Sam All I can tell you is that when you're my age, guys will be lined up around the corner for you.
You have to say that because you're my teacher.
Sam Actually, I shouldn't say that because I'm your teacher.
Played by Michael Vartan 
Never Been Kissed (1999) · 31 quotes
Never Been Kissed (1999) · 31 quotes
Tied for 2nd most-quoted character in Never Been Kissed (1999): in 5 of its 31 quotes
Most scenes with: Josie Geller (3)
Scenes with Sam
5 scenes Sam Sam Sam Sorry I'm late. It took me forever to get here.
I know what you mean.
Thomas "Tommy" Salomme
[swinging the bucket on the ferris wheel]
If the bucket's a rockin', don't come a kn-kn-kn-knockin'... Yeah!
Sam I like to say that men change, but we never do.
Thomas "Tommy" Salomme
[sarcastically, making fun of Josie]
Mr. Coulson rocks my world!
Sam [sees Anita outside the classroom]
Hi... are you here for the Sex Talk?
Ooo... I like a man who gets right to the point!
Sam Are you Pam?
...If you say so!
Sam [leads Anita into the room]
Okay, class, this is Pam, she is going to lead us today in our Sex Talk.
I what?! No, I what?! H-Hi, I'm P-Pam. Sex. Yes, well, Sex. What do you say about sex, really? You like a guy. You like a guy... you do it with him... sometimes he calls, sometimes he doesn't. [she laughs] Oooo.
[during a "sex-ed" class in which the students are trying to put condoms on bananas, Tracy has just revealed to Josie that she wants to have sex for the first time. Josie is somewhat stunned, but tries to offer advice]
You know, Adelie penguins, they spend their whole lives looking for that one other penguin and when they meet them, they know. And they spend the rest of their lives together.
Tracy
But I'm not a penguin.
Sam [has walked up next to them as Josie talked]
It's an analogy.
[Josie turns to look at him and loses her grip on the condom which flies up and smacks him in the face] [to Tracy]
Excuse me. I have to go die now. [puts her head in her hands]
