Rule 3: No disappearing. [squeezes his nose playfully]
Rule 4: No cheating!
Merlin, look! I'm a squire! [Merlin, angry and disappointed by Arthur's decision, scoffs and goes back to his stove]
Archimedes Oh, uh...very nice, boy.
Yes indeed. A fine monkey suit for polishing boots!
And I thought you were going to amount to something! [Gets up out of his chair] I thought you had a few brains! [Kicks over a stack of books] Great future! Hah! A stooge for that big lunk, Kay! Congratulations, boy!
What do you-What do you want me to be?! I'm nobody! You...You don't know a thing about what's going on today! [Archimedes gasps] I'm lucky to be Kay's squire!
Oh! Of all the idiotic...! BLOW ME TO BERMUDA! [He magically rockets off to Bermuda]
Where...W-where did he go?
Archimedes To Bermuda, I suppose.
Where's that?
Archimedes Oh, an island way off somewhere that hasn't been discovered yet.
Will he...ever come back?
Archimedes Who knows? Who knows anything?
It's a miracle, ordained by Heaven. This boy is our King!
Well, by Jove...
What's the lad's name?
Eh, Wart. Oh, uh, I mean, Arthur.
Hail King Arthur!
HAIL KING ARTHUR! LONG LIVE THE KING!
Archimedes I can't believe it!
Oh, please don't, sir.
Kay, bow down to your King.
So at last, the miracle had come to pass in that far-off time upon New Year's Day, and the glorious reign of King Arthur was begun.
Oh, Merlin! You're back from Ber-ber-ber-
Bermuda? Yes, back from Bermuda and the 20th century! And believe me, you can have it! One big modern mess! Alakazam! [magically changes back into his regular clothes]
I'm in an awful pickle! I'm King!
Archimedes He pulled the Sword from the Stone.
Round Table?
Oh, would you rather have a square one?
Oh, no, round will be fine.
Boy, boy, boy - you'll become a great legend. They'll be writing books about you for centuries to come. Why, they might even make a motion picture about you.
Motion picture?
Well, uh.... that's something like television. Without commercials.
