Stir Crazy (1980) · 17 quotes
Skip Donahue
This filthy, roach-ridden reality is inspiring... What did that second policeman say to you when he grabbed you by the throat?
Harry Monroe
Man, I don't **** believe you!
Skip Donahue
"Man, I don't **** believe you!" Fabulous!
Harry Monroe
You don't get it, do you, Skip? You think this is The Count of Monte Cristo or something. We're in deep trouble. This is the real deal. We're in deep shit.
Harry Monroe
Yeah, that's right! That's right! We bad!
Harry Monroe
Yes, I'm a short son of a bitch, my daddy was a short son of a bitch, my mother was shorter than him, and my brother, my brother was so short we couldn't even see him.
Blade
The rodeo clown is the most DANGEROUS job, 'cause he gets CLOSEST to the BULL. He gets the BEST of the BULL! HOOK to the left! HOOK to the right! And if the bull rider's in trouble, he's gotta protect him, even if it means gettin' his ribs pulled out, or bein' freight-trained...
Harry Monroe
Freight-trained?
Blade
Run over, just like a freight train, only with a bull, it's worse, cause a freight train don't BACK UP and FINISH the JOB. Later on, I'll show you how to lie out on the stretcher when the ambulance comes.
Blade
Now every bull has a secret word that makes him crazy, and sends him into his craziest ride, your job is to figure out that word.
Harry Monroe
Bull... uh... let's see. Uh... Rumpelstiltskin. Uh... Malt liquor... Come on, bull. [whistles and makes kissing noises] Come on, bull. Uh... woof, woof! Uh... [makes clicking sound with tongue] Hey, sexy... Hee-hee... shit! [Bull bellows and charges at Harry] [running away from bull] Oh, you mother****er!
Blade
Congratulations, you found the word!
Skip Donahue
What are you doing?
Harry Monroe
I'm gettin' bad. You better get bad, Jack. 'Cause if you ain't bad, you're gonna get ****.
Harry Monroe
125 years... Oh God, Oh God... I'll be 161 when I get out.
What's the charge?
Harry Monroe
Innocent.
Ain't we all?
Harry Monroe
Bank robbery?
Oh, shit.
Harry Monroe
Ooooh, shit!
You can kiss the baby.
Harry Monroe
Kiss the baby?
Skip Donahue
What baby is that, sir?
Ask your lawyer.
Harry Monroe
Pillow... I want my pillow.
Rory
That's Blade. He runs the third world side of Cell Block 2. My dear, till Grossberger came along he held the axe murder record in the south-west! He's the one I'm gonna get you the cheeseburger from. How do you like it, medium?
Harry Monroe
Oh no, I don't want no cheeseburger, I'm trying to, er, keep my weight down.
Rory
Don't worry about him, I'll protect you. I'll protect you!
Harry Monroe
I'm getting a little podge.
Rory
For some reason, I make him uneasy!
Harry Monroe
I wonder why. Hi. [waves at Blade] I'm going! [calls after Skip] Skip, my friend. [then, to Rory] Excuse me, would you?
Rory
I'll come with you.
Harry Monroe
Awwwww... shit!
