Man
( shouts, grunts ) ( yowls ) ( evil table thuds at once )
Oh! Ow! Ohh! You cannot run forever, Puss In Boots!
Humpty Alexander Dumpty
Zach Galifianakis · 12 quotes
Puss in Boots
Antonio Banderas · 12 quotes
Puss
Antonio Banderas · 8 quotes
Comandante
Guillermo del Toro · 6 quotes
Kitty
Salma Hayek Pinault · 4 quotes
Kitty Softpaws
Salma Hayek Pinault · 2 quotes
Puss in Boots quotes
Page 1 of 4
Andy "Jack" Beanstalk WHOO! HO! No, no! Don't stop on my account. Well, it looks like the egg got what he wanted?
You talking about Humpty?
Andy Beanstalk
[stabbles]
Don't say his name! I used to share this cell with that smelly thing. The happiest day of my life was when he left, till I realized he stole my magic beans.
Wait, wait, wait! You had the beans? Who are you? [the prisoner has fallen asleep snoring loudly, Puss wakes him up] Hey! What's your name?
Andy Beanstalk
Andy Beanstalk, but my friends call me Jack! I traded the family cow for them beans. Of course, it wasn't my family's cow, some other family's cow. That's why I got 8 to 10 years. Always know which cow's yours… [falls asleep again snoring loudly]
Crazy man. WAKE UP! [Andy wakes up again] What else do you know?
Andy Beanstalk
We're all goners, thanks to that little stinky! I told him! I told him not to take the goose, but all he wanted was his revenge!
"Don't take the goose." Why?! [Andy is fallen asleep again and he slaps him to wake him up]
Andy Beanstalk
[screams]
The Great Terror! That's the Golden Goose's mama.
Oh, no.
Andy Beanstalk
And she will be out for blood when she comes back for her baby.
[gasps and rushes to the guard in the door's cell]
GUARD! SAN RICARDO'S IN TERRIBLE DANGER! YOU MUST LISTEN TO ME!
Guard
Quiet, you! [slams the door]
Guard
[Cut to the Great Terror searches for the baby duckling's whereabouts, at the prison, Puss starts to meow to distract the guard]
Shut up...
[The guard cannot hold on Puss' puppy eyes and opens the door]
Drop the weapon. [the guard drops his weapon] Very good. Step Aside. [the guard cannot hold his eyes to Puss]
Guard
NO! [grabs the spray and sprays on Puss] Diablo Gato! [snickers] Nice try.
[Kitty snatches the guard and drags the guard, until Puss and Andy look outside and Kitty returns the hat, boots and sword] [to Puss]
I hope you can forgive me.
Andy Beanstalk
Apology accepted! [he runs off]
Jill
[holding Puss upside down by his foot over a cliff]
Is it true a cat always lands on its feet?
No, that is just a rumor spread by dogs!
Jill
Well, let's find out.
I'll steal you blind, and you won't even know I was there!
Give me the goose, Humpty.
No can do, I'm afraid. See, the mama's on her way, and when she gets here, it's absolutely not bye-bye, San Ricardo and everything you ever cared about.
Revenge on me is one thing, but why, Imelda? Why the orphanage? This is our home.
You mean your home. [sighs] I never belonged here. We had a plan to get out of here, but then you became a hero, and you picked this place over me. You left me with nothing.
Humpty, I'm sorry I hurt you. But do not take it out on these people. You are better than this.
No, I'm not.
Oh, come on! I know the real Humpty. The way you saw the world, the inventor, the dreamer! What happened to that guy? [They both hear the sound of the mama goose as she gets nearer]
I think it's too late.
It is never too late to do the right thing. Together, we can save San Ricardo! I can forgive you, Humpty, if you help me now.
Really? After everything I put you through?
Prove to me there is still a good egg in you.
I'll try.
No, they are the same boots I wore when you betrayed me!
Betrayed you? You left me cracked in pieces on a bridge… surrounded by soldiers! They wrote a song about it!
Then how did we get to the bridge in the first place?
Because we were brothers, and brothers were supposed to look out for each other, not--!
One milk, please.
Man
What are you doing here, senior? Did you lose the ball of wool? (laughing)
Man
one milk coming.
Tavern patron #1
Show him the golden eggs. [Tavern patron #2 begins to try unzipping his pants; cut to Puss]
No! You have shown enough.
Young Humpty
Well, we got red beans, we got green beans, coffee beans, lima beans… but no magic beans.
Would you care for a jelly bean?
Young Humpty
Oh, thank you.
Señor Puss, he's a hero!
[first lines of the film; voice over]
Through the years, I have been known by many names. Diablo Gato, The Furry Lover, Chupa Cabra, Frisky Two Times, and then The Gingerhead Man. But to most, I am Puss in Boots! Outlaw.
[last lines; voice over]
This is the story of a cat who became a hero. An outlaw dedicated to justice and a lover of beautiful women. A great, great lover. Really, it is crazy. I am Puss in Boots! And my name would become legend.
[Last words before his death]
Puss, you have to save the baby or the mama will destroy San Ricardo. It’s the right thing to do. [Puss: I will not let you go, Humpty.] I know you won’t. So I won’t make you choose.