Sister Mary Clarence quotes from Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993)

If you want to be somebody, if you want to go somewhere, you better wake up and pay attention.

If you wake up in the morning, and you can't think anything but singing, then you should be a singer, girl.

Hey, hey - excuse me! It is NOT Maria's fault, that she does not know that Mary had a lamb. It is not - and I say this to you - it is *not* Maria's fault. Because maybe, MAYBE where Maria came from, Mary had a dog! Or a lil kitty cat! Or a little bald headed brother named Bart! It is NOT her fault and we're not going to tell her it is, are we? No, we are not!

Do you know what I hate most about this place? There is nothing to pick up and throw.

You lied to me and you're gonna go to hell.

And the first thing you're gonna do, gentlemen, is take off those hats. This is a brand... new... day. [Class laughs at boys' hair] I guess that means you're gonna be combing your hair before you come to my class. [To girl behind Rita] And, I know you're laughing over there 'cause you think this is very funny, Miss Thing, but there is no sun in this room, you will not get a tan. Take off those sunglasses. [Turns to "hat" boys] That goes for you, too. If they're not prescription, I don't wanna see 'em. I want to see YOU, I want to be able to look into YOUR eyes, I want you to be able to look into mine.

So because you think they sang it better you all are ready to leave 'cause you got scared? Aw yea, nah, that's your MO. See that's how you operate: Ooo, something new, better run away! Forget about all the people who busted their butt to get you here 'cause they believed in you. Let me remind you of something, ok: if you wanna go somewhere and you wanna be somebody, you better wake up and pay attention. Because if every time something scary comes up you decide to run, y'all gonna be running for the rest of your lives.

We'll just call you Rita, Diva with a 'Tude.

You, chewing that gum, you look like Mr. Ed.

Hurry up, I wouldn't want any of those spiders to get in those weaves some of you are wearing, I can tell.

I got the flow, you all gotta go, so pick up your bags so we can go, ho-ho! Uh-huh, ow, ow, NOW! Thank you, thank you.

I'm gonna turn you guys into a choir.

Get up off of that thing!

Ain't no mountain high enough.

We are family / I got all my sisters with me / We are family / Get up everybody and sing!

What the hell are you doing?

I'm undercover again.

Ahmal James

Rumor has it that you're a Las Vegas showgirl?

Let's get one thing straight, my dear Ahmal. I am not, nor have I ever been, a Las Vegas showgirl. I am a headliner!

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Please take your seats. Do it quickly and quietly. Welcome to the first day of your new scholastic lives. This is no longer a bird course. The bird has flown. If you want to pass this course, you gonna have to earn it, 'cause I have no problems, not one, failing each and every one of you.

Yo. I never thought this was no bird course.

I'm glad for you. Very, very glad. Because this is a new day. Things are going to be a little different around here.

Frankie

Oh, yeah?

Uh-huh.

Frankie

Like how?

Like when I talk, Fran-KAY, you don't! [Some girls pass notes around and when it got to Maria, she giggled. Sister Mary Clarence walks to her and points to the note] Is this somethin' you wanna share with the rest of the class?

No, I'm just kickin' it with my girl.

Well. I'll tell you what. You gonna kick it with me, or I'm gonna kick you out! What you think of THAT? Put 'em away. [Margaret is looking in her compact and putting blush on her face] And you. This is not Elizabeth Arden, Miss Thing. You wanna beat that mug of yours, you do it before you come to my class. You understand me? Put it away. [Sketch has his head down on his desk] And you. Sketch. I like you a lot. But I don't want you catchin' z's in my class no more.

I be tired. I got a job l...

Baby, save it for Ǫprąh. This is a brand-new day, ladies and gentlemen. A BRAND-new day. We're gonna start with respect. You're gonna respect me and I'm gonna respect you.

Oh... Remember. Nothing ever is bad as it seems at first. Fight the good fight.

Okay.

Sursum corda.

Wait a minute, what was that?

It's Latin. It means "lift up your heart".

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you said "insert some quarters." I don't know if I'm cut out for this.

You're jokin' me. The children are waiting.

Thanks. Yeah. Ain't they?

Cold beans, hey and collard greens...

Hey, cold beans... Oh. No. See. That's why your mama deejays for the ice-cream truck. [Male student points at her with her supporters pointing back and excitedly burst out exclaiming in triumphant camaraderie]
...

Your mama is so fat. She sat on a rainbow and Skittles popped out. That's why your mother's so fat. She's on both sides of the rainbow.

Keep the faith. Sister. Just keep the faith. Remember. Our Lord said. "O be ye strong of will."

And ye better be tough as nails too.

Yeah. [To class] Good morning. I'd like to introduce myself. Would you all put your seats back in order. Please?

Watch my shoes. Watch my new shoes!

I have this funny problem with my ears. I don't like a lot of noise. So maybe you could do it quietly? Thank you so much. I'd like to introduce myself. My name is Sister Mary Clarence. And I am...

Frankie

Yo mama?

No. Sir. Let's talk about your mama... who's so dumb she got hit by a parked car. Thank you. Let's try attendance.

I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Tyler Chase... and on behalf of the whole music class as we are...

Tyler. Tyler. You got a little something on your nose. [Gestures on nose]

Rita

Yeah. Tyler. A big. Big brown thing right around here. "Hello. I'm Tyler Chase." [Gestures on nose]

Thank you. Mr. Chase. Richard Pincham.

Wake up. Fool! [Throws writing utensil at him with head down on desk]

Paper or plastic?

I beg your pardon. Are you Richard?

Yeah.

Did you do these?

Yeah. S-S-Sorry. Sorry.

Let me see.

That's why they call me Sketch. I do sketches. Sorry.

These are real good.

Thanks.

Try to stay awake in my class. Though. All right. All right. Wesley James. Wesley Glen James.

Respectfully. My sister... James is the slave name forced upon my ancestors. While Wesley. That's some name my assimilationist parents came up with. But today. In honour of all my brothers and sisters who died in the struggle, I wish to be called by my true name; Ahmal M'jomo Jamaael, which means; "He who is spirited."

And long-winded.

Yeah. A simple "present" would've done it. Bro.

And who are you?

Fran-kay. Hey, ho, hey, ho, check it out. Check it out. Hello there, miss, and let me kick an introduction, flute, violin, bass guitar and then percussion.

Man. That's white. Man.

..it seems you are a sister...

Man. Just stop. Can't you come up with your own thing? Or must you continually come behind my people and steal our expressions? First jazz. Then rock and roll. Now rap. What you gonna try to take next. Man?

I'm gonna take your girl if you ain't careful.

Keep talkin' there. Boy.

Excuse me. Let's leave this display of manhood outside. Shall we? Thank you so much.

Rita

Yo. Could we hurry this up. Some of us got things to do.

Word up.

Rita

You know what I'm sayin'? Goodness.

Are you Rita Watson?

Rita

Yeah. That's me. And I'm sorry I don't have any cute stories or antidotes to tell you.

Anecdote.

Rita

Ahmal. Shut up. Mind your business. [Shoves him]

Well. How 'bout we just call you Rita Diva-with-a-'tude?

Rita

Hey. Sister. Maybe I can help you out? Are we all here?

Yeah!

Rita

We're here.

Thank you. All right. what have you been doin'?

Is she jokin'? Chillin'.

All right. Let me give you an easier question.

Where are the music books?

Up there. [All point to ceiling covered excessively in spitballs]

Oh.

Rita

Maybe I should explain something to you. Sister. See. Um. This is what we call a bird course. Now. The reason we call it a bird course is because we. Uh... [All students make bird wing gestures] fly right through it. See. All you gotta do to pass in this class is show up.

Hmm. So you come to class... you do nothing and you pass?

Rita

Oh. No. We don't exactly do nothing. We have a good time. Too. Yo. Frankie.

Hey Father Thomas, what's happenin'?

Father Thomas

What's happening is I've been sent to deliver a message like I'm working for Western Union instead of the Roman Catholic Church.

Mother Superior

You are the perfect example of a how a sow's ear can be turned into a silk purse.

Hmm. Well, I probably wouldn't put it quite like that.

Oh no, no, no... Jenny Craig, I just couldn't, thank you so much.

Father Maurice

This, uh... needs a prayer.

Yes, Miss Watson?

Rita Watson

We don't want no new way. The old way was fine for us. [Turns to class] Right? [Class agrees] So, if you're gonna fail us, you might as well just go ahead, 'cause we ain't doing nothing!

Fine. If that's the way you feel, there's the door. Don't let it hit you in the butts on the way out.

Yo, yo, Sis... I can't afford to fail this class!

You better tell your friend you can't afford to fail this class!

My parents wouldn't be pleased.

Rita Watson

Come on, ya'll, we ain't gotta take this from her! Come on! Sketch, come on, man. [Sketch shakes head no] Fran-kay?

Frankie

Yo, Rita, you know I'm usually down for stuff like this. But, I'm gonna take care of business this time.

A little lonely on that limb by yourself, Miss Watson?

Rita Watson

So much for friendship! [Storms out door]

Rita Watson

I've got a lot of reasons I can't explain, but I have to leave the choir.

Sister Mary Lazarus

Give us back our consent form.

Stop that!

Mother Superior

We are desperate women.

Hmm mmm.

Good Morning, Ladies and Gentleman. Please take your seats, do it quickly and do it quietly. Welcome to the first day of your new scholastic lives. This is no longer a bird course, the bird has flown. If you want to pass this class, you're gon' have to earn it 'cause I have no problems, not one, failing each and every one of you.

Yo, I never thought this was no bird class.

I'm glad for you, very, very glad because this is a new day. Things are going to be a little different around here.

Frankie

Oh, yeah?

Uh-huh.

Frankie

Like how?

Like when I talk, Fran-kay, you don't! Is this something you want to share with the rest of the class?

No, I'm just kicking it with my girl.

Well, I tell you what, you gon' kick it with me or I'm gonna kick you out. What do you think of that? Put 'em away. And you, this is not Elizabeth Arden, Miss Thing. If you want to beat that mug of yours, you do it at home, before you come to my class, you understand me? Put it away. And you, Sketch, I like you a lot, but I don't you to be catching Z's in my class no more.

I be tired, I got a job-...

Baby, save it for Oprah. This is a brand new day, ladies and gentlemen, a brand new day. We're gonna start with respect. You're gonna respect me and I'm gonna respect you. And the first thing you're gonna do, gentlemen, is take off those hats. This is a brand... new... day. I guess that means you're gonna start combing your hair before you come to class. And I know you're laughing over there 'cause you think this is funny, Miss Thing. There is no sun in this room, you will not get a tan, take off those sunglasses, that goes for you, too. If they're not prescription, I don't wanna see 'em. I want to see you, I want to be able to look into your eyes and I want you to be able to look into mine. Yes, Miss Watson?

Rita Watson

We don't want no new way, the old way was fine with us. Right? So, if you gon' fail us, you might as well go ahead 'causee... I ain't doin' nothin'.

Fine, that's how you feel? There's the door. Don't let it hit you in the butts on the way out.

Yo, yo, Sis, I can't afford to fail this class.

You better tell your friends you can't afford to fail this class.

My parents wouldn't be pleased.

Rita Watson

Come on, ya'll, we ain't gotta take this from her! Come on! Sketch, come on, man.

*Shakes his head*

Rita Watson

Fran-kay?

Frankie

Yo, Rita, you know I'm usually down for stuff like this, but... I'm gonna take care of business this time.

A little lonely out on that limb by yourself, Miss Watson?

Rita Watson

So much for friendship.

All right, let's get down to business. If you wanna be somebody, if you wanna go somewhere, you better wake up and pay attention 'cause there's a real world out there and they don't care how hip you think you are or who you kick it with. It don't matter. You ain't got an education, you ain't got nothing.

We are going to fix this!

Sister Mary Lazarus

You said we as in you're staying?

Yes we, as in yes I am staying!