Ocean's Eleven (2001) quotes

View Quote You guys are pros. The best. I'm sure you can make it out of the casino. Of course, lest we forget, once you're out the front door, you're still in the middle of the ****ing desert!

View Quote I know more about casino security than any man alive, I invented it, and it cannot be beaten. They got cameras, they got locks, they got watchers, they got timers, they got vaults, they got enough armed personnel to occupy Paris! [pause] Okay, bad example.

View Quote Turk: Watch it, bud.
Virgil: Who you calling bud, pal?
Turk: Who you calling pal, friend?
Virgil: Who you calling friend, jackass?
Turk: Don't call me a jackass.
Virgil: I just did call you a jackass!

View Quote You're either in or you're out. Right now.

View Quote Rusty: Tell me this is not about her, or I am walking. I am walking off this job right now.
Danny: Who?
Rusty: Tess. Terry Benedict. Tell me this is not about screwing the guy who's screwing your wife.
Danny: Ex-wife.
Rusty: Tell me.
Danny: It's not about that.
[pause]
Danny: It's not entirely about that.
[Rusty turns away, furious.]
Danny: Russ, do you remember what we said back when we first got into this business. We said we were gonna play the game...
Danny, Rusty: Like we had nothing to lose.
Danny: Well, I lost something... I lost someone. That's why I'm here.
[long pause]
Rusty: Okay, here's the problem - now we're stealing two things. And when push comes to shove, and you can't have both, which are you gonna choose? And remember - Tess does not split eleven ways.

View Quote Danny: [holds up a black wallet] Hello Linus. Whose is this?
Linus: Who are you?
Danny: A friend of Bobby Caldwell's.
[produces a plane ticket]
Danny: You're either in or you're out. Right now.
Linus: What is it?
Danny: It's a plane ticket. A job offer.
Linus: You're pretty trusting pretty fast.
Danny: Well Bobby has a lot of faith in you.
Linus: Fathers are like that. [pauses] Didn't he tell you? He didn't want me trading on his name.
Danny: Do this job and he'll be trading on yours.

View Quote [at the end of a poker game] I'm not sure what four nines does, but with the ace I think it's pretty high.

View Quote [to all the guys] So unless we intend to do this job in Reno, we're in barney. [everyone pauses] Barney Rubble. [they look bewildered] Trouble! [the guys finally nod in understanding]

View Quote [after talking to Linus] It's nice there. You like it? [Linus says yeah] That's wonderful. Get in the goddamn house.

View Quote [after rejecting Danny and Rusty's plan to rob a casino] Look, we all go way back, and I owe you guys from the thing with the guy and the place, and I'll never forget it.

View Quote Parole Board Member #1: Mr Ocean, the purpose of this hearing is to determine, whether, if released, you are likely to break the law again. While this was your first conviction, you have been implicated, though never charged, in over a dozen other confidence tricks and frauds. What can you tell us about those?
Danny: As you say, ma'am, I was never charged.
Parole Board Member #2: Mr Ocean, what we're trying to find out is was there a reason you chose to commit this crime, or was there a reason you simply got caught this time.
Danny: My wife left me. I was upset. I fell into a self-destructive pattern.
Parole Board Member #3: If released, is it likely you'd fall back into a similar pattern?
Danny: She already left me once. I don't think she'd do it again just for kicks.

View Quote [Basher's original plan for knocking out the casino's power has flopped]
Basher: Hang on a minute, hang on... we could use a pinch.
Danny: What's a "pinch"?
Basher: A pinch is a device which creates, like, a cardiac arrest for any broadband electrical circuitry. Better yet, a pinch is a bomb - now, but without the bomb. See, when a nuclear weapon detonates, it unleashes an electromagnetic pulse which shuts down any power source within its blast radius. Now that tends not to matter in most cases, because the nuclear weapon usually destroys anything you might need power for anyway. But see, a pinch creates a similar electromagnetic pulse, but without the fuss of mass destruction and death. So instead of Hiroshima, you'd be getting the seventeenth century.

View Quote Virgil: Are you a man?
Turk: Yes, nineteen.
Virgil: Are you alive?
Turk: Yes, eighteen.
Virgil: Evel Knievel.
Turk: ...shit.

View Quote [as Tess walks down the stairs] This is the best part of my day.

View Quote [discussing possible candidates for their crew]
Danny: Phil Turenteen...
Rusty: Dead.
Danny: No shit. On the job?
Rusty: Skin cancer.
Danny: You send flowers?
Rusty: Dated his wife for a while.