[looks at his reflection in a paintpot and turns to Pinocchio]
Oh! I almost forgot about you. Well, Pinoke. You and I will need to have a little heart-to-heart talk.
J Jiminy
Well, you want to be a real boy, don't you?
J Jiminy
All right. Sit down, son. [Pinocchio drops down on the bench] Now, you see, the world is full of temptations.
J Jiminy
Yep, temptations. They're the wrong things that seem right at the time, but, uh.... even though the right things may seem wrong, sometimes, or sometimes, the wrong things [chuckles] may be right at the wrong time, or vice-versa. [clears throat] Understand?
[starts to nod, then shakes his head]
Uh-uh. [Jiminy handpalms] But I'm gonna do right.
J Jiminy
Attaboy, Pinoke! And I'm gonna help ya. Now if you need me at anytime, just whistle. Like this. [whistles]
Like this? [Blows, but no sound comes out]
J Jiminy
No, no, try it again, Pinoke.
Like this? [Blows again, but no sound comes out]
J Jiminy
No, son. Now listen. [whistles three times]
[blows air three more times and whistles on the third attempt]
J Jiminy
That's it! Come on now, let's sing it!
J Jiminy
[about Pinocchio]
Well, there he goes. Sitting in the lap of luxury with the world at his feet. Oh, well. I can always say that I knew him when I met him. I'll just get out of his life quietly. But I would like to wish him luck, though. Sure. Why not? [enters Stromboli's wagon, and then looks for Pinocchio] Pinocchio? Pinocchio? It's me. Your old friend, Jiminy. Remember?
Jiminy! Gee, I'm glad to see you! [sheds a tear]
J Jiminy
Pinocchio! [runs to the birdcage] What's happened? [hops up onto the birdcage] What did he do to you?
[explains to Jiminy about Stromboli]
Oh, he was mad! He said that he's gonna push my face into everybody's eyes!
And.... And just because I'm a gold brick, he.... he's gonna chop me into firewood!
J Jiminy
Oh, is that so? [Pinocchio nods] Now, don't you worry, son. I'll have you out of here in no time at all. [climbs into the padlock through the keyhole] Why, this is...this is just as easy as rolling off a.... Whoa! [falls into the padlock] [Pinocchio listens, as Jiminy tries to open the padlock up] [comes out of the padlock, takes his coat and hat off, hangs them both on a screw of the padlock, and then to Pinocchio] Kinda rusty. [Pinocchio watches, as Jiminy continues trying to open the padlock up] Needs a little oil! [Jiminy's shouting echoes throughout the insides of the padlock] [to the audience] That's what I said. [continues trying to open the padlock up with his umbrella]
[Pinocchio takes a closer look, as Jiminy pries at the padlock up with his umbrella, loosening the spring in the process; suddenly, the spring breaks off of the padlock, sending Jiminy flying out of the padlock] WHOOOAA!! [Pinocchio watches, as the spring continues flying from the padlock, and then lands straight right into one side of the birdcage]
J Jiminy
[as he hangs onto one side of the birdcage via the broken spring] [chuckles nervously]
Must be one of the old models.
You mean that you can't open it?
J Jiminy
Yeah. Looks pretty hopeless. [Pinocchio gives him his coat and hat, and then watches him put his coat and hat back on him] It'll take a miracle to get us out of here.
[Meanwhile, Geppetto searches for Pinocchio out in the streets of the village]
Pinocchio! Pinocchio!
[Geppetto gets interrupted by Stromboli's wagon approaching] [to his horse]
Giddyap! [speaks in Italian giberish]
[Geppetto continues searching for Pinocchio through the streets of the village]
Pinocch--
J Jiminy
[thunderclap] [Geppetto gets interrupted again, this time by a loud thunderclap; he doesn't realize that Pinocchio is inside Stromboli's wagon, and then continues searching for Pinocchio out in the streets of the village, as he goes the opposite direction of Stromboli's wagon]
A fine conscience I turned out to be.
[tearfully]
I should've listened to you, Jiminy.
J Jiminy
No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have walked out on you.
Guess I'll never see my father again.
J Jiminy
Oh, buck up, son. It couldn't be worse. [starts crying] Be cheerful....LIKE ME!!
[sobs as one of his tears lands onto Jiminy's hat until it splashes]
J Jiminy
Oh. Take it easy, son. [gets out a tissue from his shirt, and holds it onto Pinocchio's nose] Come on. Blow.
[blows his nose into the tissue]
J Jiminy
Attaboy. [blows his nose into the same tissue] Oh, well. [Jiminy looks at the sky while a tear drop down on his cheek] It stopped raining, anyway. [outside Stromboli's wagon window, the clouds cleared up, and revealed the starry night sky, as the wishing star approaches Stromboli's wagon, and then enters Stromboli's wagon] Hey. It's that star again. The lady, the.... the.... Whoa! The fairy! [Pinocchio falls off of the birdcage's perch, as he hops onto another side of the birdcage]
[gets up]
What'll she say?! What'll I tell her?!
J Jiminy
Um.... Uh.... You might tell her the truth! [hides inside the birdcage's birdfeeder, as Pinocchio hides his head right between his legs like an ostrich]
Blue Fairy [the Blue Fairy appears, and then looks around Stromboli's wagon, as Pinocchio watches in amazement]
Why, Pinocchio.
Blue Fairy And Sir Jiminy.
J Jiminy
Well, uh, this is a pleasant surprise. Ha ha!
Blue Fairy Pinocchio, why didn't you go to school?
School? Well, I.... [looks up at Jiminy]
J Jiminy
Go ahead. Tell her.
I was going to school till I met somebody.
Blue Fairy Met somebody?
Yeah, uh.... two big monsters with big, green eyes! [his nose grows a little] Why, I.... I....
Blue Fairy Monsters? Weren't you afraid?
No, ma'am, but they tied me in a big sack.
Blue Fairy [his nose grows a little more and sprouts leaves]
You don't say. [Pinocchio nods] And where was Sir Jiminy?
Huh? Oh, Jiminy. Um.... Uh....
J Jiminy
[jumps in front of Pinocchio]
Psst! Leave me out of this.
They put him in a little sack.
J Jiminy
[his nose grows even more, taking Jiminy along with it]
No!
Blue Fairy [his nose sprouts flowers]
How did you escape?
I didn't. They chopped me into firewood! [his nose grows again, and a nest with baby birds sprouts at the end of it] Oh, look! My nose! What's happened?
Blue Fairy Perhaps you haven't been telling the truth, Pinocchio.
Oh, but I have. Every single word! [the branch with the nest on his nose withers, and the birds fly away, whistling] Oh, please help me! I'm awful sorry!
Blue Fairy You see, Pinocchio, a lie keeps growing and growing until it's as plain as a nose on your face.
J Jiminy
She's right, Pinoke. You better come clean.
I'll never lie again! Honest, I won't!
J Jiminy
[to the Blue Fairy]
Please, your honor.... uh.... I mean, Miss Fairy, give him another chance, for mother's sake. Will you? Huh?
Blue Fairy I'll forgive you this once. But remember that a boy, who won't be good, might just as well be made of wood.
PA Pinocchio and Jiminy
[in unison]
We'll be good, won't we?
Blue Fairy Very well. But this is the last time that I can help you.
[She touches the birdcage with her magic wand, and then disappears; Pinocchio's nose turns back to normal, and the birdcage door opens, as the padlock magically unlocks while on the birdcage door]
Gee, look, Jiminy! My nose!
J Jiminy
Hey! We're free! Come on, Pinoke!
[They sneak out from the back of the wagon while Stromboli is singing] [singing]
I buy a new suit and I swing-a that cane, I eat-a the bread and I drink-a champagne! I got-a no strings on-a me!
J Jiminy
Toodle-oo, Stromboli!
[yelling]
Goodbye, Mr. Strombo...
J Jiminy
Shhhh!!!! [whispering] Quiet! Let's get out of here before something else happens. [They rush home to the village]
[Pinocchio and Jiminy are walking home after escaping from Stromboli]
No, sir. Nothing can stop me now! I'll make good this time!
I will. I'm going to school!
J Jiminy
That's the stuff, Pinoke!
I'd rather be smart than be an actor!
J Jiminy
Now, you're talkin'! C'mon, slowpoke! I'll race you home!
Honest John [they race back to Geppetto's workshop until Honest John grabs Pinocchio by the back of his red loincloth from behind his butt with his cane just like a wedgie. Gideon still holds the back of Pinocchio's red loincloth from his butt behind with the cane as the fox runs in place alongside Pinocchio]
Well, well, Pinocchio! What's your rush?
I gotta beat Jiminy home. [tips his hat] Oh, hello.
Honest John Well, how was the great actor?
I don't want to be an actor. Stromboli was terrible!
Honest John He was?!
Yeah! He locked me in a birdcage!
Honest John He did?!
Uh-huh, and I learned my lesson. I'm goin' ho--
Honest John Oh, you poor, poor boy! You must be a nervous wreck. That's it! You are a nervous wreck! We must diagnose this case at once! Quick, doctor! Your notebook! [Gideon pulls out a notepad and a pencil] Bless my soul. [looks at Pinocchio's arm to check his pulse] Mmm.... mm-hmm! [measures Pinocchio's pulse with a ruler] My, my.... Just as I thought. A slight touch of nolitary complications with bucolic semi-lunar contraptions of the flying trapezes. [Gideon writes down what he thinks he said; Honest John uses his glasses as a tongue depressor while he looks into Pinocchio's mouth] Mm-hmm.... say "hippopotamus".
Honest John I knew it! Compound transmission in the pandemonium custom in the span frantic disintegration. [Gideon writes in the middle of the air] Close your eyes. [Pinocchio closes his eyes hard] What do you see?
Honest John [holds a spotted handkerchief in front of Pinocchio]
Open them up. [Pinocchio does so] Now, what do you see?
Honest John Aha! Now, that heart! [Peels up Pinocchio's shirt untucked from inside his red loincloth, puts his ear to his belly and listens for his heartbeat, and makes a jazzy drumming solo on some bottles with his cane. Gideon dances while writing down the information] Ooh, my goodness! A palpitating syncopation of the killer-diller with a wicky-wacky stabbing of the floy joy! [bonks Gideon's head with his cane] Quick, doctor! That report! [Takes the notepad from a dizzy Gideon and looks at what he wrote, which was nothing but scribbles] Oh! This makes it perfectly clear! My boy, you are allergic!
Honest John Yes, and there is only one cure! A vacation! On Pleasure Island! [winks at Gideon]
Honest John Yes! That happy land of carefree boys where every day's a holiday!
Honest John Why, of course you can go! I'm giving you my ticket! [produces a playing card as a "ticket" in his hand and gives it to Pinocchio] Here.
[takes the "ticket"]
Thanks, but I'm goin'...
Honest John Oh, tut, tut, tut! I insist! Your health comes first! Come! The coach departs at midnight! [He and Gideon take Pinocchio to the coach to Pleasure Island, singing] Hi diddle dee-dee! It's Pleasure Isle for me! Where every day is a holiday and kids have nothing to do but play. Hi diddly doo! If what I hear is true. A land of pudding and marmalade. It's Pleasure Isle for me!
J Jiminy
Pinoke! Oh, Pinoke! Now where do you suppose that he-- [Turns around to see Pinocchio, Honest John, and Gideon disappear around the corner, and runs after them] Huh? Pinocchio! Hey! Come back here!
[On the coach to Pleasure Island, the boys are chatting and laughing. Pinocchio and Lampwick are riding up front with the Coachman] [cracks his whip]
Giddyap!
J Jiminy
[Meanwhile, Jiminy hides under the coach, getting sick and coughing from the dust the donkeys pulling the coach are kicking up]
Well... [coughs] Here we go again.
Lampwick Me name's Lampwick. What's yours?
[tips his hat]
Pinocchio!
Lampwick Ever been to Pleasure Island?
Uh-uh. [shows Lampwick his "ticket" from Honest John] But Mr. Honest John gave me...
Lampwick Me, neither, but they say that it's a swell joint! No school, no cops. You can tear the joint apart, and nobody says a word! [the Coachman smiles evilly and cracks his whip again]
Lampwick Loaf around, plenty to eat, plenty to drink. And it's all free!
Lampwick Boy, that's the place. I can hardly wait! [shoots his slingshot at the donkeys]
B Barker
[They arrive at the docks and board a showboat. They arrive at Pleasure Island, which has various elements any amusement park has, including carnival rides. Balloons of clowns and policemen float above. The Coachman gestures the boys in]
Right here, boys! Right here! Get your cakes, pies, dill pickles, and ice cream! Eat all you can! Be a glutton! Stuff yourselves! It's all free, boys! It's all free! Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry!
RA Roughhouse Animatronic
[inside a tent, the boys are pouncing on each other and punching each other]
The Roughhouse! The Roughhouse! It's the roughest, toughest joint you've ever seen! Come in and pick a fight, boys!
Lampwick [eats his roast chicken while Pinocchio takes a lick of his ice cream cone]
Oh, boy! A scrap! [tosses away his chicken] C'mon! Let's go in and poke somebody in the nose!
Lampwick Ah, just for the fun of it.
OK, Lampy! [tosses away his ice cream cone and pie and strolls into the Roughhouse with Lampwick. In another part of the park, animatronic Indians are throwing handfuls of cigars to the boys]
B Barker
Tobacco Row! Tobacco Row! Get your cigars, cigarettes, and chewing tobacco! Come in and smoke your heads off! There’s nobody here to stop you!
J Jiminy
[Meanwhile, Jiminy is trying to avoid the boys running around, trying to step on him]
Pinocchio! [coughs] Pinocchio! There's something phony about all of this. I gotta get him outta here.
B Barker
[In a large luxurious house, the boys are knocking houseplants and statues over, breaking windows and furniture, and setting the entire house on fire]
Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry! See the Model Home! It's open for destruction! And it's all yours, boys! She's all yours!
Lampwick [he strikes a match on the Mona Lisa painting to light his cigar]
What'd I tell ya? Ain't this a swell joint?
Yeah! [holds an axe] Bein' bad's a lot of fun, ain't it?
Lampwick Yeah, uh-huh. Get a load of that stained-glass window. [Picks up a brick and throws it at the stained glass window, shattering it. Meanwhile, back at the entrance, the Coachman turns to his henchmen]
Alright now! [cracks his whip] Hop to it, you blokes! Come on! Come on! Shut the doors and lock 'em tight! [The guards close the wooden doors] Now, get below and get them crates ready! [chuckles] Give a bad boy enough rope and he'll soon make a jackass of himself. [cackles evilly]
J Jiminy
[Jiminy is walking around the empty park, littered with half-smoked cigars, shut-down carnival rides, and food wrappers]
Pinocchio! Pinocchio! [whistles] Where is everybody? Look at this. This place is like a graveyard. I don't like the looks of this. Pinocchio! Hey! Where are you?
[meanwhile, in the pool hall, Lampwick is whistling "Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee" and playing pool while Pinocchio sits at a table, smoking his cigar]
Where do you suppose all the kids went to, Lampwick?
Lampwick Oh, they're around here somewheres. Why do you care? You're havin' a good time, ain't ya? [hits a #3 ball into a hole]
Lampwick Oh, boy! This is the life, huh, Pinokey?
Yeah! [smokes lightly] It sure is! [smokes lightly again]
Lampwick Ah, you smoke like me grandmother! [picks up his cigar] Come on. Take a big drag! Like this! [inhales his cigar deeply]
OK, Lampy! [inhales his cigar deeply and his face turns red, then pink, and his eyes tear up, and then turns green in the face and blows a smoke ring, which comes out of his mouth]
Lampwick Heh, some fun, huh, kid? [Pinocchio nods drowsily] OK, slats. [adds a point in the score chart] Your shot.
[Pinocchio, dazed and disoriented, can barely focus on striking the #8 ball, which appears to wink its eye at Pinocchio; Pinocchio shakes his head, causing his eyes to shake as well] What's the matter, slats? Losin' your grip?
J Jiminy
[Pinocchio is about to strike the ball at first, but is then startled by Jiminy and falls flat on his face]
PINOCCHIO! So, this is where I find you! How do you ever expect to be a real boy?! Look at yourself! Smokin'?! [pulls the flattened cigar out of Pinocchio's mouth with his umbrella] Playin' pool?! [angrily kicks the #8 ball and painfully stubs his toe] OW! You're comin' right home with me this minute!
Lampwick Hey, who's the beetle? [picks up Jiminy by his coat]
J Jiminy
Let go! Put me down! [voice becomes muffled as he gets wrapped around in his coat] Let me outta here! Put me down!
He's my conscience. He tells me what's right from wrong.
Lampwick [drops Jiminy]
What?!? You mean to tell me you take orders from a grasshopper?!?
J Jiminy
Grasshopper?!? Look here, you.... you impudent young pup! It wouldn't hurt you to take orders from your grasshopper! I mean, your conscience! If you have one!
Lampwick Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. [strikes the #9 ball into the ball Jiminy is standing on] Screwball in the corner pocket.
J Jiminy
[Jiminy is knocked into a hole by the #1 ball, the other ball goes in, too; when Jiminy lands in the ball pit, he runs out of the way of the #8 ball; Lampwick cracks up laughing] [angrily climbs out of hole]
Why, you.... you young hoodlum! [furiously takes off his coat] I'll.... I'll knock your block off! [punches the air; Lampwick laughs harder] I'll take you apart and put you back together!
[holds Jiminy back by his vest]
Oh, don't hurt him, Jiminy. He's my best friend.
J Jiminy
Why, I oughtta... Your best friend?! And what am I?! Just your conscience! [angrily storms away] OK! That settles it! [furiously picks up his suit and angrily squashes his top hat real flat]
J Jiminy
You buttered your bread! Now, sleep in it! [angrily puts his suit coat on backwards and accidentally falls down a pool hole again; Lampwick laughs even harder] Ha, ha, ha! Go on! Laugh! Make a jackass out of yourself! I'm through! This is the end! [furiously storms out the bar]
But, Jiminy, Lampwick says a guy only lives once.
J Jiminy
Lampwick! (scoffs)
Lampwick Come on, come on! Let him go! [pours some beer into a couple steins]
J Jiminy
[Meanwhile, Jiminy is storming out of Pleasure Island]
Lampwick! Huh! LAMPWICK! [kicks a smoked cigar, making the ashes fly everywhere] Burns me up. After all I tried to do for him! [goes through the inside of an open book, and comes out by ripping and tearing some pages] Who's his conscience anyway? [gets tangled in the leg by a ribbon and shakes it off] Me or that... that hoodlum Lampwick? I've had enough of this! I'm takin' the next boat outta here! [raps on the door with his umbrella handle] Open up that door! Open up! I wanna go home!
[Jiminy hears donkeys braying on the other side of the door and slips under the door. There, he finds the Coachman and his henchman loading donkeys into crates and onto the boat]
C'mon, you blokes! Keep it moving. Lively there, now! We haven't got all night!
J Jiminy
[scratches his head]
Where'd all the donkeys come from?
Come on, come on! Let's have another! [one of his henchmen pulls a donkey dressed in a police uniform toward him] And what's your name? ‘’[The donkey only brays]] Okay, you'll do! [he tears the police uniform off the donkey and kicks him in the rear end, throwing him into a crate with five others] In you go! You boys will bring a nice price. [chuckles evilly] Alright! Next! [another donkey, who is dressed in a sailor suit is thrown toward him] And what might your name be?
A Alexander
Y-Yes, sir. I want to go home to my mama!
Take him back! He can still talk! [snatches Alexander and throws him into a pen with six other donkeys that can still talk]
A Alexander
Please, please. I don't want to be a donkey. [the others protest, begging and pleading for mercy] Let me out of here!
[cracks his whip]
QUIET!!! You boys have had your fun! Now pay for it!
J Jiminy
Boys? So that's what...! Pinocchio! [he runs back to the pool hall to warn Pinocchio what has happened to the boys]
Lampwick Heh! To hear that beetle talk.... [takes a sip of his beer] .... you'd think that something was gonna happen to us. [Lampwick suddenly sprouts donkey ears. Unaware of this, Pinocchio pushes his beer away] Conscience. Ah, phooey! [strikes a ball and grows a donkey tail as a shocked Pinocchio then throws away his cigar] Where does he get that stuff? [sarcastically] "How do you ever expect to be a real boy?" [leans over the pool table, grabs his cigar, and turns around to show Pinocchio that his face has turned into a donkey’s muzzle, and puts it in his mouth] What's he think I look like? A jackass?
You sure do! [laughs, but he accidentally brays in the middle of his laughter and covers his mouth in shock]
Lampwick Hey, you laugh like a donkey. [laughs, then accidentally brays, and gasps and covers his mouth to stop] Did that come out of me? [Pinocchio nods in a horrified look; Lampwick feels his face, realizing he has a muzzle instead of a nose] Oh! [feels nothing but fur] Huh? [feels his donkey ears from bottom to top, then tugs at them] What the----? What's going on?! [he takes a looks in the mirror, but sees his reflection, then sees that he is only half a human and half a donkey, finally realizes, and screams in terror, just as he runs around in panic for help] I've been double-crossed! Help! Help! Somebody, help! I've been framed! HELP!!!! [begs to Pinocchio for help, while Pinocchio ends up backing into a wall and grabs his overall straps]] Please, you've gotta help me! Oh, be a pal! Call that beetle! Call anybody! [lets go of Pinocchio, as his hands close up, morphing into hooves; Pinocchio gasps in shock and backs away, scared] Mama! MA-AA-A-MA-AA-A-AA-A!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!! [In the shadow, Lampwick is forced down on all fours, and having turned into a donkey completely, begins to run around the room, and starts braying wildly, while Pinocchio runs away and hides behind a chair, but when Lampwick smashes the mirror with his back hooves, knocks tables over, kicks chairs all over the place, and flees, still braying uncontrollably; Pinocchio suddenly sprouts gray donkey ears]
[tugs at his ears]
OOOOH!!!! What's happened?!
J Jiminy
[races towards the pool hall]
Oh, I hope I'm not too late.
What'll....? What'll I do?! [suddenly, he sprouts a gray donkey tail, grabs hold of its end, and gasps]
J Jiminy
[Jiminy finally reaches the pool hall, and goes back in]
Pinocchio!
J Jiminy
Quick, Pinoke! The kids! The boys! They're all donkeys! [gasps] You, too?! [Pinocchio nods] C'mon! Quick! Before you get any worse! [they run out of the pool hall and across the park] This way, Pinoke! It's the only way out! [they climb up the rocks and onto a cliff] Hurry up.... OOF! Before they see us! [they stop at the cliff leading down to the water] You gotta jump. [they dive into the water, and swim far away from Pleasure Island, and get up on the mainland, before heading back to the workshop]
