Walter Burns Tell him if he'll reprieve Earl Williams, we'll support him for senator. Tell him the Morning Post will be behind him hook, line, and sinker.
Played by Cary Grant 
His Girl Friday (1940) · 54 quotes
His Girl Friday (1940) · 54 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in His Girl Friday (1940): in 29 of its 54 quotes
Most scenes with: Hildegard 'Hildy' Johnson (20), Bruce Baldwin (6)
No, no, never mind the Chinese earthquake for heaven's sake...Look, I don't care if there's a million dead...No, no, junk the Polish Corridor...Take all those Miss America pictures off Page Six...Take Hitler and stick him on the funny page...No, no, leave the rooster story alone - that's human interest.
More lines from Walter Burns
4 quotes Walter Burns Walter Burns I wish you hadn't done that, Hildy...Divorce me. Makes a fellow lose all faith in himself...Almost gives him a feeling he wasn't wanted.
Walter Burns [to Bruce]
You're getting a great little girl for yourself...You're getting something else too, Bruce, you're getting a great newspaperman ... One of the best I ever knew. Sorry to see her go. Darn sorry, Hildy.
Walter Burns [on the phone]
Well Butch, where are you?...Well, what are you doing there? Haven't you even started?...Listen, it's a matter of life and death!...Well, you can't stop for a dame now! I don't care if you've been after her for six years. Butch - our whole lives are at stake! Are you going to let a woman come between us after all we've been through?...Butch, I'd put my arm in fire for you, up to here. Now you can't double-cross me...Put her on, I'll talk to her. Oh, good evening madam. Now listen, you ten-cent glamour girl. You can't keep Butch away from his duty!
Scenes with Walter Burns
24 scenes
I spent six weeks in Reno, then Bermuda, oh, about four months, I guess. It seems like yesterday to me.
Walter Maybe it was yesterday, Hildy. Been seeing me in your dreams?
Oh, no, Mama doesn't dream about you anymore, Walter. You wouldn't know the old girl now.
Walter I'd know you anytime, anyplace, anywhere.
A big fat lummox like you - hiring an airplane to write: 'Hildy, don't be hasty, remember my dimple.' Walter. It delayed our divorce twenty minutes while the judge went out to watch it.
Walter I've still got the dimple and in the same place.
All I know is that instead of two weeks in Atlantic City with my bridegroom, I spent two weeks in a coal mine with John Krupsky. You don't deny that, do you Walter?
Walter Deny it? I'm proud of it. We beat the whole country on that story.
Well, I suppose we did. That isn't what I got married for!
Walter What's the use of fighting, Hildy? I'll tell you what you do. You come back to work on the paper, and if we find we can't get along in a friendly fashion, we'll get married again.
Oh Walter, you're wonderful - in a loathsome sort of way. Listen, Walter, you are no longer my husband and no longer my boss. And you're not going to be my boss.
Walter All right, take it. Work for somebody else. That's the gratitude I get.
Oh, I wish you'd stop hamming.
Walter What were you when you came here five years ago? A little college girl from a school of journalism. I took a doll-faced hick.
Well, you wouldn't take me if I hadn't been doll-faced...
Walter Listen. I made a great reporter out of you, Hildy. But you won't be half as good on any other paper and you know it. We're a team. That's what we are. You need me and I need you, and the paper needs both of us.
Sold American! Listen, Walter, the paper's gonna have to get along without me. So are you. It just didn't work out, Walter.
Walter Well, it would have worked out if you'd been satisfied with just being editor and reporter - but not you! You had to marry me and spoil everything.
I wasn't satisfied? I suppose I proposed to you?
Walter And I still claim I was tight the night I proposed to you. If you had been a gentleman, you would have forgotten all about it. But not you.
Walter [Hildy throws her pocketbook at the back of his head, but he ducks]
You're losing your eye. You used to be able to pitch better than that.
Walter Hildy, you've got to help me out. Just this once...This will bring us back together again. Just the way we used to be. This is bigger than anything that ever happened to us. Don't do it for me, do it for the paper.
Scram, Svengali.
Walter Now look, if you won't do it for love, how about money? Forget the other offer. I'll raise you twenty-five bucks a week.
Listen to me, you great big bumble-headed baboon.
Walter I'll make it thirty-five bucks and not a cent more.
Walter, are you gonna listen?
Walter But good grief, how much is that other paper gonna pay you?
There isn't any other paper.
Walter Oh! Well in that case, the raise is off. You go back to your old salary...
Walter, I want to show you something. It's here. It's a ring. Take a good look at it. Do you know what it is? It's an engagement ring. I tried to tell you right away, but you would start reminiscing. I'm getting married, Walter, and I'm also getting as far away from the newspaper business as I can get.
Walter What?
I am through.
Walter You can marry all you want to, Hildy, but you can't quit the newspaper business.
Oh! Why not?
Walter I know you, Hildy. I know what quitting would mean to you.
And what would it mean?
Walter It would kill ya.
You can't sell me that, Walter Burns.
Walter Who says I can't? You're a newspaperman.
That's why I'm quitting. I want to go someplace where I can be a woman.
Walter You mean be a traitor.
A traitor? A traitor to what?
Walter A traitor to journalism. You're a journalist, Hildy.
A journalist? Hell, what does that mean? Peeking through keyholes? Chasing after fire engines? Waking people up in the middle of the night to ask them if Hitler's gonna start another war? Stealing pictures off old ladies? I know all about reporters, Walter. A lot of daffy buttinskis running around without a nickel in their pockets and for what? So a million hired girls and motormen's wives'll know what's going on. Why-... Golly, what's the use? Walter, you-you wouldn't know what it means to want to be respectable and live a half-way normal life. The point is, I-I'm through.
He's an insurance salesman. That's a good, honest business, isn't it?
Walter Oh certainly, it's honest. It's also adventurous, it's romantic. Listen, Hildy, I can't picture you being surrounded by policies, policies...
I can, I can, and I like it, what's more. Besides, he forgets the office when he's with me...He doesn't treat me like an errand boy either, Walter. He treats me like a woman.
Walter He does, does he? How did I treat ya, like a water buffalo?
I don't know from water buffalos, but I do know about him. He's kind and he's sweet and he's considerate. He wants a home and children.
Walter Sounds more like a guy I ought to marry. What's his name?
Uh, Baldwin. Bruce Baldwin.
Walter Baldwin, Baldwin. Oh, I knew a Baldwin once. A horse thief in Mississippi. Couldn't be the same fella, could it?
You're now talking about the man I'm marrying tomorrow.
Walter Tomorrow? As soon as that?
Walter She deserves all this happiness, Bruce. All the things I couldn't give her. Yeah, all she ever wanted was a home.
Well, I'll certainly try to give her one.
Walter I know you will, Bruce. Where are you gonna live?
Albany.
Walter Albany, huh? Got a family up there then?
No, just my mother.
Walter 'Just your mother.' Oh, you're gonna live with your mother?
Well, just for the first year.
Walter Oh, that will be nice! Yes, yes, a home with mother - in Albany too!
Mighty nice little town - Albany. They've got the state capital there, you know.
Walter Well Bruce, how is business up there? Any better?
Well, Albany's a mighty good insurance town. Most people there take it out pretty early in life.
Walter Yeah, well I can see why they would.
I figure I'm in one business that really helps people. Of course, we don't help you much while you're alive, but afterward - that's what counts!
Walter Listen, Bruce, I, uh, let me get that straight, I must have misunderstood you. You mean you're taking the sleeper today and then getting married tomorrow?
Oh, well, it's not like that.
Walter Well, what is it like?
Oh poor Walter. He'll toss and turn all night. Perhaps we better tell him Mother's coming along, too.
Walter [To Hildy]
Mother? Why, your mother kicked the bucket!
No, my mother, my mother.
Walter Oh, your mother. Oh, well, that relieves my mind.
[To Walter]
It was cruel to let you suffer that way. [To Bruce] Isn't Walter sweet? Always wanting to protect me.
Walter Well, I admit I wasn't much of a husband, but you can always count on me, Hildy.
Walter Well, he'll (Egelhoffer) say the same as all the rest.
Suppose he does.
Walter Well, what's the scheme, Hildy?
Look Walter, you get the interview with Earl Williams. Print Egelhoffer's statement. And right alongside of it - you know, double column - run your interview. Alienist says he's sane. Interview shows he's goofy.
Walter Aw Hildy, you can do it. You could save that poor devil's life.
How long would the interview take?
Walter Oh, about an hour for the interview. Another hour to write it. That's about all.
Hildy, we could take the six o'clock train if it'd save a man's life.
No, Bruce. [To Walter] If you want to save Earl Williams' life, you write the interview yourself. You're still a good reporter.
Walter Aw, Hildy. You know I can't write that kind of thing. It takes a woman's touch. It needs that heart, that...
Now don't get poetic, Walter. Get Sweeney. He's the best man you've got on the paper for that sob-sister stuff.
Walter [explaining that Sweeney is not to be found because he is out celebrating the birth of twins]
So Sweeney has twins, and Earl Williams gets hanged tomorrow. [to Bruce] Well you argue with her. You argue with her. Otherwise, you're going on a honeymoon with blood on your hands. How can you have any happiness after that? All through the years, you'll remember that a man went to the gallows because she was too selfish to wait two hours. I tell ya, Bruce, Earl Williams' face will come between you on the train tonight and at the preacher's tomorrow, and all the rest of your lives.
I just remembered. Sweeney was only married four months ago.
Walter All right, Hildy, you win. I'm licked.
Walter [to Bruce]
You persuade Hildy to do the story and you can write out a nice fat insurance policy for me.
I refuse to use my wife for business purposes.
We could use that money, Bruce. How long would it take to get him examined?
Well, I could get a company doctor here in twenty minutes.
Alright Bruce, suppose you have Mr. Burns examined over in his office and see what they'll allow on that old carcass of his...
Walter Say, I'm better than I ever was. How do ya like...
There was never anything to brag about. Now look, Bruce. I'll go back and change and dress. And after you get the check, you phone me. I'll be in the press-room of the Criminal Courts Building. Oh Walter!
Walter What?
By the way, I think you'd better make that a certified check.
Walter What do you think I am, a crook?
Yes. No certified check, no story. Get me?
Walter It'll be certified. Want my fingerprints?
No thanks. I've still got those.
Walter [after designating Hildy as the beneficiary of his life insurance policy]
Well, by that time, you'll probably have made enough so that the money won't mean anything to you. But suppose you haven't made good Bruce? What about Hildy's old age? Think of Hildy. Ah - I can see her now. White-haired. Lavender and old lace. Can't you see her, Bruce?
Walter She's old, isn't she? Now Bruce, don't you think that Hildy is entitled to spend her last remaining years without worries of money? Of course you do, Bruce.
Of course, if you put it that way.
Walter And remember, I love her too.
Yes, I'm beginning to realize that.
Walter And the beauty of it is, she'll never have to know until I've passed on. Oh well, maybe she'll think kindly of me after I'm gone.
Gee! You make me feel like a heel comin' between ya.
Walter No, no Bruce. You didn't come between us. It was all over for her before you came on the scene. For me...it'll never be.
Walter [describing Bruce]
He looks like, uh, that fellow in the movies, you know, uh, Ralph Bellamy.
Benji
Oh him.
Walter Can you handle it?
Benji
I've never flopped on you yet, have I?
Walter Get Bruce out of jail? How can you worry about a man who's resting in a nice quiet police station while this is going on? Hildy, this is WAR! You can't desert me now!
Oh Walter, get off that trapeze. You've got your story right over there in the desk. Go on. Smear it all over the front page. Earl Williams - captured by the Morning Post. I covered your story for ya and I got in a fine mess doing it. Now I'm gettin' out.
Walter You're a drooling idiot. What do you mean you're getting out? There are 365 days in a year one can get married. How many times you got a murderer locked up in a desk? Once-in-a-lifetime. Hildy, you got the whole city by the seat of the pants.
Sure, I know, I know...
Walter You know. You know. You got the brain of a pancake. This isn't just a story you're covering. It's a revolution. This is the greatest yarn in journalism since Livingston discovered Stanley.
It's the other way around.
Walter Oh, well don't get technical at a time like this. Do you realize what you've done, honey? You've taken a city that's been graft-ridden for 40 years under the same old gang. With this yarn, you're kicking 'em out. They're giving us a chance to have the same kind of government New York's having under LaGuardia. Listen honey, if I didn't have your best interest at heart, do you think I'd waste my time arguin' with ya? You've done something big, Hildy. You've stepped up into a new class.
Huh?
Walter We'll make such monkeys out of those ward heelers next Tuesday nobody will vote for 'em. Not even their wives.
Expose 'em, eh...
Walter Certainly. We'll crucify that mob. We'll keep Williams under cover until morning so the Post can break the story exclusive. Then we'll let the Governor in on the capture. Share the glory with him.
I get it. I get it.
Walter You've kicked over the whole City Hall like an applecart. You've got the Mayor and Hartwell backed up against a wall. You put one administration out and another one in. This isn't just a newspaper story, Hildy. It's a career. And you standin' there bellyache-ing about whether you're catchin' an eight o'clock train or a nine o'clock train.
Well, Walter, I never figured it that way.
Walter You're still a doll-faced hick, that's why.
Gee, we'd be the white-haired boys, won't we?
Walter Sure, they'll be naming streets after you. Hildy Johnson Street. There'll be statues of ya in the park. The movies will be after ya. The radio. By tomorrow morning, I'll betcha there's a Hildy Johnson cigar. I can see the billboards now. They say, 'Light up with Hildy Johnson.'
Oh Walter, will you stop that acting!...We got a lot to do.
Walter Now you're talking.
Walter? The mayor's first wife - what was her name?
Walter You mean the one with the wart on her -
Right.
Walter Fanny.
'While hundreds of Sheriff Hartwell's paid gunmen stalked through the city shooting innocent bystanders, spreading their reign of terror, Earl Williams was lurking less than twenty yards from the Sheriff's Office where...'
Walter Wait a minute, wait a minute, aren't you going to mention the Post? Doesn't the paper get any credit?
Well, honey, I did that. Right there in the second paragraph.
Walter Who's gonna read the second paragraph? Listen honey, for ten years, I've been telling ya how to write a newspaper story and that's all I get?
Walter Be honest. If you were out joy-riding, plastered, and got into some scrape, why don't you admit it instead of accusing innocent people?
Mrs. Baldwin
You ruffian. How dare you talk like that to me!
He's just a little crazy, mother.
Mrs. Baldwin
And I can tell you something more. I can tell you why they did it...They had some kind of a murderer in here, and they were hiding him.
Walter Madam. You're a ****-Eyed Liar, and you know it.
Well, it looks like ten years apiece for you two birds.
Walter Does it?
Whenever you think you've got the Morning Post licked, it's time for you to get out of town.
Whistling in the dark? Well that isn't gonna help you this time. You're through.
Walter Listen. The last man who said that to me was Archie Leach just a week before he cut his throat. [Archie/Archibald Leach was Cary Grant's real name.]
Sheriff and the Mayor
Is that so?
Walter We've been in worse jams than this, haven't we, Hildy?
Nope.
Remember the time we stole Old Lady Haggerty's stomach off the coroner's physician...We proved she'd been poisoned then, didn't we, Walter? We had to hide out for a week. Do you remember that?...That's where, I mean, how...
Walter We could have gone to jail for that too, you know that.
I guess so.
Walter Aw yes, maybe you're right, Hildy. It's a bad business. Well, you're gonna be better off. Say, you better get going.
Where would I go?
Walter Well, to Bruce, of course.
But you know, he's gone. He took the nine o'clock train.
Walter Just send him a wire. He'll be waiting at the station when you get into Albany. Now go on.
I don't know. I got so messed up, Walter. Maybe...
Walter Get going, Hildy.
Get going? What is that with you?
Walter ...Now look, honey. Can't you understand? I'm trying to do something noble for once in my life. Now get out of here before I change my mind. Come on.
But Walter, listen, just a minute...
Walter ...Send the fellow a wire. He'll be waiting when you get in. Come on.
Who'll write the story?
Walter I'll do it myself. Won't be half as good as you can do it, but what's the difference?
It's my story. I'd kinda like to think that it...I get it, Walter. The same old act, isn't it? Trying to push me out of here, thinking I'll be stupid enough to want to stay.
Walter Now I know I deserve that, Hildy...but this is one time you're wrong. Look honey, when you walk out that door, part of me will go right with ya. But a whole new world's gonna open up for you. I made fun of Bruce and Albany and all that kind of thing, you know why?
Why?
Walter I was jealous. I was sore because he could offer you the kind of life I can't give ya. That's what you want, honey.
I-I could stay and do the story, and take the train in the morning. Doesn't make that much difference.
Walter Now forget it. Come on, come on. Goodbye dear, and good luck.
I thought you were really sending me away with Bruce. I didn't know you had him locked up. I thought you were on the level for once. I think you were just standing by and letting me go off with him without doing a thing about it.
Walter Oh come on, honey. What do you think I was? A chump?
And I thought you didn't love me.
Walter Oh, what were you thinking with?
I don't know. Well, what are you standing there gawking for? We have to get him out of jail. Send Louie down with some honest money and send him back to Albany where he belongs.
Walter Sure, sure.
Walter [To Duffy on the phone]
We're coming over to the office. No, don't worry about the story. Hildy's gonna write it. Course she's not quitting. She never intended to. We're gonna get married.
Can we go on a honeymoon this time, Walter?
Walter Sure. Hey Duffy, you can be managing editor. No, no, not permanently. Just for the two weeks we're away on a honeymoon...I don't know where we're going. [To Hildy] Where are we going?
Niagara Falls.
Walter [To Duffy]
Niagara Falls, Duffy.
Two whole weeks, Walter?
Walter Sure. You've earned it. [To Duffy] What? What? Strike? What strike? Where? Albany? Well, I know it's on the way Duffy, but I can't ask Hildy to...
All right, we'll plan on Albany.
Walter ...Ha, ha, ha. Well, isn't that a coincidence? We're going to Albany. I wonder if Bruce can put us up?...
Other characters in His Girl Friday
More Cary Grant characters
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John Robie
Roger Thornhill
Dr. David Huxley
Jerry Warriner
Dexter
T.R. Devlin
Johnnie Aysgarth