Sheriff of Nottingham I can't do this with all that racket!
3rd most-quoted character in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991): in 12 of its 67 quotes
Most scenes with: Mortianna (3), Maid Marian (2), Sir Guy of Gisborne (2)
Locksley, I'm gonna cut your heart out with a spoon!
More lines from Sheriff of Nottingham
4 quotes Sheriff of Nottingham Sheriff of Nottingham Do you mind Locksley? We've just been married.
Sheriff of Nottingham Just a minute. Robin Hood steals money from my pocket, forcing me to hurt the public, and they love him for it? That's it, then! Cancel the kitchen scraps for lepers and orphans, no more merciful beheadings, and call off Christmas!
Sheriff of Nottingham (after running Guy through)
Well at least I didn't use a spoon.
Scenes with Sheriff of Nottingham
7 scenes Sheriff of Nottingham Cousin, I justify your intrusion with news of profound value?
I met a hooded man today who made me warn you not to harm his people.
Sheriff of Nottingham Who told you to cover up? His name?
Robin of Locksley.
Sheriff of Nottingham The prodigal son returns. He's a whelp! This girl could best him. Put it there!
Yes, well, this whelp has bested four of my men.
Sheriff of Nottingham Yes, well, your men were probably drunk. And yet you survived, cousin.
I've barely survived. He has a companion, a dark skinned foreigner with a dark face of Islam and a Saracens sword.
Sheriff of Nottingham Yes, yes, I'm sure it would take an army to match these rogues. I trust Locksley's visit to his manor and found the home fires still burning!
Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe?
Sheriff of Nottingham Because it's dull, you twit! It'll hurt more! I want this brigand found. Starve them out, slaughter there... No, take their live stock. I want Locksley's own people fighting to bring his head in.
Perhaps, we could create a name for him. Something to drive fear in the hearts of the populace, maybe "Locksley the Lethal" or "Wreaking Robin".
Sheriff of Nottingham Whatever! I want him dead by the next full moon, before the barons come back. Now, sew... and keep the stitches small!
Sheriff of Nottingham In ten days time, the barons are coming. Robin Hood has stolen what I was to pay for their alliance. And I'm surrounded by fools who do not realize my obligations. Tell me, Mortianna. Am I affronted?
Recruit the beasts that share our god.
Sheriff of Nottingham Animals?
From the North.
Sheriff of Nottingham You mean celts? They drink the blood of their dead!
Yoke their strengths.
Sheriff of Nottingham Hired thugs... Ahh, briliant!
Put thine own issue on the throne?
Sheriff of Nottingham A child, how?
Alive with royal blood.
Sheriff of Nottingham Who?
Sheriff of Nottingham What a beautiful child. So young, so alive, so unaware of how precarious life can be. I had a very sad childhood, I'll tell you about it sometime. I never knew my parents; it's amazing I'm sane. Marian, our union would allow these children to grow up as my allies. You understand... I cannot allow them to grow up as my enemies.
I have no choice.
Sheriff of Nottingham That's true.
Sheriff of Nottingham Will you keep the noise down, please? Now I have heard that Robin Hood may still be alive. Either tell me where he may be hiding, or you will all be hanged and we will catch him anyway and do the same thing to him.
I'd love to kill him for you.
Wulf Will, no!
Sheriff of Nottingham So he is alive, then?
I'm not really sure.
Sheriff of Nottingham Then why would I need you?
Because, my lord, if he is alive, I can get close to him. I'm one of his men. He would never suspect me.
Wulf He knows you always hated him, traitor!
Sheriff of Nottingham, Will Scarlett
Shut up!
He's trusting fool. He'll believe me. And if he doesn't, he'll kill me. Then you've lost nothing.
Sheriff of Nottingham If you fail, I will personally remove your lying tongue.
And if I succeed, I get my freedom and the bounty on his head.
Sheriff of Nottingham The lash, I think! Sorry about that. It'll make it more convincing.
Bishop of Hereford It's rebellion, my lord. We must escape.
Sheriff of Nottingham Marry us!
I will never marry you!
Sheriff of Nottingham [Mortianna slaps Marian hard]
That's my wife, crone!
She is ripe. She will give us a son. You must take her now.
Sheriff of Nottingham I will not take her until we are properly wed! For once in my life, I will have something pure. Will you stop interfering?
Bishop of Hereford It's madness to delay.
Marry them or face me!
You come early. The signs have not aligned yet.
Sheriff of Nottingham And you can stop all that, you old fake!
I will try for thee anyway... The union. The blood of the lion and the house of Nottingham. New power, new soul.
Sheriff of Nottingham I've found the hole! You dare to spy on me? I want the truth.
Why? Truth has never served you before. Truth didn't put Nottingham where he is today. Mortianna did.
Sheriff of Nottingham You freakish imp, I despise you. After the wedding, you're on the streets. Without my protection, the people will rip out your black heart and burn it!
Without me, you're nothing. You're straw. A fleabite. A speck. I birthed you from this body. I stole a babe in this very castle and killed it. So that you might rise in its place. You're my son. You despise me? You are me. You know, from your empty soul, that is the truth. All my life, I've been a freak. But when you stud the Lady Marian. My grandchild takes the throne. My blood. This twisted seed will rule through him. We'll see who's freakish then.
