Guy [While torturing Buddy]
It makes me feel so much better.
Played by Frank Whaley 
Swimming with Sharks (1994) · 20 quotes
Swimming with Sharks (1994) · 20 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Swimming with Sharks (1994): in 9 of its 20 quotes
Most scenes with: Buddy Ackerman (5)
I want you, to think and remember, every insult, every offence, everything you have ever taken away from me. Think to yourself. Its pay back time.
More lines from Guy
2 quotes Guy Guy You can't imagine what I've come up with. [shows Buddy an envelope] Paper cuts, now they can be a bitch, occupational hazard I guess. But I bet its been a while since you've had one. Me, I'm starting to get used to them. [slices the envelope into Buddy's face] Stings, doesn't it? Well, like I said, you'll get used to them.
Scenes with Guy
6 scenes
Excuse me — what is this?
Guy Sweet-N-Low.
[Looks at the packet]
No! this is not Sweet-N-Low, this is Equal, the blue packet. Sweet-N-Low is pink. See, Equal blue, Sweet-N-Low pink, its not the same thing, is it?
Guy I think they both contain the same...
What Equal contains is none of my concern here! I don't care if it has **** fairy dust in it. What I am concerned with is detail. I asked you go get me a packet of Sweet-N-Low. You bring me back Equal. That isn't what I asked for. That isn't what I wanted. That isn't what I needed and that shit isn't going to work around here!
Guy I, I just thought...
You thought. Do me a **** favor. Shut up, listen, and learn. Look, I know that this is your first day and you don't really know how things work around here, so I will tell you. You have no brain. No judgement calls are necessary. What you think means nothing. What you feel means nothing. You are here for me. You are here to protect my interests and to serve my needs. So, while it may look like a little thing to you, when I ask for a packet of Sweet-N-Low, that's what I want. And it's your responsibility to see that I get what I want.
You wanna talk big directors? Think Attenborough, think Spielberg, think Lean.
Guy Lean's dead.
No, he's not, don't you ever say that! He's just... unavailable.
Get me packed up, I gotta get to services.
Guy What services? Who died?
No one... yet. It's Yom Kippur, you idiot.
Guy Oh, I didn't realize Ackerman was a Jewish name.
It's Jewish enough, especially when the big players are involved. [sarcastically] Besides, I have a sudden need to atone for my sins.
Guy That's a bagel stain.
Dawn
Bagel stain?
Guy I put too much cream cheese on Buddy's bagel and he threw it at me. But I learned a very valuable lesson... never put too much cream cheese on Buddy's bagel.
Guy That's another thing. All this time that I've worked for you, I still don't know a thing about your ex-wife. Jesus, there's not even a trace or a picture in the whole house. Was she beautiful?
Yes.
Guy Did you love her?
Yes.
Guy How nice. When she coming home? [lights a cigarette] I forgot, she left you.
What do you want?
Guy What do I want? What do I want? [thinks for a moment] Tell me a story. Tell me about a young Buddy in love with a woman who just didn't want him. Was it a painful separation? Did you find her in the passionate throes of a secret lover? Did you take it from everything she had? Or did the lousy bitch only get half?
She died.
Guy [taken aback]
Oh. [sarcastically] Well, is that all? Well, boo-hoo! What a line. "My wife just died, can you come home with me. Hold me. Love me. **** me." Christ, you are such an asshole!
[numb]
Christmas eve, twelve years ago. She was on her way to the mall. I was supposed to have gone with her. We hadn't started our Christmas shopping yet, but it was going to be simple, just some stuff for our parents. Money was tight and shopping was a hassle anyway. We even promised not to give each other gifts. On the way, there was a car that had broken down, Mallory pulled over to help. I always told her that she was such a busybody, but she called it "just being nice". She got out and asked if everything was all right, or something stupid. Anyway, it was a scam, bunch of punk kids stealing cars. They shot her. [pause] And all this time, I was stuck at the office wrapping Christmas gifts for my boss. A lot of gifts, we had a good year, that year - I was there till 3 A.M. And the whole time I'm thinking to myself, "Oh boy, she is gonna be pissed. When I get home, I am a dead man". [pause] Anyway, I got home, got the message, went down to the hospital to identify her. It was a whole week into the new year before I found them, these stupid wind up toys and a note: "In the constant rat race of life, don't ever forget to unwind". [pause] She was never any good at writing notes.
Guy [sheepish]
Look, I didn't know...
Oh, Guy didn't know! imagine that! Boy genius here didn't know something!
What, you think somebody just handed me this job? I've handled the phones, I've juggled the bimbos, I've put up with the tyrants, the yellers, the screamers. I've done more than you can even imagine in that small mind of yours. I paid my dues!
Guy I didn't spend one year...
And I spent 10! Dammit, it's my turn to be selfish! it's my turn. That's the trouble with your whole MTV, microwave dinner generation. You want it all now. You think you deserve it just because you want it? It doesn't work like that. You have to earn it, you have to take it, you have to make it yours. but before you do that, Guy, you need to decide what it is you really want.
Guy I want you to stop calling me in the middle of the night! I want you to stop sending me the **** office for your goddamn phone numbers or your **** sunglasses! I want my life back!
What life? I gave you life. Before me, you were nothing. Before me, you were an ink spot, and now you're playing in the majors! I made you. You will always be "Guy from Buddy Ackerman's office"! You wanna go back to your shitty little existence? Go ahead. Leave. There's the door. No one's stopping you. You could have left any day, but you stayed. So let's just forget the Dudley-damn-Doright crap, because out here it's kill your parents, **** your friends, and have a nice day!
