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Role Models

Role Models quotes

53 total quotes



View Quote Augie: Hey, Danny, you wanna come see my turtle?
Danny: I'm fine.
Ronnie: Of course he has a turtle.
View Quote Augie: Naysayers tell me "You should be embarrassed", "You should not be fighting", "You look like a young Marvin Hamlisch". I say "Nay, I am not embarrassed", "I will fight", "Who the **** is Marvin Hamlisch?"
Danny: He wrote the music for The Sting.
Wheeler: That's a good movie.
View Quote Barista: Good morning, can I take your order?
Beth: Can I get a tall chai?
Danny: And a large black coffee.
Barista: A what?
Danny: Large black coffee.
Barista: Do you mean a Venti?
Danny: No, I mean a large.
Beth: He means a Venti. Yeah, the biggest one you got.
Barista: Venti is large.
Danny: No, Venti is twenty.
Beth: Danny.
Danny: Yeah. "Large" is large. In fact, "Tall" is large. And "Grandé" is Spanish for "Large."
Beth: Danny?
Danny: Venti's the only one that doesn't mean large. It's also the only one that's Italian. [sarcastically] Congratulations, you're stupid in three languages.
Barista: [annoyed and irritated] Look, dick. Venti is a large coffee.
Danny: Really? Says who? Fellini?
Beth: [to Barista] How much is that? Here's a $10.
Danny: [to Barista] Do you, uh, accept lira, or is it all Euros now?
Beth: [to Barista] You know what, just keep the change. [to Danny, annoyed] Jesus, Dan, you know what they call the sizes here. You know what, you've been picking fights with everybody. The girl at the party--
Danny: She said ASAP.
Beth: [sarcastically] Oh, ASAP. Oh, I'm sorry. Huge crime.
Danny: It's like "24/7," or "Been there, done that." You hate that, too.
Beth: I don't hate it enough to let it ruin my day. Ugh. It's getting worse. You know, man, the sun is shining. But you have lost the ability to take any joy in life. I-I can't stand it anymore! You're just a miserable dick now! You're mean to everybody! And F.Y.I. (For your information), it's called a Venti because it's 20 ounces! 20! Venti!
[Beth storms out, and Danny looks at his coffee]
Danny: [to everyone; curiously] Is that true?
View Quote Beth: Danny! What is your problem?
Danny: I'm sorry, alright? I'm not Wheeler, happy in some brainless job. No goals, no ambition.
Beth: You don't know how Wheeler feels. For all you know he hates his job as much as you do.
Wheeler: I love this job!
Guy: Hey Wheeler, she's tasting your beast!
View Quote Beth: Yes, Wheeler?
Wheeler: This may be a stupid question. The Get Out of Jail Free Card: Is that real?
Beth: That's not a stupid question.
Danny: It's real in the game of Monopoly.
Wheeler: Yeah it's based on true events.
Danny: Like what?
Wheeler: Chance.
View Quote Danny: (while urinating neon green liquid) Jeez, it's like Shrek's piss.
View Quote Danny: Do you like coke?
Augie: I like the idea of it more than I actually like it.
View Quote Danny: Eight hours down, 142 to go.
Wheeler: This sucks ass.
Danny: Dude, I just spent the afternoon in Middle-earth with glee-glop and the floopty-doos, all right? Give me a ****ing break.
View Quote Danny: Goddamn it, Ronnie!
Ronnie: What? Because I'm black you think I did it?
Danny: No, 'cause you did it is why I think you did it. (Ronnie jumps on tent pole) Let me tell you something, I am not your Big, and I'll hit you. I will hit a child. I've never done that before, but I will punch you in the face.
Ronnie: Let's dance, Ben Affleck!
View Quote Danny: Hey, pick us up in two hours.
Ronnie: **** you, Miss Daisy.
View Quote Danny: I bet if i suggested a game of Quidditch, he'd **** in his pants.
View Quote Danny: I'm in a rut, we're in a rut. Let's shake things up. I have an idea, let's get married! I don't have a ring...
View Quote Danny: It's not you, I hate having dinner with people.
View Quote Danny: Man, why do you bow for that guy?
Augie: Because he's the king, and he rules the entire realm.
Danny: Oh, he rules the entire realm? Oh, my bad. Is that when he is or isn't whacking it to The Sims?
View Quote Danny: No, I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.