N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Barista: Good morning, can I take your order?
Beth: Can I get a tall chai?
Danny: And a large black coffee.
Barista: A what?
Danny: Large black coffee.
Barista: Do you mean a Venti?
Danny: No, I mean a large.
Beth: He means a Venti. Yeah, the biggest one you got.
Barista: Venti is large.
Danny: No, Venti is twenty.
Beth: Danny.
Danny: Yeah. "Large" is large. In fact, "Tall" is large. And "Grandé" is Spanish for "Large."
Beth: Danny?
Danny: Venti's the only one that doesn't mean large. It's also the only one that's Italian. [sarcastically] Congratulations, you're stupid in three languages.
Barista: [annoyed and irritated] Look, dick. Venti is a large coffee.
Danny: Really? Says who? Fellini?
Beth: [to Barista] How much is that? Here's a $10.
Danny: [to Barista] Do you, uh, accept lira, or is it all Euros now?
Beth: [to Barista] You know what, just keep the change. [to Danny, annoyed] Jesus, Dan, you know what they call the sizes here. You know what, you've been picking fights with everybody. The girl at the party--
Danny: She said ASAP.
Beth: [sarcastically] Oh, ASAP. Oh, I'm sorry. Huge crime.
Danny: It's like "24/7," or "Been there, done that." You hate that, too.
Beth: I don't hate it enough to let it ruin my day. Ugh. It's getting worse. You know, man, the sun is shining. But you have lost the ability to take any joy in life. I-I can't stand it anymore! You're just a miserable dick now! You're mean to everybody! And F.Y.I. (For your information), it's called a Venti because it's 20 ounces! 20! Venti!
[Beth storms out, and Danny looks at his coffee]
Danny: [to everyone; curiously] Is that true?

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