Zeus.
Poseidon.
It's been many years.
What do you see?
Thunderclouds.
But no lightning. Stolen.
What, you think I took it? Omnipotence has blinded you, brother. We are forbidden from stealing each other's powers.
But our children aren't.
You're accusing my son? I haven't seen him since he was a baby. He doesn't know me; he doesn't even know who he is because of you.
If your son is the thief, I will send him to the depths of Tartarus.
If you touch him, you will have the fight of your life!
He must return the bolt to me in 14 days, by midnight on the summer solstice... or there will be war.
Percy
Oh, come on, man. You have to do that right here? It's disgusting. We're in a kitchen.
They found him. He's in danger.
Percy
Who found me?
Percy, take this to defend yourself. It's a powerful weapon. Guard it well. Only use it in times of severe distress.
Percy
This is a pen. This is a pen!
Ooh. The daughters of Aphrodite. Okay. All right, guys. You guys got a lot of catching up to do. Their mother is the goddess of love, so you know where that leads.
Percy
I get the sense that you don't like me very much.
It's possible. I mean, our parents hate each other.
Percy
Wait... they do?
Mm-hmm. I definitely have strong feelings for you. I just haven't decided if they're positive or negative yet.
Percy
Well, you let me know when you figure it out.
You'll be the first.
Guys, I can't pee with her watching me!
Sorry, guys. I messed up. I should have closed the curtains.
Come on, guys. Let's hit the road before Homeland Security shows up.
Persephone! What could possibly be taking so long? Don't ignore me!
Or WHAT?! What will you do? [quietly] I'm already in Hell.
Alright, come on. Come on, give it back.
Fyge makria tous! [the gates slam shut, and the hounds leave]
Bad dog! Bad dog!
He won't remember a thing!
Percy
Why'd you do that?
Because, he's cruel and abusive! The only thing I look forward to is my allotted time away from this hellhole. A war of the gods would put an end to all that, and I'd be alone with only him, forever. [holds the bolt out to Percy] Go. Take the bolt. And your mother.
I know I'm not the father you always wanted. But if you even need me, I'll be there for you. In your thoughts, in your dreams.
First rule of battle strategy: don't ever let your opponent distract you.
Gabe
I need a beer. [goes to the refrigerator and sees a lock on the door along with a note that reads "Do not open this refrigerator under any condition! EVER! No matter what!! - Percy"] What? "Do not open..." That little brat. Well, I may not live here anymore... but I'm still the king of this castle. [grabs a fire extinguisher, breaks the lock, and opens the door to reveal Medusa's head on the top shelf. Her eyes glow yellow, and her snakes hiss. The camera goes down one snake's throat, and the screen turns black. The sound of stone hardening is heard.]
