I understand we understand each other.
Dexter Quite.
3rd most-quoted character in The Philadelphia Story (1940): in 23 of its 82 quotes
Most scenes with: Tracy Samantha Lord (13), Macaulay 'Mike' Connor (9), Liz (4)
Scenes with Dexter
23 scenes Dexter 
I thought you were low, but I never thought you'd sink to...Who the heck do they think they are, barging in on peaceful people?
Dexter Now, shush, shush, they'll think you don't want them.
I want them out and you too.
Dexter Yes, yes your Majesty, but first, could I interest you in some small blackmail?
No!
Dexter [as he removes an article from his coat pocket]
Well, it's an article, complete with snapshots, details, and insinuations. And it's ready for publication in Spy and it's about your father and that dancer in New York.
Dexter Now quiet, Dinah...
But they can't. Well they can't, even if it's true. Where did you get these?
Dexter From Sidney Kidd. The editor and publisher...
He's got to be stopped.
Dexter Well he is, temporarily. That is, if you'll allow those two to turn in a story on your wedding. And when Kidd says a story, he means a story!
I'm gonna be sick.
Dexter Yes, dear. 'An Intimate Day with a Society Bride.'
I am sick.
Dexter Well, it's tough, but that's the way it seems to be.
So I'm to be examined, undressed, and generally humiliated at fifteen cents a copy. And you, you ---. You're loving it.
Dexter Am I, Red?
Dexter To hardly know him is to know him well.
Age 32...General Manager, Quaker State Coal, controlling interest in the company owned by Seth Lord - that's the girl's father, huh?
Dexter Uh, huh.
What a coincidence.
How did he meet her?
Dexter Heaven brought them together, I imagine.
Now about this girl. Tracy Samantha Lord...Oh, what's her leading characteristic.
Dexter [Mike is wearing a hat]
She has a horror of men who wear their hats in the house. [leaves the room]
Leading characteristics to be filled in later.
I can fill them in right now: the young rich, rapacious, American female. There's no other country where she exists.
And would I change places with Tracy Samantha Lord for all her wealth and beauty? Oh boy just ask me.
Dexter You don't look as well as when I last saw you, Kittredge. Oh, you poor fellow. I know just how you feel...Why, you don't look old enough to get married. Not even the first time. And then you never did. She needs trouble to mature her, Kittredge. Give her lots of it.
I'm afraid she can't count on me for that.
Dexter No, that's too bad. Sometimes, for your own sake, Red, I think you should have stuck to me longer.
I thought it was for life, but the nice Judge gave me a full pardon.
Dexter Aw, that's the old redhead, no bitterness, no recrimination, just a good swift left in the jaw.
Dexter Orange juice, certainly.
Don't tell me you've forsaken your beloved whiskey and whiskeys.
Dexter No, no, no, no. I've just changed their color, that's all. I'm going for the pale pastel shades now. They're more becoming to me. How about you, Mr. Connor? You drink, don't you? Alcohol, I mean.
Oh, a little.
Dexter A little, 'little.' And you a writer? I thought all writers drank to excess and beat their wives. You know one time, I think I secretly wanted to be a writer.
Dexter, would you mind doing something for me?...Get the heck out of here.
Dexter Oh my dear, Red. I couldn't do that. It wouldn't be fair to you. You need me too much.
Would you mind telling me just what it is you're hanging around for? [Mike begins to walk away] Oh no, no, no. Please don't go, Mr. Connor.
Dexter 'Oh no, no, no. Please don't go Mr. Connor.' As a writer, this ought to be right up your street.
Don't miss a word.
Dexter I never saw you looking better, Red. You're getting that fine, tawny look.
Oh, we're going to talk about me, are we? Goodie.
Dexter It's astonishing what money can do for people, don't you agree, Mr. Connor? Not too much, you know - just more than enough. Now take Tracy for example. (There's) never a blow that hasn't been softened for her. Never a blow that won't be softened. As a matter of fact, she's even changed her shape - she was a dumpy little thing at one time.
Only as it happens, I'm not interested in myself, for the moment.
Dexter Not interested in yourself! You're fascinated, Red. You're far and away your favorite person in the world.
Dexter, in case you don't know it -
Dexter Of course, Mr. Connor, she's a girl who's generous to a fault.
To a fault, Mr. Connor.
Dexter Except to other people's faults. For instance, she never had any understanding of my deep and gorgeous thirst.
That was your problem.
Dexter Granted. But you took on that problem with me when you took me, Red. You were no help-mate there. You were a scold.
It was disgusting. It made you so unattractive.
Dexter A weakness, sure, and strength is her religion, Mr. Connor. She finds human imperfection unforgiveable. And when I gradually discovered that my relationship to her was supposed to be not that of a loving husband and a good companion, but - [He turns away from her] Oh, never mind.
Say it.
Dexter But that of a kind of high priest to a virgin goddess, then my drinks grew deeper and more frequent, that's all. [Mike slides off his chair and leaves them.]
I never considered you as that, nor myself.
Dexter You did without knowing it. Oh, and the night that you got drunk on champagne and climbed out on the roof and stood there, NAKED, with your arms out to the moon, wailing like a banshee - [Dexter laughs at the thought.]
I told you I never had the slightest recollection of doing any such thing.
Dexter I know. You drew a blank. You wanted to. Mr. Connor, what would you... [He turns and notices Mike has gone] Oh.
A nice story for spies, incidentally.
Dexter Too bad we can't supply photographs of you on the roof.
Dexter [about marrying George]
How in the world could you even think of it?
Because he is everything you're not. He's been poor. He's had to work and he's had to fight for everything. And I love him, as I never even began to love you.
Dexter Maybe so, but I doubt it. I think he's just a swing from me. But it's too violent a swing. Kittredge is no great tower of strength, you know, Tracy. He's just a tower.
You hardly know him.
Dexter To hardly know him is to know him well. And perhaps it offends my vanity to have anyone who is even remotely my wife re-marry so obviously beneath her.
How dare you! Any of you in this day and age use such an idiotic...
Dexter I'm talking about the difference in mind and spirit...Kittredge is not for you.
You bet he's for me. He's a great man and a good man. Already, he's of national importance.
Dexter You sound like Spy Magazine talking. But whatever he is, toots, you'll have to stick. He'll give you no out as I did.
I won't require one.
Dexter I suppose you'd still be attractive to any man of spirit, though. There's something engaging about it, this goddess business. There's something more challenging to the male than the, uh, more obvious charms.
Really?
Dexter Really. We're very vain, you know - 'This citadel can and shall be taken, and I'm the boy to do it.'
You seem quite contemptuous of me all of a sudden.
Dexter No, Red, not of you, never of you. Red, you could be the finest woman on this earth. I'm contemptuous of something inside of you you either can't help, or make no attempt to; your so-called 'strength' - your prejudice against weakness - your blank intolerance.
Is that all?
Dexter That's the gist of it; because you'll never be a first-class human being or a first-class woman, until you've learned to have some regard for human frailty. It's a pity your own foot can't slip a little sometime - but your sense of inner divinity wouldn't allow that. This goddess must and shall remain intact. There are more of you than people realize - a special class of the American Female. The Married Maidens.
So help me, Dexter, if you say another word, I'll...
Dexter I'm through, Red. For the moment, I've had my say.
Doggone it, C.K. Dexter Haven. Either I'm gonna sock you or you're gonna sock me.
Dexter Shall we toss a coin?
[drunk]
Are you still in love with her?...Liz thinks you are...But of course, women like to romanticize [hiccup] about things...I don't know, I-I can't understand how you can have been married to her and still know so little about her?...You know, Tracy's no ordinary woman. And you said some things to her this afternoon I resented.
Dexter Well, I apologize Mr. Connor.
That's quite all right. Quite all right. But when a girl is like Tracy, she's one in a million. She's, she's sort of like a, she's sort of like a...
Dexter A goddess?
No, no, no. No, you said that word this afternoon. No. No, she's, she's sort of like a queen. A radiant glorious queen. And you can't treat her like other women.
Dexter No, I suppose not. But then I imagine Kittredge appreciates all that.
Kittredge! Kittredge appreciates Kittredge. Ah, that fake man of the people. He isn't even smart.
Dexter I always thought Kidd himself was the five-cent Kidd.
And what's that make you worth, C. K. Dexter Haven? Bringing us down here.
Dexter But you know why I did that. To get even with my ex-bride. You told me so yourself...
Kidd's just using you like he uses everybody else. You don't know Kidd like I know him. The guy's colossal, he's terrific, he's got everybody fooled.
Dexter No mean Machiavelli is smiling, cynical Sidney Kidd.
Dexter You see, Kidd is holding a dirty piece on Tracy's father. This might stop him.
On Tracy's father?
Dexter That's right.
Oh. Oh, so that's how Kidd got you to...That's how Liz and I were gotten in. Blackmail, huh? We all rode into this thing on a filthy blackmail. Well look. You use it. Use it with my blessings. I'm cooked. I'm through anyway. I'm not gonna hand in a story on this wedding. I'm gonna write one on Kidd.
Dexter No, no. Let me do it. I don't have to tell him where I got my facts, OK?
We've come for the body of Macaulay Connor.
Dexter I'm so glad you came. Can you use a typewriter?
No, thanks, I've got one at home.
Dexter You look beautiful, Red. [She slowly opens her eyes] Come on in.
Dexter No particular reason. A drink, maybe?
I don't drink.
Dexter That's right, I forgot.
I haven't.
Mike's only chance to ever become a really fine writer is to get fired. He's still got a lot to learn. I don't want to get in his way for a while.
Dexter Suppose another girl came along in the meantime?
I'd scratch her eyes out, I guess, that is, unless she was going to marry somebody else the next day.
Dexter [Mike walks in, carrying a drunk Tracy] [To George]
Now easy old man! [To Mike] She's not hurt?
No, no.
Not wounded, sire, but dead.
It seems the minute she hit the water, the wine hit her.
Now look here, Connor.
Dexter A likely story, Connor.
Hello, Dexter. Hello, George. Hello, Mike. My feet are made of clay. Made of clay, did you know? Good niiiggghhhttt little man!
Dexter [Mike carries her upstairs]
How are the mighty fallen! But if I know Tracy - and I know her well, she'll remember little of this. For the second time in her life, she'll draw quite a tidy blank.
[As George is about to hit Mike, Dexter instead steps in and hits Mike]
Hey listen! What right have...?
Dexter A husband's, till tomorrow, Kittredge.
Dexter [George leaves] [to Mike]
I know. I know. I'm sorry. But I thought I'd better hit you before he did. He's in better shape than I am.
Well, you're enough.
I don't know what's the matter with me. I must have had too much sun yesterday. My eyes don't open properly.
Dexter You should have taken a quick swim when you got home.
Dexter There, now they're open.
That was just the beginning, and it was no dream!
Dexter Perhaps I'll go look for some eye-openers in the pantry.
That's the first sane remark I've heard today. Come along, Dexter. I know a formula that's said to pop the pennies off the eyelids of dead Irishmen.
Dexter [to Dinah]
If the conversation should lag, you might tell Tracy about your dream.
I'm such an unholy mess of a girl...But never in my life, not if I live to be a hundred, will I ever forget how you tried to stand me on my feet again.
Dexter You - you're in great shape.
Dexter Yes, yes. She was quite a boat, the True Love, wasn't she?
Was, and is.
Dexter My, she was yar.
She was yar alright. I wasn't, was I?
Dexter Not very. Oh, you were good at the bright work, though.
I made her shine. Where is she now?
Dexter I'm gonna sell it to Ruth Watrous.
You're gonna sell the True Love, for money?
Dexter Sure...Oh well, what's it matter? When you're through with a boat, you're through. Besides, it was only comfortable for two people. Unless you want her.
No, no I don't want her.
Dexter Well, I'm designing another one anyway, along more practical lines.
What'll you call her?
Dexter I thought the True Love II. What do you think?
Dexter, if you call any boat that, I promise you I'll blow you and it out of the water. I'll tell you what you can call her if you like...in fond remembrance of me, the Easy Virtue.
Dexter Shut up, Red! I can't have you thinking things like that about yourself.
Well, what am I supposed to think when I - Oh I don't know. I don't know anything any more.
Dexter That sounds very hopeful, Red. That sounds just fine.
[reading George's letter to Dexter, Mike, and Liz]
My dear Tracy: I want you to know that you will always be my friend, but your conduct last night was so shocking to my ideals of womanhood...that my attitude toward you and the prospect of a happy and useful life together has been changed materially. Your breach of common decency...
[George enters, criticising her for reading his letter out loud]
It's only a letter from a friend. They're my friends too. [continues to read] ...certainly entitles me to a full explanation before going through with our proposed marriage. In the light of day, I am sure that you will agree with me. Otherwise, with profound regrets and all best wishes, yours very sincerely...Yes, George, I quite agree with you - in the light of day and the dark of night, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health - and thank you so very much for your good wishes at this time...I wish for your sake, as well as mine, I had an explanation, but unfortunately I've none. You'd better just say, 'Good riddance,' George.
On the very eve of your wedding, an affair with another man.
Kittredge, it may interest you to know that the so-called 'affair' consisted of exactly two kisses and a rather late swim...All of which I thoroughly enjoyed, and the memory of which I wouldn't part with for anything... After which I deposited Tracy on her bed in her room, and promptly returned down here to you two - which doubtless you'll remember.
Why? Was I so unattractive, so distant, so forbidding, or something - that - ?
Well, this is fine talk, too.
I'm asking a question.
You were extremely attractive, and as for distant and forbidding, on the contrary. But you also were a little the worse - or the better - for wine, and there are rules about that.
Thank you, Mike. I think men are wonderful.
We all go haywire at times and if we don't, maybe we ought to.
A man expects his wife to ...
...behave herself, naturally.
Dexter To behave herself naturally.
If it hadn't been for that drink last night, all this might not have happened.
Apparently nothing did. What made you think it had?
Well, it didn't take much imagination!
Not much, perhaps, but just of a certain kind.
It seems you didn't think anything too well of yourself.
That's the odd thing, George. Somehow I would have hoped that you'd think better of me than I did.
I'm not going to quibble, Tracy. All the evidence was there!
And I was guilty. Straight off. That is, until I was proved innocent.
Let's let bygones be bygones. What do ya say?
Yes, and goodbye George...You're too good for me, George. You're a hundred times too good...And I'd make you most unhappy, most - That is, I'd do my best to.
Dexter Not in the least. But I'll risk it. Will you?
You bet! You didn't do it just to soften the blow?
Dexter No.
Nor to save my face?
Dexter Oh, it's a nice little face.
Oh Dexter, I'll be yar now, I promise to be yar.
Dexter Be whatever you like, you're my redhead.
Other characters in The Philadelphia Story (1940)
More Cary Grant characters
Mortimer Brewster
Walter Burns
Roger Thornhill
Dr. David Huxley
Jerry Warriner
T.R. Devlin
Johnnie Aysgarth
Captain Cummings