[Grandmother rattles off the day's schedule at the breakfast table] [as Sharon]
I don't think I'll be able to do any of those today.
G Grandmother
[surprised]
What did you say?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick Sharon! You interrupted your grandmother.
Well I have something important to tell you. [emphatically] Mother, I think what you and Daddy did to us children is lousy! In fact, I think it stinks!
[approaching Grandmother]
And let's get this straight, I'm not Sharon, I'm Susan. [facing her mother] Sharon, your Sharon, is out in California with Daddy.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick But it's impossible!
G Grandmother
You can't be Susan.
But I AM Susan. Sharon and I met at camp, so we decided to switch places. She bit off her fingernails and I cut her hair, and now she's out in California with Dad, swimming and riding my horse and having a KEEN time and I'm stuck here with these lousy music lessons and I HATE them!
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick [staring as if too good to be true]
Susan!
Oh I'm sorry, Mother. But I wanted to see you, and I missed not having a mother. I love you very much, and I wondered, if you could love me as me and not as Sharon. Please?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick Oh Susan! [she hugs Susan] Oh my darling. Why didn't you let me know? Why didn't you tell me?
I couldn't help it. I mean, I wanted to be near you and to know what it was like to have a mother and everything.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick Oh, Baby. [they hug again]
G Grandmother
[getting up and hugging Susan]
Susan, darling! Let me look at you. [to Maggie] She's EXACTLY ...
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick I know, I can't believe it.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick [Maggie, Susan and Verbena enter the house]
Oh, it was just wonderful!
[coming down the stairs]
Mother! Oh, I'm so glad you came! [Sharon and Maggie hug] Oh! You look wonderful! What'd you do to yourself?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick Do you like it?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick Oh darling! [Maggie hugs Sharon again] Oh! Finally! Both of you together at last. What do you think of each other?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick [Addressing Sharon]
Oh and just look at you! That short hair.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick You know, I like it.
Oh, and I love yours, Mother.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick Where's your father?
Oh, he's out somewhere on a horse.
[to Sharon]
Are we in time?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick [to Susan]
Time?
[to Susan]
Didn't you tell her? [Susan shakes her head, no]
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick Tell me what?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick Well. When is all this taking place?
V Verbena
Saturday, supposedly. [Maggie looks away, anxiously]
She just sort of infiltrated, Mother. And before you knew it, Dad was hooked.
V Verbena
If you ask me, Mr. Evers is slipping into his second childhood.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick Oh your father is old enough to know what he's doing. Shall we go upstairs and get unpacked? I'm just dying to get into a hot shower after that long plane trip.
[Chatter as they all move up the stairs]
ME Mitch Evers
Ah Maggie, you're so beautiful.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick [to brush it off]
Ah...
ME Mitch Evers
No I mean it! I know I don't say things like you want to hear, but I've been thinking a lot about you, and us, and the way things used to be... this might sound funny to you but you know what I've missed most of all?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick Mitch?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick You've got stew all over you.
ME Mitch Evers
I don't care.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick Go and wash it off. [pause] What do you miss?
ME Mitch Evers
Well, I don't care if it does sound silly; I miss those wet stockings you used to have hanging around the bathroom, and I miss my razor being dull because you used it to shave your legs with. And I miss the hairpins mixed up with the fish hooks in my tackle box... it's no fun having a clothes closet all to myself. And it's no fun swearing because you're not around to make believe you're shocked by it. Well, nothing's any good without you Maggie, I miss a lot of things... I guess I just miss you!
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick Why did you take so long to tell me?
ME Mitch Evers
I don't know... Well because, cause I guess I was hoping that you'd come back sometime. Maggie, I've been the prize chump of the world. We've both been. We're going to grow into a couple of old lonely people if we don't do something about it.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick I know.
ME Mitch Evers
You don't want that, do you?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick No Mitch.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick [they kiss]
Oh Mitch, it's been so long... so very long.
ME Mitch Evers
Don't cry. Listen, you can slug me in the eye anytime you want.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick Ok!
