Vincent Vega You don't **** with another man's vehicle. It's just against the rules.
2nd most-quoted character in Pulp Fiction (1994): in 25 of its 110 quotes
Most scenes with: Jules Winnfield (8)
So you're gonna go out there, drink your drink, say "Goodnight, I've had a very lovely evening", go home, jerk off. And that's all you're gonna do.
More lines from Vincent Vega
13 quotes Vincent Vega Vincent Vega Well, you gotta have an opinion! I mean, do you think that God came down from heaven and stopped the – [he accidentally shoots Marvin]
Vincent Vega Oh man, I just shot Marvin in the face.
Vincent Vega Chill out, man, I told you it was an accident. We probably went over a bump or something.
Vincent Vega Why the **** didn't you tell us there was someone in the bathroom? Slipped your mind? You forgot to mention someone's in the bathroom with a goddamn handcannon?!
Vincent Vega [When asked what divine intervention is]
I think so ... it means God came down from heaven and stopped the bullets.
Vincent Vega Chill, Jules, this shit happens.
Vincent Vega Don't ****in' die on me, Mia!
Vincent Vega **** you, Lance, answer!
Vincent Vega Would you like to continue this theological discussion in the car, or in the jailhouse with the cops?
Vincent Vega A "please" would be nice.
Vincent Vega Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go home and have a heart attack.
Vincent Vega Jules, you give that **** nimrod $1,500, I'll shoot him on general principle.
Scenes with Vincent Vega
11 scenes
So, tell me again about the hash bars.
Vincent Okay, what you wanna know?
Hash is legal there, right?
Vincent Yeah, it's legal, but it ain't a hundred percent legal. I mean, you can't walk into a restaurant, roll a joint and start puffing away. You're only supposed to smoke in your home or certain designated places.
And those are hash bars?
Vincent It breaks down like this: it's legal to buy it, it's legal to own it, and if you're the proprietor of a hash bar, it's legal to sell it. It's legal to carry it, but that doesn't really matter 'cause get a load of this, all right? If you get stopped by the cops in Amsterdam, it's illegal for them to search you. I mean, that's a right the cops in Amsterdam don't have.
Vincent Yeah baby, you'd dig it the most. But you know what the funniest thing about Europe is?
What?
Vincent It's the little differences. I mean, they got the same shit over there that they got here, but it's just – it's just there it's a little different.
Example?
Vincent All right. Well, you can walk into a movie theater in Amsterdam and buy a beer. And I don't mean just like in no paper cup, I'm talking about a glass of beer. And in Paris, you can buy a beer at McDonald's. And you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?
They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese?
Vincent Nah, man, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what the **** a Quarter Pounder is.
What do they call it?
Vincent They call it a "Royale with Cheese."[2]
"Royale with Cheese."
Vincent That's right.
What do they call a Big Mac?
Vincent A Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it "Le Big Mac".
"Le Big Mac." [laughs] What do they call a Whopper?
Vincent I dunno, I didn't go into Burger King. But, you know what they put on French fries in Holland instead of ketchup?
What?
Vincent Mayonnaise.
God damn!
Vincent I seen them do it, man, they **** drown them in that shit.
That's some **** up shit.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop right there. Eating a bitch out and giving a bitch a foot massage ain't even the same **** thing.
Vincent It's not, it's the same ballpark.
It ain't no **** ball park neither! Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but you know touching his wife's feet and sticking your tongue in the holiest of holies ain't the same **** ball park. It ain't the same league. It ain't even the same **** sport! Look, foot massages don't mean shit!
Vincent Have you ever given a foot massage?
Don't be telling me about foot massages, I'm the foot ****in' master.
Vincent Given a lot of them?
Shit, yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I don't be tickling or nothing.
Vincent Would you give a guy a foot massage?
**** you.
Vincent You give them a lot?
**** you.
Vincent You know, I'm getting kinda tired, I could use a foot massage myself.
Yo-yo-yo, man, you best back off, I'm getting pissed here. Look, just 'cause I wouldn't give no man a foot massage don't make it right for Marsellus to throw Antoine into a glass mother**** house **** up the way the **** talks. That shit ain't right. Mother****er do that shit to me, he better paralyze my ass because I'd kill the mother****er, know what I'm saying?
Vincent I ain't saying it's right. But you're saying a foot massage don't mean nothing, and I'm saying it does. Now look, I've given a million ladies a million foot massages, and they all meant something. We act like they don't, but they do, and that's what's so **** cool about them. There's a sensuous thing going on where you don't talk about it, but you know it, she knows it, **** Marsellus knew it, and Antoine should have **** better known better. I mean, that's his **** wife, man, he can't be expected to have a sense of humor about that shit. You know what I'm saying?
That's an interesting point.
[Vincent and Jules walk into the apartment. They don't look happy]
Hey kids, how you boys doing?
[One starts to get up]
Keep chilling. You know who we are? We are associates of your business partner Marsellus Wallace. You do remember your business partner, don't 'cha?
[Nervous silence]
Now let me take a wild guess here. [Points at a young man sitting at a table eating breakfast] You're Brett, right?
Brett Yeah.
I thought so. You remember your business partner Marsellus Wallace, don't 'cha, Brett?
Brett [Vincent walks behind Brett into the kitchen]
Yeah, I-I remember.
Good. It looks like me and Vincent caught you boys at breakfast. Sorry about that. What 'cha having?
Brett Hamburgers.
Hamburgers! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast. What kinda hamburgers?
Brett Uh, ch-cheeseburgers.
No, no-no-no-no, where'd you get them? McDonald's, Wendy's, Jack-in-the-Box, where?
Brett Um, Big Kahuna Burger.
Big Kahuna Burger! That's that Hawaiian burger joint. I hear they got some tasty burgers. Ain't never had one myself. How are they?
Brett Th-they're good.
You mind if I try one of yours?
[Jules picks up a cheeseburger and takes a bite]
Mm-hmm! This is a tasty burger! Vincent! You ever had a Big Kahuna burger?
Vincent Ain't hungry.
Well, if you like burgers, give them a try sometime. Me, I can't usually get them 'cause my girlfriend's a vegetarian, which pretty much makes me a vegetarian. I do love the taste of a good burger. Mmm. [To Brett] You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France?
Brett No.
Tell them, Vincent
Vincent Royale with Cheese.
Royale with Cheese. Know why they call it that?
Brett [Brett shrugs]
Uh, because of the metric system?
Check out the big brain on Brett! You're a smart mother****er. That's right. The metric system.
Brett Sprite.
Sprite, good. Do you mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down?
Brett Go right ahead.
[Jules points at the other guy on the couch]
You, Flock-of-Seagulls, know why we're here? Why don't you tell my man Vince were you got the shit hid at?
Marvin
[The third man, Marvin, behind Jules, in a corner, speaks]
It's over there--
[shouting]
: I don't remember asking you a god damn thing! [to Flock-of-Seagulls] You were saying?
Flock-of-Seagulls
In the cupboard. [Vincent looks in an overhead cupboard] N-no, the one by your knees.
[Vincent pulls out a black briefcase, unlocks it, and looks at the glowing light inside]
We happy? [no answer] Vincent? Are we happy?
Vincent Yeah, we happy. Fff.
Brett [to Jules]
Look, I'm sorry, I didn't get your name. I got yours, uh, Vincent, right? But I--I didn't get yours.
My name is Pitt, and your ass ain't talking your way outta this shit.
Brett [rising]
: No, no, no. I just want you to know how-- [Jules motions him to sit down] I just want you to know how sorry we are that that things got so **** up with us and Mr. Wallace. It, we-we got into this thing with the best intentions. I never inte--
[Jules shoots Flock-of-Seagulls, Brett recoils in horror]
Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue. You were sayin' something about "best intentions"? What's the matter? Oh, y-you were finished? Oh, well allow me to retort!
Brett What?
What country are you from?
Brett What?
"What" ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in "What"?!
Brett What?
English, mother****er! Do you speak it?!
Brett Yes!
Then you know what I'm saying. Describe, what Marsellus Wallace, looks like!
Brett What?
[points gun at Brett]
Say "what" again! Say "what" again. I dare you! I double-dare you, mother****er! Say "what" one more god damn time!
Brett He-he's black.
Go on!
Brett He's bald.
Does he look like a bitch?
Brett What?!
Brett [in pain]
No-o!!
Then why'd you try to **** him like a bitch, Brett?
Brett I didn't!
Yes, you did! Yes, you did, Brett! You tried to **** him, and Marsellus Wallace don't like to be **** by anybody, except Mrs. Wallace. You read the Bible, Brett?
Brett Yes!
Well, there's this passage I've got memorized that sort of fits this occasion. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of the evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. [Says it louder] And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. [Says it even louder] And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!"[1]
[Shoots Brett repeatedly, emptying his handgun into him as Vincent fires along with his handgun]
Vincent Remember, I just got back from Amsterdam.
Am I a ****? Are we in Inglewood? No. You're in my home. White people who know the difference between good shit and bad shit, this is the house they come to. Now, my shit, I'll take the Pepsi challenge with that Amsterdam shit, any day of the **** week.
Vincent That's a bold statement.
This ain't Amsterdam, Vince. This is a sellers market. Coke is **** dead as ... dead. Heroin, it's coming back in a big **** way.
****, ****, what the **** did you just do to his towel, man?!
Vincent I was drying my hands.
You're supposed to wash them first!
Vincent Well, you watched me wash them!
I watched you get them wet!
Vincent I was washing them. This shit's hard to get off. Maybe if I had Lava, I could have done a better job.
I used the same **** soap you did, and when I finished, the towel didn't look like no God damn maxi-pad. What if Jimmie was to come in here and see his towel like this, Vincent? It's shit like this that's gonna bring this situation to a head, man!
Vincent A "please" would be nice.
Come again?
Vincent I said a "please" would be nice.
Get it straight, Buster. I'm not here to say "please". I'm here to tell you what to do. And if self-preservation is an instinct you possess, you better **** do it and do it quick. I'm here to help. If my help's not appreciated, lots of luck, gentlemen.
No no, Mr. Wolfe, it's not like that. Your help is definitely appreciated.
Vincent Look, Mr. Wolfe, I respect you. I just don't like people barking orders at me, that's all.
If I'm curt with you, it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast, and I need you two guys to act fast if you want to get out of this. So pretty please, with sugar on top, clean the **** car.
Oh, man. I will never forgive your ass for this shit. This is some ****-up repugnant shit.
Vincent Jules, did you ever hear the philosophy that once a man admits that he is wrong, he is immediately forgiven for all wrong-doings? Have you ever heard that?
Get the **** out my face with that shit. The mother****er said that shit never had to pick up itty-bitty pieces of skull on account of your dumb ass.
Vincent I've got a threshold, Jules. I've got a threshold for the abuse that I will take. Now, right now, I'm a **** race car, all right? And you got me in the red. And I'm just saying, I'm just saying that it's **** dangerous to have a race car in the **** red, that's all. I could blow.
Oh, oh, you ready to blow?
Vincent Yeah, I'm ready to blow.
Well, I'm a mushroom cloud-laying mother****er, mother****er! Every time my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly T.N.T.! I'm the The Guns of the Navarone! In fact, what the **** am I doing in the back?! You're the mother****er who should be on brain detail! We're **** switching! I'm washing the windows and you're picking up this ****'s skull!
Don't you hate that?
Vincent What?
Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?
Vincent I don't know. That's a good question.
That's when you know you've found somebody special, when you can just shut the **** up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.
Vincent Want some bacon?
Jules No man, I don't eat pork.
Vincent Are you Jewish?
Jules Nah, I ain't Jewish, I just don't dig on swine, that's all.
Vincent Why not?
Jules Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals.
Vincent Yeah, but bacon tastes good. Pork chops taste good.
Jules Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy mother****er. Pigs sleep and root in shit. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eatin' nothing that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces.
Vincent How about a dog? Dog eats its own feces.
Jules I don't eat dog either.
Vincent Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?
Jules I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy, but they're definitely dirty. A dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.
Vincent Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?
Jules Well, we'd have to be talkin' about one charming mother**** pig. I mean, he'd have to be ten times more charming than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm saying?
Vincent [laughing]
That's good.
Man, I just been sitting here thinking.
Vincent About what?
About the miracle we just witnessed.
Vincent The miracle you witnessed. I witnessed a freak occurrence.
What is a miracle, Vincent?
Vincent An act of God.
And what's an act of God?
Vincent When, um ... God makes the impossible possible ... but this morning I don't think qualifies.
Hey, Vincent, don't you see? That shit don't matter. You're judging this shit the wrong way. I mean, it could be that God stopped the bullets, or He changed Coke to Pepsi, He found my **** car keys. You don't judge shit like this based on merit. Now, whether or not what we experienced was an "according to Hoyle" miracle is insignificant. What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved.
Vincent But why?
Well, that's what's **** with me. I don't know why, but I can't go back to sleep.
We should have shotguns for this kind of deal.
Vincent How many of them are there?
Three or four.
Vincent Is that counting our guy?
Not sure.
Vincent So, it could be as many as five guys in there?
It's possible.
Vincent We should have **** shotguns.
